Hey guys,

So, I met a really cool girl at salsa last week and have been trying to hook up with her.

After the course, we all stayed for some drinks at a nearby pub and got to know each other a bit. She told me she really loves traveling with a backpack to exotic destinations. Her last trip was to Mexico with her sister, so I don't think she has a bf or anything. I used this topic as an opportunity to tell her how I am fascinated by Japan and am planning to go there next year. She seemed very interested and was listening with a bit of "admiration". Then, some other people joined the discussion and she disappeared out of the blues without saying bye to anyone.

I found her on the salsa class' facebook group and told her it was nice chatting with her and that we should go to more salsa classes together. Also told her that she left before we could exchange contact details (I gave her my phone number using this pretext).

She replied within 3-4 hours with the following text:

"Hey there. yes, it was indeed nice meeting you yesterday and talking to you. I like people who have a passion like you for Japan.
Yeah, I left quite quickly. Sorry. I suddenly felt super tired. Not sure I wanna go to the other party tonight…
Sure, let me know about the salsa
Enjoy the rest of your weekend."

No phone number of course...

Anyway, I texted her again yesterday to tell her that this will be my last weekend before I leave for holidays and that I wanted to visit some cool Japanese pagodas in the city outskirts. Of course, I invited her to join me.

Again, it didn't take her too long to reply. She replied:

"Hi. it's a great idea but I will be in "x city" this weekend. Sorry
Will you leave "city we live in"? For how long?
Take care and see you soon."


So, do you guys think I am on to something or is it a waste of time?

Also, I leave on holidays for 3 weeks, so she might forget about me after so long. Shouldn't I leave a lasting impression on her? I know she lives in the same neighborhood. Should I invite her for after-work drinks in my reply to her last message or will it seem too desperate?

Thanks a lot in advance for your advice, mates.
Cheers!

shes deffinately curious, but its not that strong yet, make sure not to get to greedy needy with this one to fast, shes basically giving the oh of course sure response SPAM like shes not really focused, but shes not really ignoring you either so theirs a modest interest level.

Thanks a lot man, that helps!

I went for the push-pull technique and decided to push her off for the time being. I replied with a very short text where I pushed aside the issue of the Japanese pagodas and stated where I am going for holidays and that I can't wait to leave.

That should do for now. I am thinking of re-initiating in September with just a " hey xxx, I have come back from country x. It was really cool relaxing at the coast all this time How have you been?"

However, I suspect she will reply with something vague and will leave it up to me to invite her somewhere.

She's a little interested, did you make your Intentions clear when you were talking to her? You could be friendzoned. This is why you can't be ambiguous, unless you are just being flirty and want to put her in your friendzone (which is actually awesome). Be direct, make it unambiguous and clear you are attracted to her an unafraid to show it.

Also, I hate "text game". Text is for logistics and initial contact establishment after first meetings if you can't call. Your first message is ok, however saying "we should hang out" is weak, saying "you are fun/sexy/cool/anything positive, send me a message when you want to hang out/party/whatever!" Is much better, why? 1. Again it's unambiguous, you like her an want to hang again 2. It's totally non-needy, you have basically said "I like you but if you don't like me I'm not all that bothered and I won't chase you."

If I was in your situation I'd just not message her again and continue going to salsa lessons. Next time you see her, walk up give her a big hug like she's an old friend you really missed, kiss her on the cheek and go from there. Her interest is sparked, you need to show her you like her and aren't afraid.

What you don't want to do now is chase her. Never fkn chase.