This is my first or one of my first ever posts on any forum, so I apologize for any mistakes I make. English is not my primer language, so I'll try to write as correct as it gets. And It's a bit long to read (sorry)

I had the idea of change and building a new life since I first watched Mystery's The Pckiup Artist. It made me realize what I've been doing wrong, in terms of behavior with girls and body language and I improved so much since then. But my progress has been non-existent the last few years.

It all started a month ago when I watched 3-4 movies in a row that had seemingly the same basic plotline: nerdy nice guy gets testosterone shot or education about "game" and becomes player.
in all those movies they completelly changed their personality. So I started researching the Internet and wrote all steps down, like, write down who you want to become, your goals, sub-goals etc.
It's all fine, but my problem starts when I have to do something extremely out of my comfort zone (like dancing in a nightclub or getting teased or shit tested). In this situation my new self freezes and I switch back to my old nerdy self. Guess you can say I'm incongruent.

My Question: how do you change your personality? I know every step of the way, every bit of information, but something is missing. I start to think that to change your character is impossible.

I have like 10 pages of goals, traits I want to have, habits to change, body language, fashion, body building...
I am also determined and hard working, but I am confused about how to start beign a new self.
I totally created a new self, inc. email, new name, similarly what Mystery teaches with his avatar, to become a persona attractive to women.

And something else that is a mystery to me: do girls prefer the type of man that is bit of a jerk and a bit cold (Harvey Specter from Suits) or a charismatic, smooth guy (like Neal Caffrey in White Collar); can't bring both personality types into one

PS

I am grateful for every peace of advice or critic from anyone, so keep'em comming

Hi Kazimr10!

Well first of all, I think that you need to realise change is gradual, it doesn't happen all at once.

You mentioned that you freeze or go back to 'your nerdy self' when you are in an uncomfortable situation, this is perfectly normal, but I would suggest that just keep exposing yourself to those uncomfortable situations until you become numb to them. Here's an example away from dating: When I first started bar work, I was so on edge about all of my customers staring at me and watching me pour each drink, I used to believe they were judging me, and it made me very self conscious. After many uncomfortable shifts, I eventually just became numb to the hundreds of customers staring at me, waiting to be served, and I started to realise that they were not judging me at all, they were just waiting. Now Im a bar manager and don't even think about what the customers are thinking of me, because I exposed myself to it so many times that I just became numb to it. A wise man once told me, "if it feels uncomfortable, then keep doing it because being uncomfortable is when you grow as a person".

Also, I might be wrong, but judging from your post, you sound like you think and read alot rather than staying in the moment, practice taking up some sports such as boxing, or football, where it will teach you to JUST ACT rather than think deeply about things.

Hope this helps.

Yeah really this is a gradual thing.

Meet new people. This is my best suggestion to you. You can learn a lot from new people and make new friends, new connections. You can find buddies to go work out with, or have night outs. You can meet women who will then introduce you to their friends, or you just meet them when you're spending time with them.

The thing with new people is that they don't know the person you used to be. They don't have all those superstitions that others already have about you.

My life used to suck a lot, even when I was already pretty confident with myself. But when I got to University I realized that these new people like me a lot more because they don't have memories of that pussy clown that I once was. And it opened up a lot of opportunities and gave my confidence an even bigger boost. I've been through some shit here. With girlfriends, cheatings, suicidal friends, family problems, failing exams, but meanwhile I still enjoyed my life because I always met new people and it never seemed like I wouldn't achieve my goals. So I just worked harder, and continued meeting people and making friends. Some "pals" and some I think will be my friends until we die. My life has so much more value because of the new circumstances and by being through all that shit I have also grown as a person. Women notice. Every new month I could feel that slowly they're more and more attracted to me. And I was just getting happier about myself. And this is pretty much where I stand now. 2nd year in med school, most problems solved, and having a girlfriend of more than a year.

So I think a new ambience really helps. If that doesn't happen any time soon, still having new people in your life is a big one I think.

Good Luck,
Peace,

In$tinct.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

^^ This right here is MASSIVE. Everytime you move to new groups of people, they don't know anything about where you have come from so you can be a completely new person. Alot of my friends when I was younger (I didnt realise this at the time) held me back from growing as a person, because they would constantly remind me of what a loser I was. Now as soon as I moved friend groups and met new people I didn't have to be a 'loser' anymore, because these new people never knew me as a loser, if that makes sense. So any new people you meet, dont feel uncomfortable because you have no reason to.

Thanks In$tinct for bringing up a point that I had loooong forgotten about which was a key in me changing!!

Do you actually know that you aren't mystery?do you realise that lots of girls won't even allow mystery the opportunity to talk to them ?upon all his changes?just like you and I?
Buddy take a look at gambler up there that's how you might wanna do it .you see that skinny dude gambler looking all nerdy and still pulling hot chicks?or wait Sinn looks very much average too Adam looks normal ,what do you want to change ?
Try to feel very good in your skin.....buy better clothes and shoes that you feel comfortable in ....I have been watching some of mystery videos and hmm he really looks like a pot head?I will tell you this very body gets rejected you can't force any girl to fuck you unless you wanna go to jail.learning to love your self and being calm with your identity is the best .improve your looks ,hit the gym ,keep wearing fashionable cool things and game on and if you get rejected tell your self she got lucky and game the next victim