Being More Mysterious



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 Post subject: Being More Mysterious
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:25 pm 
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I realized one of my biggest problems is i am not mysterious enough. I am a pretty talkative person, social, and outgoing. These arent negative qualities, but i have realized a key to my success is to be more mysterious.

Does anyone have any good advice on how i still be myself, but at the same time be more mysterious? Does anyone else have the same issue? i feel like it will improve my game a lot

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:25 am 
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There's a lot that goes in to the whole idea of being mysterious. I'd say the best short answer would be to behave in a manner that is difficult for the girl to read and be slightly unpredictable. This is the reason why my game is almost entirely comprised of natural game with push/pull laced in. Try that, or just start wearing a cape with a top hat and cane. Maybe even start wearing a monocle.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 6:34 am 
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well can someone elaborate a little more of what exactly goes into it. Im good at figuring some of this stuff out myself one i get a boost in the right direction

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:10 am 
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leave room for interpretation, do not feel the need to explain everything in great detail. leave out certain details in activities you may be doing.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 6:23 pm 
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Quote:
I realized one of my biggest problems is i am not mysterious enough. I am a pretty talkative person, social, and outgoing. These arent negative qualities, but i have realized a key to my success is to be more mysterious.

Does anyone have any good advice on how i still be myself, but at the same time be more mysterious? Does anyone else have the same issue? i feel like it will improve my game a lot
I guess I'm mysterious to most women since most women don't understand me.
Why?

Because I'm a mixture of very different things, I have a profound outlook on life, and I transcend every possible stereotype.

I am ' mysterious' because I'm outside the box.
I don't try to be outside, I am outside...lol That what's create the mystery.

While it can definitely be a plus it can cause some troubles.
Some women won't feel comfortable around you, even if they're attracted.

I'm not sure you need to be mysterious to be a successful womanizer, however you do need to pose some type of challenge to the girl.

She must feel that you have VALUE and that there's a CHALLENGE being with you, whatever that might be.

The challenge comes from you having STRONG BELIEFS, sticking to THEM and having STANDARDS.

Then you suddently become a challenge to women's eyes...

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:16 pm 
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I'm the mysterious type though. What you could do is to project a certain part of you that is mysterious.

You also may want to check out some archetypes of it. Much like SPAM. Or any other characters in a movie or story that is mysterious.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:41 pm 
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Would't count on having more succes in attracting by being mysterious (from my AFC point of view)... But it does give you a hugh amount of attention to begin with.

Most mysterious guy known to man is probably Bob Dylan. People have being obsessing over him for decades, and NOT because he's sexy (god forbid).

He's
- Defining himself by saying, what he is NOT (making him stand out)
- Takes things to the extreme (IMPORTANT from my point of view)
- Not quite predictable
- Very difficult to read (as mentioned in earlier post)
- Constant biblical, poetic or fine art references

Hope this helps


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:57 pm 
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Being mysterious comes from ACCEPTING all your parts. The reason guys are not mysterious is that somehow they don't believe they are ok the way they are and try to "convince" others that they are ok. Some one who is totally ok with himself does not have the need to be anything else than he is. This is also called authenticity. That and presence contribute to mysteriousness. It's a journey man.
There's a great method called "Shadow Work" created by Debbie Ford which allows you to accpet all your parts (the so-called "Dark Side" which is a combination of all the parts of yourself that you haven't accepted yet)

Hope this helps.
Ivan


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:53 pm 
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Yea, that actually really helps. I like to believe i am ok with myself. But i feel like in truth, there are aspects of me which i am not, and just try to convince myself i am. I would say i come off as confident, and to an extent i really am, but some of it maybe an act or a shell i give myself

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:48 pm 
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I have the same issue, except I am naturally more introverted and mysterious and recently have become more outgoing.


The key is, is to be outgoing in the right settings. Like being outgoing and talkative like 5% of the time, then going and being nonchalant and closed off the other 95% of the time. To a girl thats like giving her a taste of how awesome you are then taking it away. It drives them crazy but you have to be careful to not use this strategy for too long otherwise they will just get frustrated.


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2011 11:53 pm 
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This is definitely a tough question to answer logically. I'll give it a go. I believe there are two very strong elements that are probably both equal in contributing to the "mystery" vibe: Body language and verbal communication.

Body Language:

- Present yourself physically with your clothing and style that does not say "he's like everyone else in the room." There is a reason why we think a magician or illusionist is mysterious. It's because the first impression (the 2 second sensory register impression) immediately conveys a different fashion sense than what we're used to seeing. When I try to think about the girls that I found mysterious, it's usually the ones that don't wear Abercrombie, Victoria's Secret, American Eagle, etc. But the girls that have a unique sense of style, I know artists are great with this. I go to school near RISD = Rhode Island School of Design, tons of artists go to this school, and so many of them give the mysterious vibe. They have a fashion that stands out uniquely, and I just want to figure them out.

- Don't act over interested in what she is saying. I think this may be one of the main issues when it comes to trying to be mysterious. I see guys too often "baiting and reeling," but never do I see guys casting them away. If you agree and act too amazed, you are too familiar in aspect to what she is already congruent with in her own frame of mind. Now what I said was mainly verbal, so in terms of body language--don't nod your head, or smile every time she says something that seems like she wants compliance for.

- Sometimes it's important to neg in such a way where it seems like she's just too average in your normal everyday encounters. I do this by yawning when she starts telling me about her interests or hobbies. Even though she might be somewhat shocked with such a reaction, it will build more mystery in your own frame because you're bored by what she finds interesting. Chances are, if she's beautiful, she's not used to having a guy do this.

- After you're done telling a certain story or what not, leave something for her to take away. I'll give a smile that conveys "there is some type of pun/joke/riddle to what he just said...." It gives the HB the impression you know something that you're not going to just so easily let them in on like every other guy would.

Verbal Communication:

- Don't throw all your cards out on the table right away! This one is key, don't tell her immediately you like her. That's why Mystery favors indirect openers, if leaves her wondering why you're not attracted to her, and how she can pick you up.

- Ask her questions that she is not used to hearing. Here is a list of some of my favorite ones:
Code:
• What’s your favorite Dr. Seuss book? • What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? • What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking? • What’s your favorite web site? • What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? • What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? • Where were you on September 11, 2001? • What do you order when you eat Chinese food? • What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn? • What’s your least favorite word? • If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? • Would you state you were guilty of a crime you didn’t commit to free a loved one? • Where is your favorite place to sleep? Where is the strangest place you’ve ever slept? • At the beginning of a relationship, do you trust your new partner unless there is something specific to make you do otherwise, or do you withhold your trust until he or she has earned it? • Who do you think is the most beautiful person alive today? • If you could change one day in your life, not a single decision, but one pivotal day, which would it be? • Which month of the year do you think would best describe your personality. • If you could ask God any single question, what would it be? • If you could be invisible for one hour, where would you go and what would you do? • What do you remember about your first day at school? • If you could suddenly find out that one work of fiction was actually true, what book would you select? • Have you given any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say? • If you could travel into the future, how far would you want to go? • Do you think the world will be a better or a worse place 100 years from now? • Who is the most important person in your life? • Describe yourself in one word. • What is the meaning of marriage? • Are you attracted to people whose personalities are similar to yours or very different? • If you could undo one thing your parents did, what would it be? • Have you ever faked an illness to avoid doing something you didn’t want to do? • If you were to name the absolute best gift you ever received as a child, what would it be? • What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever done? • What are your talents/specialties/ what makes you unique? • If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? • If there is one thing that you could do for the rest of your life, what would it be? • What’s something weird about you? (They tend not to answer this one as much) • What do you do for fun, (besides school/work)? • What’s a significant event in your life? • What do you keep the most hidden? • What is your most vivid childhood memory?


- Tell stories that literally are mysterious. Tell her about the time you were studying at the beach at night, and found a shark tooth. On the back of the shark tooth you found your initials engraved into it. And at that moment, you felt regardless of all the mistakes you made in your life, you are where you are supposed to be. Now that's my story, tell your own lol. But if you must, fake it till you make it.

- Literally ask her, "what's something mysterious about you." After woman answer this, they always throw the question right back at you. When that happens, make sure you have a good answer.

- Now a demonstration of a unique skill/talent is a great way to convey mystery. For Mystery--VH1 PUA, it's magic. For myself, when I finally take them back to my place, I play them a song I wrote myself on the piano (similar to Beethoven's first movement). For you, maybe it's a painting, poem, lyrics, guitar, singing, an old photo album, a unique collection (sea glass, fangs from the world's most dangerous animals, etc.), a sculpture you made, etc. There are tons of way's of demonstrating mystery, figure out something unique about you and ask others you're more comfortable with if they find those things mysterious. If you come to the conclusion nothing about you is mysterious, then here is a self-improvement goal you can embark on that you'll be thankful you did when looking back one day: find something that you and a few others find mysterious, that you also find interesting, and learn it.

- Be willing to lose the girl, this is harder to explain. Hopefully you know what I mean.

- When you are making strong eye contact, ask questions like "if you were to make this moment something poisonous, what would be your poison?"

- Sometimes verbally rejecting a few girls in a room in front of your target will convey mystery; the HB will be wondering "why is he rejecting all these fairly attractive women?"

Hope this all helps. Good luck!


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:00 am 
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Yeah, wear a scarf. That's mysterious as fuck lol. Do it.

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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 9:46 am 
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Quote:
This is definitely a tough question to answer logically. I'll give it a go. I believe there are two very strong elements that are probably both equal in contributing to the "mystery" vibe: Body language and verbal communication.

Body Language:

- Present yourself physically with your clothing and style that does not say "he's like everyone else in the room." There is a reason why we think a magician or illusionist is mysterious. It's because the first impression (the 2 second sensory register impression) immediately conveys a different fashion sense than what we're used to seeing. When I try to think about the girls that I found mysterious, it's usually the ones that don't wear Abercrombie, Victoria's Secret, American Eagle, etc. But the girls that have a unique sense of style, I know artists are great with this. I go to school near RISD = Rhode Island School of Design, tons of artists go to this school, and so many of them give the mysterious vibe. They have a fashion that stands out uniquely, and I just want to figure them out.

- 1Don't act over interested in what she is saying. I think this may be one of the main issues when it comes to trying to be mysterious. I see guys too often "baiting and reeling," but never do I see guys casting them away. If you agree and act too amazed, you are too familiar in aspect to what she is already congruent with in her own frame of mind. Now what I said was mainly verbal, so in terms of body language--don't nod your head, or smile every time she says something that seems like she wants compliance for.

-2 Sometimes it's important to neg in such a way where it seems like she's just too average in your normal everyday encounters. I do this by yawning when she starts telling me about her interests or hobbies. Even though she might be somewhat shocked with such a reaction, it will build more mystery in your own frame because you're bored by what she finds interesting. Chances are, if she's beautiful, she's not used to having a guy do this.

- After you're done telling a certain story or what not, leave something for her to take away. I'll give a smile that conveys "there is some type of pun/joke/riddle to what he just said...." It gives the HB the impression you know something that you're not going to just so easily let them in on like every other guy would.
1. Why? At a certain point you better be showing her interest. People like to have people interested in them, so eventually they give up and find someone who will pay attention to them. To me this is absolutely terrible advice. Oh my God, this kills me. You know how to attract a woman don't you? Make her feel good around you. Make her laugh, listen to her, make her smile, and pay attention to her. These make woman feel good and because of this make you appear far more attractive, you make her feel good. Sheez, stop learning from Mystery. The thing Mystery tries to do is balance the status, or value in his direction, well the only time you need to lower their value or status is if you feel yours is lower. Why on earth would you ever feel your status or value is lower then theirs?

2. Oh my, this is such terrible advice. Yawn? Really, you are going to be a disrespectful prick? Pay attention, seduce them, man this stuff annoys me. Don't play needy but certainly don't act as if they own the upper hand because you pay attention to them. Negging is a terrible concept and I wish it would have never been invented. It is a ridiculous concept that only people lacking self esteem need, sure insulting happens but negging once again if you need these you are putting them above you and I ask why?

3. I think I understand what you are trying to say, which is exclamation point everything with a special smile. I agree with this. A charming smile does far more then a negg will ever do. A smile makes people smile and smiling makes people feel good.

You will get so much better relationships(friendships too) and have so many more people attracted to you with making them feel good. It disappoints me that so many people in pick up have to lower the other persons status or self esteem in order to feel above them. The neg is so much less powerful then the compliment. People need to learn to gain their own confidence(not confidence in a system) and they will be so much better off in life.

I'm not saying I'm this ridiculous guy with girls, I'm not Mystery or any of these Gurus but I can tell you the guys that are naturally good with girls do not have to use put downs. Making people feel good works so much better then lowering their self esteem to accommodate your low self esteem. The guys that I know are the best with PEOPLE, that have a large network and have a lot of girls around are guys that treat people with respect, and generally treat people good. These people who build tons of great relationships in life and have a high "mate" status among women aren't douches or assholes, they are guys that treat everyone they know with respect. PEOPLE LOVE TO HAVE THEM AROUND! People invite them to the special gathering, buy them drinks, want them at events. Being the asshole trying to nail every hot girl by negging them certainly doesn't broadcast as people loving you, just saying. You want to get invited to those cool parties, make yourself worth inviting.

Sorry for the rant but I am so sick and tired of people believing in these negs, yes poke fun, joke enjoy, but to me if you can't illustrate yourself as a high status "mate" you need to work on your self esteem, and hiding behind these negs isn't helping. If you have high confidence, then you don't need negs. Develop your confidence, don't delete theirs.[/b]

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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 7:47 pm 
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I supposed I should have added that you obviously need to calibrate this where applicable. The girl I met in the bookstore the other day who was just outgoing and talkative I have no reason to neg. But the girl I met at a club one day who was giving me the "you're seriously talking to me face," requires a neg. Sorry if you disagree with me, but the idea of a neg isn't to insult them, it's to disqualify yourself from being a potential suitor. Like substitute yawning for blowing your nose if you'd like.

I should have also added, don't fake it. I yawn when they are really boring me and I needed to yawn. But most people I know will try to hold in the yawn because they don't want to offend the person they're talking too. So if you really need to blow your nose, well then blow your nose.

On compliments: Sure, they're powerful, but at a certain point during the encounter. If you walk up and approach a girl with "you're so beautiful," results tend to be a lot less. Now if I do pay compliments, I make sure they're directed towards something a bit different. For example, "you have really soft hands, I like it."

One last thing on calibration--the things I posted above are more directed at night game (high energy) settings.

Now remember these methods aren't about picking up a girl, these methods are used to build more of a mysterious vibe about yourself. With that said, don't use every single tactic I posted on one girl, you really will get yourself blown out of a set for acting like an arrogant prick. CALIBRATE. A girl who is genuinely giving you a ton of IOI's you don't need to neg. A girl who is acting like she is the best shit to walk the Earth, and that you're a loser, neg.


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 8:50 pm 
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I'm not real big on negging myself, but the fact is some people need to be knocked down a peg. Women do it to men all the time, and never apologize for it. They're also a lot less subtle about it.


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