Living back at home (caring for parent)



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PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 10:49 pm 
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I bought my first house at 28 and have a decent career.
I was like a rock star through my 30s with the killer bachelor pad.
Anyways I fucked up lost my house during the meltdown and now I am getting back on my feet.
In the meantime my 84 mother had a stroke so I moved back into her home to care for her.
At that time I broke with my ex who was a a no good cheating ho.

Now I'm back on the scene after 5 years and living at home is really fucking up my life.
I look like the 40 yr virgin to strangers.

I'm looking for a place, basically a shag pad and a place to have some privacy.
Anyone else in this circumstance?
I wonder if I should even bother playing the fields until I get my own place.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 8:04 pm 
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Quote:
I bought my first house at 28 and have a decent career.
I was like a rock star through my 30s with the killer bachelor pad.
Anyways I fucked up lost my house during the meltdown and now I am getting back on my feet.
In the meantime my 84 mother had a stroke so I moved back into her home to care for her.
At that time I broke with my ex who was a a no good cheating ho.

Now I'm back on the scene after 5 years and living at home is really fucking up my life.
I look like the 40 yr virgin to strangers.

I'm looking for a place, basically a shag pad and a place to have some privacy.
Anyone else in this circumstance?
I wonder if I should even bother playing the fields until I get my own place.
What was the outcome of this Spacejazz?
I'm in a similar situation and it doesn't really bother me. Being honest will be fine and the fact I've moved home to take care of my parents shows I'm a caring guy. If a girl doesn't relate to that she's ice cold and not worth my time.
I'm going to start dating again in the next few weeks and my frame on this has to be strong.
You can always turn it around making a joke of where you live saying you've escaped from the local prison or that you like to see a girls place to see what the latest Laura Ashley range is ;).

Just have a strong frame and be honest and relaxed about it. Shit happens but you are doing the right thing for your family.

_________________
Actions speak louder than words.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:27 pm 
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actually you are right on... I dropped any pretense of guilt about it. Most of my old clique are losers who never owned anything or have decent careers and let their parents rot in old age homes. I actually am proud of taking care of my mother and have started enjoying it rather than looking at it like an obligation.

Truth be told many decent women are just as insecure as men and find comfort that you are not running a shag carousel in your bachelor pad. I've been on several great dates with classier women who I told before I met. Like anything it's how you frame it, or own it rather. If they can't handle that you are actually a decent person ditch them on the spot. Better to go on Tinder or AshleyMadison for real nostrings action if that's your thing.

One key is to dress well, get up before noon and act like a respectable adult rather than reverting to any sort of comfort from your teens like wearing boxers around the place. It's actually an amazing opportunity to further school/career/bank account if you manage to not fuck off.

Nevertheless, if I am going to be shacked up for the long term I probably will find a nearby cheap studio apt where I can get away with all that.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 4:09 am 
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SpaceJazz:

Wondering if I could gain some insights from you on living at home?

I'm not in the exact situation you were in but I'm living back at home now and I'm already seeing how living at home really can mess one up a lot. Anything you'd do or done differently?


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:51 am 
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if it's messing you up leave life is to short
personally I made it a point to ask attractive women out and tell them straight up
if they have a problem they can fk off
i don't care
for some years when I had ultra bachelor beach house I could barely get laid, because I cared.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 9:08 pm 
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Location: London, UK
Interesting topic.

In my case I live with my parents by choice for one reason only - to save money.
(they have a 4-bedroom house, and my room would remain empty if I was not there).

I never tell girls where I live, and say that I live at an address that is actually my brother's. If I need to take a girl back to "my place" then I'll (nicely) ask my brother to move out for a night (I'll pay him to get a hotel) and I'll move it. So far this has never happened (the 6 girls I've had sex with in my life have all been at their own places).

I'm getting fairly desperate at pickup, I haven't had sex for 3 months (a daygame same-day-lay). Do you think I should get my own place, even if it involves spending the extra money on rent, in order to improve my chances? Or is it not going to help me all that much?

Thanks!


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:28 pm 
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There is no doubt having your own place is a major game changer.
If I was in hook up mode looking to lay as many chicks as possible it would be a requirement.
I notice that in my 20s when I had zero game I did well because I had a killer pad.

I am focusing on other stuff right now (career, school, committed girlfriend) it works OK for me but it is definitely temporary and I am looking for places all the time. Even with girlfriends it turns down the heat several notches.

No matter what people say, there is a inescapable reality that a man has to be self sufficient and independent. This doesn't apply to women, it is a double standard but it is very real and no one will tell you.


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