Before I approached the set (3 set of girls, all sisters), I was observing their body language. They were all just sitting on this huge chair-like thing while watching what was going on around them like cats. It was weird that they were just observing their environment because an Indonesian-themed party was going on around them! What's there
not to do at such an event where a lot of people are simply living life while trying out new things? But in this case, though, the sisters' body language read "we're so bored", so I took this as an opportunity to approach them and make something happen.
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Before qualifying, make sure your own icebreaker/opener and DHV is genuine and engaging enough that she wants to contribute something to the conversation. Your results will increase.
I chose to do a situational opener. It was about these three hookahs being set up and how they were meant for display only rather than recreational use. I was going off on how pointless and misleading the whole idea was, and the girl was just agreeing with me. I guess I should've tried something harder...
I also DHV'ed with a mind-blowing card trick. They were all really impressed, but their impressed-ness quickly dropped to level zero by the time the trick was finished and the awkward silence came in. Even before then, one of the girls wanted me to read her palms (I already told them what I did for a living, but apparently my lifestyle was just so much more awesome than theirs because all they told me was that they go to
whatever school in
whatever state), so to rid the silence, I brought the palm reading thread back to the girl, but she didn't want to do it anymore. I egged her on (bad move!), but she still politely declined. That's when I brought up the question that I posted on this post to begin with.
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Try talk to her friends, if they all do the same thing move on, if not you the first girl had some other issue and its not your fault.
The sisters were just being plain with me. Like I said before, maybe my opener wasn't powerful enough to elicit positive reactions. If they were all sisters, their parents wouldn't be too far off, and my call was right: the parents took pictures of the four of us. Whereas I took the camera in like no big deal, the sisters were embarrassed. I guess these girls don't know how to enjoy themselves, so I said, "Well, it was nice meeting you all", shook their limp hands, and returned to my table of cousins and aunt and uncle. I actually had
more fun with them than with the girls!
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Your conversation is a very forced, unnatural stinted interview. Opening up about yourself and giving her something to latch onto is far better with the occasional question to stop it being a monologue. Just plow and work on your eye contact, kino etc. If she likes your aura, it doesn't fucking matter what you say, she will think everything you say is awesome. Tell her something you've noticed about her instead, girls love that shit.
Normally, I don't ask interview questions. If the interaction with the girl I'm talking to is very well-received, then I just ride the conversation smoothly and naturally; nothing seems forced. However, I feel like I need to do interview questions
if and only if I feel like the girl is struggling to make the conversation work, which is why I asked her if she could sing or dance or whatever. But if that doesn't work, I can always talk more about myself until the girls are finally interested. In fact, that's what I'm currently working on right now: trying to make life a little more interesting so that others would want to join in, too.
I absolutely have no problem with eye contact. It's the kino that I need to work on, for I've done very little during the course of the interaction. I did, however, tell the girls a bunch of stuff about myself: I'm a certified bartender looking for a lounge; I can sing and play the guitar; I can read palms; I'm studying nutritional sciences as my major and biochemistry as my minor; and I can do card tricks. And yet,
these girls didn't even bother to ask questions about these. I felt like I was getting myself into a one-sided conversation.
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First of all, ask less, talk more. Second, if you ask, get her attached to the topic you're asking about...
"Do you have a true passion? How does it make you feel when you're doing it?"
I've learned somewhere on the forum that the conversation is 90% me talking, 10% girl talking (or something like that). Yeah, I'd be talking to the girl passionately about what I do, what my goals in life are, and other things, but I'd hit a brick wall if I just spewed out my life story while the girl rebuttals, "I'm such a boring person!" or "I don't know what my passions are!" Then again, is there a difference between girls being
challenging and girls being
boring?