| I've been thinking about this for some time, trying to define exactly what confidence is, and I think I've come up with a vague idea of what separates someone like me who is successful with women to my friends who aren't. The more I realize this the more I'm noticing it in the posts from new guys in the community.
Every day (especially in sticking points) you see guys asking questions about how to get past one problem with just one girl. If a guy was saying he hits the same point every time with many different girls, sure, post away. But more often than not the guy has posted trying to get one girl. Now I'm not one to hate on oneitis, if you find the girl of your dreams, don't give up on her, but these are just girls they want to sleep with.
It's this type of thinking that has lead to ridiculous claims by so called gurus about how to get absolutely every single girl you approach. Not only do I not believe these claims, but the amount of effort and social calibration required is just ridiculous. And it hurts your confidence on the way to that point.
How about, rather than wasting your time trying to come up with a perfect system to bed every single girl, think to yourself, "Why does it matter if I get rejected by a girl?". If you're truly confident, you just move onto the next one, and rather than creating a web of lies or routines to break through every barrier a girl could possibly put up, find girls that are attracted to the real you. That can't wait to sleep with the real you. That after you're done fucking, still want to see the real you.
I figure I'm attracted to maybe 5% of women, think about it yourself and you'll realise you're probably the same. 1 in 4 women are within the age range you're looking for, about half the women in the western world are overweight, and then even of the ones in your age group and in good shape, only 1 in three is probably good looking. That leaves very few hotties. Meaning for me, less that 1 in 20 girls is attractive to me, and of them many of my friends disagree as to which 1 in 20 the hot one is.
Now women are less judgemental of looks but take other things into account. For them it's probably about the same. So think to yourself, if 1 in 20 girls you talk to is receptive, you're obviously a pretty good catch.
Remember, those 19 girls you weren't attracted to aren't bad people. You wouldn't care if they spoke to you. You don't think they're bad people. You don't even think they aren't datable. You just think they aren't right for you. If you're a genuine, nice, friendly guy, the 19 girls that aren't interested in you will feel the same about you. They WON'T be insulted, angry, pissed off, bitchy. They just aren't interested.
But here's the even better bit......if you're confident, nice, friendly and genuine, your odds will be WAY BETTER THAN 1 in 20. Because although only 1 in 20 might be attracted to you in the first place, probably 9 out of 10 can be attracted to you.
So why waste your time on that 1 in 10. Why worry about a sticking point you had with one girl when you can just move onto the next nine that probably won't have major sticking points.
Just be a nice, genuine guy. By all means, use everything you've learned here and in the community, but just don't sweat the small stuff. A bit of rejection is fine, because a bit of acceptance is more likely
Best of luck lads, but if you're a good guy, you won't need it.
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Even the most naturally gifted can learn to become better.
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