Alright, so I met a girl on the bus a little over a month ago. It was about 2-3 minutes before the last stop, so I went up to her and thought of the first thing I could to open her, which was "Are you taking any math classes?" (We were at a college, so I figured why not). So we talked for a bit until the bus pulled up to the stop, at which point, we traded email addresses so I could send her the math stuff (I tried to go for a phone number, but she said she didn't have one, so I didn't push it).

So I send her the math stuff, and since she was in Computer Science, I added a little joke about taking over the world with programming. Just as some background, I'm passionate about improving transportation, and some of my friends have said I should become a politician. So I played into that and got her asking some questions (again, though email).

So a couple of nights later, over spring break, we had a conversation through GChat. I think I might've put a little too much out there and ruined some of the mystery (I sent her a video of a time when I was on the news for fighting for transportation). I tried a couple of times to think of excuses to meet up with her (I asked if she was good at chess, and she was actually on the chess team at one point, so I said we should meet up and have a match). And then another thing was that I asked if she wanted to help me fight for better transportation (I put up videos of my friends and other neighborhood residents who I convinced to speak at the transit agency's public hearings, just to show it would be a nice, cool experience). I did a little playful thing of how "Everybody's life needs the right amount of craziness". (That whole transit experience had a bunch of crazy stuff in it, and I described a little of it, but held back enough that I would still have tons to talk about on an actual date).

So no dice on either of them. So eventually, I ended the conversation and said I had to wake up early the next day, and figured that since my birthday was coming up around 3 weeks later (the beginning of May), I'd wait to see if she remembered. Well, she did and sent me a "Happy Birthday" email, so that's definitely a good sign.

So I thanked her, and then a couple of days ago, I sent her another email basically saying "Good luck on finals next week", since we both have finals. She replied and talked about how busy it was for her as well, but said thanks.

So her birthday is actually next week, so I'm planning on sending her an email. (Nothing special, really. I do that with most of my friends, both male and female if I don't actually see them on their birthday).

So I talked to one of my friends who organizes get-togethers, and asked him if he could organize something where I could invite this girl so there's no pressure of just being one-on-one. Something like seeing a movie and then hanging out afterwards, so there's no pressure. (There's usually other girls in his get-togethers).

Any other ideas/suggestions? It's kind of weird of how this is very similar to the process of online dating, except that it began with a very brief physical encounter (and like I said, looking back, I don't think there was anything I could've really done to extend the process).

Why does it feel to me.. that everything you are doing here is trying to show her you're not a sexual threat?

Chess matches?

Organize an event so you're not one on one? Why?

Because every time I brought up the idea of hanging out one-on-one, she ended up avoiding the question. And every time I mentioned dating (even in general), she avoided the topic. Remember she initially didn't even want to give me her phone number, so I'm trying to make it palatable for her to hang out with some random new guy.

Nothing about anything you are doing says " I have any sexual attraction to you" nothing says " I sexually interested in you" of any kind.

Basically the only thing you are communicating is that you would like to help her through school and provide her with opportunity to change the world. And thats cute, but if you're actually looking to establish an intimate relationship with the girl this probably isn't the route you want to take.

Now,

this post is old.. so before I continue how did her birthday email/meet up turn out?

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

She basically said thanks and wished me luck on my finals, since it was finals week for both of us.

Then I sent another message talking about a new job that I just got hired at in construction (I made a joke about how I got sunburned, but it was still great), and asked how her Memorial Day was, and got a fairly standard response.

Yeah.....writing that out is making me see the problem....She can carry the conversation once started, but for the most part, I'm still the one initiating. (The only things that can really count as her actually initiating anything were her sending the GChat invite, and her sending me the Happy Birthday email)

I'm stumped now. I'm almost tempted to say something to the effect of "This is getting boring and difficult to keep up now. We're going to need to meet up in person to keep talking about this". Needless to say, the intention is to meet up with her in person (or else I obviously wouldn't be posting here). If I were looking for an online penpal friend, I'm sure there's plenty of websites dedicated to that.

Any advice on particular ways to phrase it? If it's worth anything, I've had a couple of male friends that I've met online (discussion boards) where we're real-life friends, so maybe if I can work that into conversation, it'll work. (Also, for what it's worth, there's a few people from those online forums where I'm perfectly happy leaving it as an online relationship, but our discussions are an extension of what we discussed on the forums, and I don't consider those people actual "friends").

I almost didn't give advice because I can tell you can see what's wrong with this picture.

But maybe you need someone to point it out to you anyway since you're "stumped"


First thing's first...this quote...
You're aware how this makes you look right?

It makes you look like you aren't interesting, it brings your value down and she's the one taking it away from you. It's great she keeps the conversation going, but that isn't exactly meaning she's missing you. And it's also a waste of time on your part since you aren't getting a meetup at all....so you're just blabbing on pointlessly.

And friends hang out...what's the big fucking deal? Does this girl think you have cooties? Like the fuck?

She doesn't even seem like she wants to be anything you want, definitely not anything intimate...hell she doesn't even want to be friends lol


Alright how are you going to address these issues? This is how....

First make yourself more interesting, make yourself not as available, don't text her for a couple days and see if she even initiates anything.

When you do have a conversations make them more brief. And lastly DON'T GET CAUGHT UP WITH THIS BITCH....GAME OTHERS

If you do want to hang out just say...we should hang out sometime then see what she says and if she makes excuse after excuse even when you are going to hang out around others then that's a RED FLAG, but I would definitely raise your value before that.

And even if it's not one on one? Who gives a shit?

Once you do get together in person it will make her more comfortable unless you meet up and fuck everything up by pressing her or just not knowing how to approach the situation.

PM me if you need anymore advice, be happy to help. Good luck!

Do NOT send a message like that of any kind.



‎ What do women want? Thats question number one. And if you don't know the answer you'll find yourself in this situation a lot more than a lil bit. 

Women want a man's full investment, attention, and focus. And once they get it the games over. They don't give us what we want just because we gave them what they want. Say for example, I offered you a brand new car for free. You would jump in ‎and drive off in it. You wouldn't give me money for it unless I required you to. 

This is how women keep orbiters and " text buddies" that are constantly trying to hang with the women to no avail. Unless she's bored enough to finally give it she isn't hanging out with the guy texting her all the time without getting a meet up because she's already got and she already getting what she wants from him. 

Your hear. What does she gain from hanging out with you in addition to what she already is? Not much. YOU get to gain. And until you require she does.. why would she willingly begin giving things away when it's not necessary.  

Don't return her next two text and she'll begin switching up her tone. This is not something you say, it's something you sub-communicate with your actions. ‎" If you don't hang with me, if you don't give back, you're going to miss and opportunity with an amazing guy, because i'm going to leave you and go for someone else. " 

I wrote an article titled ‎"Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman " in the PUA lounge section of the forum.

It will add to this message. 

Peace & Love

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

I agree with Eddie Fews

There was some similarities to our response, but also yes sending a message like that is horrible. It makes a bad situation worse and saying that the conversation is boring is like wtf

I understand what you are trying to get at, but she will think that you are just making an excuse to talk face to face WHICH YOU ARE and she will think that you're an asshole since it's so poorly worded.

The following advice from Eddie Fews is awesome and usually I don't say that, but yeah definitely remember the following. This is CONFIDENCE.
Right now by spending time with you she has nothing to profit as harsh as that sounds.

Good luck.

Thanks guys.

Alright, so stupid question: Some friends of mine are planning on seeing a new movie in mid-July. Let's assume (worse-case scenario), that she doesn't respond at all until then. Assuming of course, that I haven't solidified anything with any other girls by then (again, worse-case scenario), I wouldn't have anything to lose by inviting her along with the group, right? And then if she can't even accept that, then drop her pretty much.

I don't think the worse-case scenario is likely, though, because she responds a bit quicker than I do (she'll usually get back within a few hours, and when she doesn't she qualifies herself). With me, I take anywhere from a few hours to 2-3 days, and believe me, I'm legitimately busy and have a lot more things of higher priority that it's not even a "strategy" of any type.

Anyway, I'll let you guys know how it goes.