Escalating things sexually activates an "anti-slut defense mechanism", according to Mystery, whereby women don't want to be perceived as sluts for social reasons. David DeDeangelo, in turn, argues that women want men to have a reason for being attracted to them that isn't exclusively a physical attraction. One would infer this is to ensure they have a long-term mate.

Now, let's say you made the mistake of escalating things way too far too fast. Everything was going well... better than well even.. and now she's afraid, nervous and possibly even offended.

I get the impression this boils down to demonstrating a lack of respect for her. Would it be wise to tell her that I actually do find a lot of things in her personality attractive and, furthermore, that I have a lot of respect for her in spite of some of the things I say? This would all be the truth, I simply don't want to scare her off by getting too wishy-washy or serious.

Or would it be better I appear disinterested while raising my value and, once things heat up again, getting it right the next time? I've tried this when I made a mess the last time and it worked, but it... well, took rather a long time.

you care too much of what she thinks of you, be unapologetic. its important sometimes to not over escalate because it can scare women off but even if she gets freaked out you should remain chill and grounded in yourself dont react keep your cool, this is who you are a sexual being dont apologize or rationalize it, even if you look creepy dont apologize cause youd be supporting her reality of "this and what you are doing is weird" whereas it should be the other way around she should be accepting your reality and your interpretation of the interaction. if you look creepy doing something it means you have a desire for something and you shouldnt apologize or rationalize your desire as a man to go for what you want

Snilla has nailed it on the point where you care too much and shouldnt apolagize over that.

First of all: sexually speaking, there is no such a thing as a rushed scalation.
Not only you should, you MUST scalate things sexually ASAP. Read any of the nowadays material and you`ll see; every author is admiting that it is in fact a physical game, kino is the epic thing on the recepy, etc.

Having stated that, the kind of situation you can encounter and I imagine you did is if the girl feels unconfortable with your touch, rather than being the moment you did it the reason, I think its more likely that you are doing it wrong.

Read DiCarlo`s scalation ladder and embrace the concepts of incidental kino and direct kino. You will understand the reason behind a light kino in the beginning in order to make her feel comfortable, and the full kino once shes at that point.

Responding to your question, do not apologize for being a man, rather than do that, let her take the blame. Point at her with the subject and say something like: its all your fault, to me its a natural thing, I cant quit resist you. Dont blame me for acting on the feelings you wake in me.

This is probably one of the best moves Ive learned in the PUA community, girls love it.

Its simple, and leaves you in a perfect spot for keep doing your thing.

Hope I could be of some help =)

Powerful stuff, thanks guys. The hell with apologizing. I'm a man ffs. And I'll use that line - the frame it sets strikes me as daring but at the same time true to my instincts.

So kino is where it's at, and my poor results stem from doing it wrong. I'll definitely be looking into Vin DiCarlo's escalation ladder - is that in his "The Attraction Code"?

I'd like to add that the escalation was preceded by zero kino. We were vibing and I made a sexual comment on her appearance. Very sexual. With bad delivery. We're talking borderline creepy.

Creepy is good. Here Im sticking to 60 YOC material, and no, the scalation ladder is not in his code.

The ladder is really short, and you can acces it for free on google, its really short. I remember it being like 10 pages or so.

Check on it and you`ll improve your game big time applying it.

This is really interesting to me. I do think that you should care what she thinks if for no other reason she is a person. Doesn't mean that you should stop what you are doing but knowwhy she thinks will help you lead her past resistance. I also think that if you are spending time with her besides just screwing you should have a reason you enjoy it...
The longer I live theand the more I learn about charisma the more I think that it is actually good to say thank you, be grateful and friendly and share a little of your feelings about people. I'm not saying be mushy but if you have a sincere thing that you like about her don't you guys think it would be natural to share it?
I have also found this is more important with women into their 20s than it was years ago.

_________________
In this world of give and take...
There are not enough men willing to give what it takes.

My current outlook--open to scrutiny--is to BE SEXUAL. If a girl becomes uncomfortable it is probably because you fucked up. Check out Gambler on Youtube. He has an hour long video in which he demonstrates solid escalation. More importantly, however, is that you can always move on to another girl which, if you do properly, will escalate your value. Saying something playful and turning away from her to open another set she'll think, "Damn, he just wants to bang..." and this isn't a bad thing. The no-strings-attached image is a good one. Girls just want to bang too.

Thanks for that, I'll be checking out that video. I've read the Escalation Ladder e-book and wow, simple, but it gives you a completely different perspective on the whole process. I also found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV4A9KKjb3I Kino Escalation by Mystery and Lovedrop with a step-by-step demonstration.


How would you use overt sexual comments, if at all? If you were to tell a girl something outrageously sexual and unambiguous that involves her skirt, when would a good time be for it?

I was actually reading some online articles about what women consider "creepy" a few days back. It's funny, the word creepy has such a negative implement to it, yet when these women were asked WHY they thought a person was creepy, they couldn't give a definitive answer. Most of time it was "I just can't put my finger on it, he just gave off that vibe."

"Creepy" is entirely subjective, and most of the time women will only say that because a person's behavior is completely odd and foreign to them, so they don't know how to register it in their head.

_________________
Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

this question is subjective to congruence, and the particular girl you are interacting with, more or less, the sooner the better, but if you don't say what you say with full belief in it then she will challenge the congruence of your words and actions, hesitant and nervous = congruence will be tested, if you can not be sexual and have never done it before and you are unsure of yourself when you do go sexual more chance she thinks something is weird about it, if you wait a long time to escalate in any way she starts to develope an idea of what you are like the longer she knows you and you don't hit on her or sexualize things in any way, the more she will see you as a guy who is not sexual and doing so will seem incongruent to her

just like touching, the sooner the better, but it is good to test the waters as some girls are really comfortable with anything (rapid escalation), and others need to get comfortable with you first