hey guys, i put this in here, because we were sleeping together for two months so its probably mid game, but after that she LJBFd me (I think)

I'm going to make this as short as possible...

when i want to meet/ date a girl, its of course because i think shes hot at first and from there its whatever develops. no expectations. just have fun. sometimes sex, sometimes nothing, sometimes more.. all good... move on with whatever it was..
so here it is nutshell... basically met girl, went out a couple times, things escalated pretty quickly. sex on third date, but... she kept pushing me out right before she would orgasm. this started to become an issue with her after a month that she couldnt get off, but i was cool, i havent had problems in the past, and was confident she would let go and it would happen... we backed off from the sex a bit, i let her get comfortable, and it went from there.. until we tried again a couple weeks later... same results...
well eventually i started to like her.. (after about 2 months... she was pretty cool to hang with and we enjoyed a lot of the same things) and when i suggested that i was thinking that way, she backed out. basically told me that the prob she was having was that she didnt get excited by me and didnt want to sleep with me, and that there really wasnt a very good connection..
now truthfully it had been a while for me (crazy with work and traveling *killed* my dating life for several months before her), so i was a little physically needy, but i was honest with her that there were other reasons i enjoyed her company and that i had no problem with patience, just was finishing up a tough stretch... but more importantly she had seemed always excited to see me and had spent the night several times, with or without sex, and my friends (male and female) all thought she was in to me, even one time a week before she left me she texted me "seems like i havent heard from you in a while, not a good thing" when i didnt text or call her for 2 days

so, she basically said it wouldnt work. left it that we could be friends but she didnt want to be sleeping with me. we could hang out but she wouldnt stay over or give me the chance to make it happen. and she really didnt think her opinion would ever change. so...
i backed off for about two weeks to give her some space.. and i am eventually going to start talking to her again as friends.. she was cool, why not?.. but what do you think about down the road doing stuff with her again and seeing if things change? i know women often change their minds, but is it true that once they make a decision about a guy like that its over?

thanks.

simple answer. yes you can get her back and get out of the "friends zone"

i like to look at the friends zone as an illusion. theres a good article about it somewhere on the forum.. women like to think they can put u in a "just friends" category but you dont have to follow their rules.

in my own experience i have gotten out of the friends zone with 2 very different girls.

i was having sex with this one girl but she insisted we had to stop. she still wanted to be friends and hang out but we cant be hooking up she said.

i got some advice from guys on the forum and the common consensus was to ignore these statements of hers and to keep having sex with her thus making her hooked.

now this isnt a full blown tutorial, just a few points i can think of off the top of my head.

this is what i followed:
1. dont let it affect you. dont be cold because of her.
2. KINO. alot
3. still be flirty and sexual
4. dont act like a boyfriend. NO FEELINGS, dont talk about them, dont think about them. dont think about talking about them. "i dont need to have feelings now, i can think about them later" <-- keep that mentality
5. following number 4, dont be needy. let her initiate contact with you 90% of the time. leave her hanging. take time to get back to her if not ignoring her sometimes.
6. dont be jealous.

At this point, i didnt talk to her unless she contacted me or unless she deserved it. I acted like nothing happened and we were still friends. Kept up with the kino and dropped subtle hints that i was seeking other girls.

invited her to be my wing girl at a singles party. this baffled her. put up some flirty facebook statuses.

she began seeking attention a lot more, texting all the time.. and she would compliance test me. be careful, shes going to want you to chase her.

she began telling me about other guys alot. when she tells you about some other guy asking her out, tell her to go for it! and dont be jealous or pissed about it. be completely indifferent and happy. never be scourned.

just let her go. make her do the work if she wants something. be almost jerk like when she asks things of you. it works lol. she has to earn your compliance. when she shit tests you, basically do/say the opposite of what she would expect you to say. it drives them crazy.

do all of this along with a little DHV, push pull, and you should be set.

eventually she should be sleeping over again and begging for you to sleep with her. thats my experience, hope this is useful

wow. ok.

this is a completely new area for me. in the past, if it didnt work, i just let it go, but part of getting this area of my life handled was deciding that i would go after what i want and not just accept what life gave me.

i may need some very base level coaching in this because this is completely out of my working zone. if you are willing to spend the time helping me learn this new skill i would greatly appreciate it.

a couple general questions:
1) why did she say she didnt want to sleep with you (doesnt really matter i guess, just info)
2) how long did that whole process take for you to get back in her bed (for calibration)

there are also some basic logistical issues with this situation that sound like they might be different than yours

i would like to work through some possible solutions to those issues which would keep the frame you are setting here..

look forward to chatting..

1. she said she didnt want to sleep with me because of the same reasons. cuz she didnt wanna have any commitments and didnt wanna be with me at the time. just take things slow. cuz we were supposed to be just friends

we didnt talk for a few days after that. u have to be unaffected by it. shell take a little break. sounds like u already had ur break with her. and she started talking to me again. or else its okay for u to talk to her

keep up your sexual frame. still invite her out for drinks or over to your place for a get together or w/e. KINO and start flipping her attraction switches. show her that you pre-selected by women so she knows shes made a choice and she could lose you at any time. introduce her to your girl friends. DHV.

On a night when you dont hang out, next day send her a text like "omg youll never believe what happened last night!!! lol"
her - "huh? what?"
you - "oh sorry.. wrong person ha. how are you?"

if shes aware that your out n about living an intersting life and have other women in your life her mind will wander and shell beg for you to tell her. little stuff like this all combined at the right time should flip her switches.

dont be needy, leave her hangin when she tries to get a hold of you. take ur time to get back to her. it should be here contacting you 90% of the time, you to her 10%.

2. during that first week or so she noticed i was different. she was practically begging for attention, just to see if i still wanted her. but you have to be indifferent. this works wonders.

we continued to hang out, had her over for lunch once or twice. i think less than 3 weeks later we went out one night n i had her in bed again. after that we were hooking up quite often. like once or twice a week. til she got really clingy n a lil crazy, i started to lose attraction for her. then i ljbf'd her lol. were all cool now n she still asks me to hook up from time to time but im not interested in her anymore for a relationship

and remember, ur not supposed to be cold to her. u never get mad or upset. just let things go and when you do talk ur still a friendly, funny, cocky, confident, dominant, sexual guy. but still kinda hard to get cuz u have options

now when was the last time you talked? and how are you guys currently?

ONE THING

Freeze the bitch out.. i was stuck in the same situation. freeze out for two weeks, one month even or even 2 weeks. If you already banged her she will def call u back or message you within that time. if she doesn't, i will give you my address and phone number and give you liek $500... Girls say one thing and mean the other. ITs 100 percent true.. i was banging a girl that had a boyfriend of 3 years. she'd always say we need to stop seeing each other but guess who's the one that always came back (when she saw me exerting energy on other girls). the truth is girls don't know what they want, so u cant really control it.. All u can control is what you want.. So always want two things.
a.) more girls
b.) none of their bullshit

but seriously, if u already f closed her she'll come back to u like a hungry dog after a piece of steak. even if you smell funny, have a 3 incher, and she hates your guts she'll come back if you just drop her. by drop i mean pretend that she doesn't exist. Freeze her out for a month at least. Even if she tries getting back to you earlier than you expect, ignore her calls.. its gonna be tempting not to, but after you see her reaction after it, it will all be worth it.... all u need is patience... so work it with other girls and get ready to be her master when she comes crawling back to you... \

And some PUAs will tell u, don't neglect her too much, she might lose interest. The truth is, if you already F closed her more than once, she'll never lose interest. The only one that might is you..

ALSO NEG HER ABOUT BEING A DEAD FISH DURING SEX (after u start talking to her agaain).. Even give her the nickname fishy. it will fix your social frame and it will give her something to prove...

Since she gave me the "talk", we had 3 contacts.

I texted her the following morning and told her I slept on it and understood better where she was coming from (when she told me, I suggested we be f-buddies as friends... it was a little pathetic. had to cover) [no reply]

texted her a week later, told her "sorry been out of touch but did some unintentional body work on the car and was kindof busy with that" - true, had an accident 2 days after "talk"
-- she replies pretty quick - casual, told abiout some guy creeping her out at work
-- told her id be coming in more and she could pretend i was her bf if she needed it

that was a week ago, i have not contacted, working on distancing my emotions and determining if i want to do a complete freeze or stop by like i did before and use the opp to display my personality.

I'm not sure how to get her to spend time with me as friends because we did mostly datey stuff together, and just interacting at work will give her little chance to show any IOIs or get her switches flipped.

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Now I know if a girl was really into me, she would *definitely* contact me eventually, but if she held out from letting herself get the *O* before, would that still apply?

* and thanks for all the advice guys. im really trying to get this into my reality..

sorry.. meant to say 2 contacts

(and fake bf thing was from previous joke/ thing we had before)

well, under the category of "well whaddya know?... "

the girl i was with before this girl just texted me. with her it was basically the same thing.. she needed space.. but with her she was cumming several times when we fucked.

when she cooled it out, i AFCd on her and chased a bit.. not pathetic, but definitaly a little needy. then i just stopped all contact. completely stopped contacting her.

so it took about 25 days for her to text me. it was just a nonchalant 'how are you'.

so how do i start this when she starts initiating contact again? i still think im struggling with the concept.. lol

i am not sure how to balance the freeze with the push/pull conecpt (where you dont want to push too much and blow her out)

i am thinking going forward i will wait until she contacts me 3 times before i reply, for each reply, no matter how long that takes, but for the first contact from her, do you wait a few days, then send "hey i was busy but how are you" to hook her into to thinking she has a chance or do you start the 90%/10% right away?

so i think im going to try the complete freeze on her and the partial "be cool, but see if i can get closer as friends" on the other girl from starbucks and see how each work.

any thoughts?

But SHE had problems in her past . . .

You are no match for her past. Nobody is. What is it with us guys and our needs to solve problems? This is her problem, not yours. Go with the girl with the habit of driving your cock deeper into her vagina.

Or if you really want to try ...

First Step (this is for the first time she call/text you);
She text you - reply one or two hour after... (never a meeting organized by txting)
She call you - Tell her you'll call back in 15 minutes... call her back 20 hours after



Second Step (when you call her back 20h after) ;
You call her back - Ask what she want, Don't go around the corner, do it directly like She is the one bothering you. (At one point of being tired of your rejection, she will want to see you)
Don't accept the first time, the second time you tell her that you accept because she insited too much...( try to get a BF/GF night, going to take a coffe to talk, take a walk or a ride in YOUR car)

******************
PREPARATION FOR THE SECOND STEP

-Take a picture of a HB friend of your's/porn star on the net (your choice)
-create a new contact called BOOTY CALL #3
-Put the number of one of your friend/wingman in the contact

-Tell your friend/wing to call you if you text him those words; -So you wanted to see me today? And tell him to say nothing when he'll call (make sure she see you texting)

-----------------
Trouble shooting;

-she ask you who you are texting - ''you don't have to know/None of your bussines/Someone...
-She ask you if she is the BOOTY CALL #1 - ''No!''
**********************


THRID STEP

(based on the spread movie)
When your friend calls you, you say the words and tell the girl you need to go/drive her home.
-''Yeah,[pause] Yeah,[pause] Alright, i'll be there in a minute''

Stay evasive on the awnser about who it was on the phone...



FOURTH STEP

SHE wil call you, text you, want to see you,

... Your in!

ok.. so with the one who *does* want to f me... she texted me fri (after 25 day freeze out)

so i texted her back last night.. figured it was a week, but my thinking was too much push.. no reply might have made her give up..

she texts back.. "things good. took a while..."

i seem to get that question asked directly of me every time i tried waiting/ freeze lately...

any good answers for that? obviously i dont want to say " i was yanking your chain " but i dont want to give the impression i was just busy w work...

okay.. opening the floor..

i also learned the 3 rule on freeze texts.. once you reply, let her reply once, you reply once, and on her next reply, no response .. freeze starts again

seems to work best.. if you reply again, she seems to sense shes back in and doesnt reply..

anway.. "what took you so long" responses..

and btw, Road_kill.. that is a great setup above.. ill try that when i get the chance and let you know how it goes..

lol kasabi

well only do it if she's worth it, i had a GF which looked nice but she really was a bitch ( egocentric because of her problems ) I was like fuck her and her problems and told her those problems were not my problems.
if i talked to her about problems she was suddenly being nice but when i talked about myself or something else she broke of the convo, if i dominated her in convo's she suddenly came up with excuses about her ex and her problems......

Only do it with girls which are really worth the effort , if you find out your ex-GF was a coke snorting manipulative lying -victimizing bitch you shouldn't talke to her at al because she's probably using you.
don't allow people to abuse you or take advantage of you, love yourself first.

i often have this zen approach of not manipuating anyone , not making someone jealous to create attraction and so forth or '' be friends to get into her pants'' because i really believe that's a bad idea.
But when you already decided to get her back and so forth you should be ruthless without expectations, there is no correct or wrong here this is your life.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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