Hej,

Yesterday night I dated a colleague of work. However, I have been friend zoned and I am wondering how I could handle a particular situation. This message doesn't focus specifically on this girl; I just don't want to be trapped with her or another girl in this following situation:

Yesterday, we were at her apartment. We prepared together a diner while drinking wine. All night long, I felt like being her psychologist because she started talking to me about her family's problems, work's problems and then her ex-relationship's problems. I had tried few times a subject transition, however it has only worked few minutes until she came back talking about her f*c**** problems.

How can I, without being too rude, telling her I don't intend spending all night long doing psychologist's work, i.e. listening to her about how her life sucks.

Thanks,

_________________
- Reywal

Some thoughts about the "generic girl" situation:

- let her know from the start that your interest in her is sexual; unless the girl is a total social retard she will not go on and on about how her life is shitty but will put on the "I'm cool mask"
- escalate physically when you get into an one to one situation (your place or hers); you have nothing to lose other than get a "But I thought we were just friends" plus either "you will have to leave now" or "I'm leaving now" (depending on logistics); beats going through the "Thursday night psychologist" dinner...
- if and when she tries to talk about her shit, tell her "If you keep this up, I will charge you by the hour"; if she keeps going on, either this was her agenda (getting a guy to listen) or you didn't make the evening interesting enough for her to think about going to town on you rather than vent about her shit
- if escalation and telling her to stop doesn't work, you should cash in your chips and leave for the night

and one thought about the "specific girl" situation:

- her being a coworker limits the "risk" you can take; unlike with a random chick, you should treat her with kid gloves in order to avoid backlash after the date is over... last thing you want is her badmouthing you to your other coworkers about going caveman on her when you were only out as friends...