Date fail. How to fix those leaks?



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:20 pm 
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I had a "date" today with a girl from okc. We talked for about 10 days before setting up a date finally and we had nice thing going on...nothing sexual though. She is 2 years older (31) so i made assumption she will see right through my AFC bullshit (which only made me more nervous ofc). Also turns out she is hotter live then on pictures.

Good things:
- made her laugh a lot
- 7/10 for eye contact (missed some key moments)

Bad things:
-infrequent nervous moments, bad convo skills sometimes
-she was real chatty and I didn't lead conversation

So, here is how it went and things I want to address. We enter a caffe bar, there was only one booth left, so she goes there, sits first right next to the wall and PUTS HER HUGE FUCKING BAG BETWEEN US. So, I sat right next to the bag. And first thing that imprinted in my mind was...I cannot kino escalate over the fucking bag, IT WILL BE WEIRD AND CREEPY. So I kinoed with hand maybe once, tried a bit with leg but it was hard...bag was too huge and I was constantly becoming self-aware that I am attempting to force kino. What to do here? Remove bag? Kino over bag? :S

Lets skip to verbal shitstorm i handled poorly:
- she found it awkward/unreliable that I play poker for living. This is a standard thing for me coming from most girls. They literarly make a face that says:"Oh, you play poker. Thats so weird and unreliable and I could never be with a guy like you." While at the same time they know nothing about it and have a shitty job that pays 700$/month. And I often find myself justifying what I do to them. How to handle this properly?

- she berated me repeatedly for going to show of some singer she thinks is horrible and in response all I could think of was to berate some of hers which I found awful. I find this pretty bad though...what to do about this?

- what to do when she mentions that some other guys are pretty. Like, she said that town X has lots of handsome guys.

- I had 0 sexual energy (lots of anxiety though) and have no clue how to verbally create sexual tension (especially when kino seems awkward because of fucking bag). All tips and examples are welcome.

- We mentioned few unrealistic plans for future meetings, but very vague. When we went out and parted ways there was 0 kino and I made no real plans for future date. Just said bye and went separate directions complimented with smalltalk. How would you handle this given the rest of the evening?


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:11 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2013 9:50 pm
Posts: 2864
Quote:
i made assumption she will see right through my AFC bullshit (which only made me more nervous ofc).
You won't feel as AFC if you start doing pickup in the flesh (I am assuming this date was from online). But either way, give yourself positive reinforcement at all times and drop the negative beliefs about yourself.
Quote:
sits first right next to the wall and PUTS HER HUGE FUCKING BAG BETWEEN US.
With a smooth attitude say, 'what is this? get this bag out of here i agreed to going on a date with YOU not a bag.' And move the bag yourself or make sure she moves the bag (OR WALK FROM THE DATE if she doesn't move the bag). Always be willing to walk. If you get up to leave believe me she will move the bag (and have loads of respect for you and work to keep you next to her so you don't get up to leave again).
Quote:
she found it awkward/unreliable that I play poker for living.
She doesn't really care what you do. You don't have to answer every question a girl asks. You can add color to what you do; you can say you work online (which is true if it's online poker that you play); if it's online poker you can say 'I push a few buttons on my keyboard a few times a week and then I get a check'. Make yourself a mystery. They don't really care. They're just making conversation. If there's chemistry, if you're confident in yourself and make them feel good, they will want to fuck and that's all it comes down to.
Quote:
- she berated me repeatedly for going to show of some singer she thinks is horrible
Don't accept her frame. Literally laugh her off. Why do you care about the opinion of some girl you barely know at all? I think by this point in the date she had lost some interest or she wouldn't have done this.
Quote:
- what to do when she mentions that some other guys are pretty. Like, she said that town X has lots of handsome guys.
Go with it. Don't be jealous. Be like "have you been to Miami? My friend Kara was there last month and she said she got wet just walking down the street from all the hot guys around."

Bottom line: Relax and have fun. Life is a game, so enjoy it.


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