I have come a long way from being the AFC I was. I used to be that chubby Indian kid who used to listen to underground hip hop and thats all I was in to. I was the guy who ALWAYS got friend zoned and got really obsessed over one girl and then move on, my libido is always high but i get so insecure at times, my jerkin off habit has decreased at least. It is really sad thinking about it now, but I can acknowledge it and have learnt from my past mistakes. Now I notice while learning the game, even my rapping and performance on stage has improved! Just the way women are interacting with me now is so much more different! I have closed many times now and I am just staring to realize all those rejections in my past made me stronger. I have a hot GF now who i'd say is an 8. Now a sophomore in college. I still feel I can do a lot better in terms of looks and improving my personality and talking skills. I want to be seen as more social but I kind of had a nervous breakdown and snitched out some dealer last term cuz i got an adverse reaction to a drug i bought from him (bad move I know), so I dunno how people are going to take it but I'm on disciplinary probation this next term. My true friends stuck up for me, but I have to gain my reputation back! I probably lost a couple people as friends, but I don't care I am probably a better person for doing it. I have been going to the gym on and off and have a pretty athletic type body in the making, but it's hard to be consistent.
I am still having a hard time trying to find out my identity though and how I should project myself. I cut down on smoking weed and now I am hoping I don't relapse this next term as my roommates a total pothead. i need some goddamn self control and I need it fast.
I always wear a lot of accessories and peacocky clothes (like a full tiger print hoodie, indian nehru jackets etc.) I kind of want to give the zen vibe of that Indian yoga teacher who parties a lot or that VIP Bollywood actor? I'm not even sure anymore, I think that the James Matador look is the right way to go in terms of my idol/look i want to achieve, however I don't want to copy him entirely, I want to have that originality about me. I wear a lot of snapbacks and stuff, that seems to portray an aura about me, I also tried growing out my hair and people are noticing me more now.
I have an americanized accent and i grew up in int. schools my whole life, so I am pretty acculturated to a lot of different races and cultures. However I still want to hold on to my heritage to I preach a lot of eastern philosophy. Am I on the right path? Any advice or help with my situation would be great! Thanks, y'all.
My question is: I need help defining my tribe and avatar... who am I? e.g. james matador's is kind of the indian cowboy as much as an oxymoron as that may be.
Similarities to Personality: People say I'm a more attractive Aziz Ansari, but let's face it the "funny stand up comic" guy doesn't always get laid. Help me define my avatar.