Hey everyone. 3 weeks ago while at a friends patio party I met a HB and got her number. We have talked on the phone a few times and texted. I set up day 2 and things were going great until I (accidentally) screwed up.

One day we went out to a bar for another mutual friends birthday. Somehow people starting telling lame jokes. When it got to my turn I told one I had heard on a TV show: "If girls with big boobs work at hooters, where do girls with one leg work at? IHOP!" Except she didn't laugh and she immediately got up and left. I ran after her and when I caught up she told me off. I had no idea what was happening and when I asked she rolled up her pant leg and I saw that she had a prosthetic leg. I didn't know she had one but she was all like upset and like didn't you see my pictures on Facebook? I had added her one Facebook but never bothered to look at her profile. I found out from other people there that she was in the army and lost her leg in Afghanistan. I knew she was in the army but didn't know about her leg.

I tried to text her to apologize but she told me she never wanted to talk to me again and forget about ever seeing her again. She was under the impression that I knew since she added me on Facebook. I found out from other mutual friends that she is very self conscious about it still. She doesn't like to talk about it and she added me on Facebook so I would see. I truly didn't mean to offend her. I just want to fix it and make things better with her. But it's been a week and she won't even talk to me. Help!

Brother this is one of those moments that you wish you could take back. she's obviously really mad about it whether it was intentional or not. The best thing you can do is give it a few weeks. Dont text her dont call her. After a few weeks send her a text. Nothing fancy, dont bring up what happened. If she brings it up. Tell her you were sorry for what you said but you got caught up with whateveryone else was doing but your trying to do your own thing now. Biggest thing here whether you get her back or not, never go with the crowd. You want to be original, you want to stand out from the crowd

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ha ha ha that is an awesome story..what an awkward moment it must have been.. i have no advice for you..but, i will go up to random girls and ask them about what they think about your story..if i get good advice and laid at the same time, then this could be a win win..

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you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!

unfortunately what you have to learn here is not how to get a woman back when you have offended her, but not to make stupid jokes like that. It really is a truly bad joke, and should not be told. Many times I have put off women and made them uninterested, I too will try to save the situation and sometimes cannot, and have to face the hard reality that the behavior I had exhibited was pitiful and should be stricken from my personality. I think what you need to do right now is not only never tell that joke again, but make an inventory of potentially harmful behaviors such as that one. Do what is called a SWOT analysis. This is when you go over your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. What you need to be focusing on when you do this are your weaknesses and threats, and how they can be exorcised, or transmuted into strengths and opportunities. Behaviors like bad joke telling, being negative, offensive, or just not conscientious socially will not only screw things up with one woman, but many. YOu must inventory your behaviors with a swot analysis and be practicing socially conductive ones. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions.

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"You are only as good as you try to be"


-Sexual Sorcerer
Relationship Specialist
www.truelifedevelopment.com/true-life-relationships/

@Dutchstyles99 & @Sexualsorcerer: Good advice!

@harperc: "Primum non nocere" is a Latin phrase that means "first, do no harm." One of the principal precepts of medical ethics; "given an existing problem, it may be better NOT to do something, or even to DO NOTHING, than to risk causing more harm than good".

I don't know you, but you may want to consider that you are not mature/experienced enough to handle this situation well, and should forget taking ANY action, as it may simply cause her more pain. If you feel you can do good (and NO harm) then do so, but give her some time first... Then PERHAPS tell her that you realise how awful and immature the joke was, that you don't have much sense when it comes to telling jokes, and you hope that one day she may forgive you. Expect her to take a VERY LONG TIME to even reply. Perhaps years. Good luck!

For your benefit alone: This may ease/increase your pain if things don't work out, but of course DON'T show this to her. >>> UK TV show "Coupling" - Season 2, Episode 1: The Man with Two Legs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0549668/

Maaaaaaaaaate this is an epic failure.

The only advice that I can give is give it a week or two.

Then text her saying hey, how you doing? or use some canned openers

That really depends on your game style.

Have fun and never be obsess that girl.

Hmm yeah i guess you couldnt offend here much more then that actualy...

You could try the begging forgiveness for your stupidity while on your knees crying sorry sorry sorry... in front off her with a very big chocolate box held up to her in your hands while bending forward down to her feet and showing you are overemotional sorry, but even then i would doubt it if she could forgive you for it, not even mentioning if shes stil interested in you.

And we shouldnt promote oneitis actions like that here i guess, so you simply fucked up badly here, and i guess you should just move on man...

Oh and texting and phoning are realy the worst options right now to say a serious sorry to someone. Just like breaking up over the phone or with a text message is.

I also doubt that dutchstyles suggestion of a normal plain text like nothing happend could work, since the offending joke hitted directly on a livechanging consequene of the girl that she cant change, and most ppl wont let you simply get away with acting like nothing has happend.

Oh for heaven sake you messed up badly. Maybe in future you should read these girls profiles? I'd just leave her the hell alone now and stop harassing her. She made her point, she doesn't want to know you so just fucking leave it at that otherwise you'll come across as a desperate idiot. Read about the girl. Don't just add her because you bloody fancy her you dick head!

I strongly disagree with what everyone has said here.

From an objective point of view, what you did wasn't THAT bad. You didn't know about her leg, and obviously you didn't hurt her intentionally.
However, you still have to apologize, and do it well.
I once had a similar case. A girl I knew had told me that a night before a guy stood her up, and she was very upset and really furious about it. Instead of comforting her, I busted on her, saying that she would crawl back to him the minute he apologized. She was really pissed at me for a couple of days and I knew there was nothing I could SAY to reconcile her, I had to DO something. We had a private joke about me comforting a friend of mine with icecream and sad movies, like girls do. So one day I surprised her with icecream, and a couple of nice words, and she was simply blown away.

Hahahaha epic fail! I guess she won't jump through your hoops from that point.

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hahaha! The only way you could make it up to her is to take her to IHOP

wow, what an epic fail for the ages! you can tell your grandkids about this one... I agree, it's not that bad actually. what makes it bad is her own insecurity about her leg (maybe it is still a fairly recent thing) and there is nothing you can do about her insecurity. I bet that as she matures (because that's what it's going to take) she will laugh at this too. I think that if you both have mutual friends you can have them relay your deepest apologies and then text her in a few weeks or so. It could be seen by her as a good thing that you never gave a shit about her disability and now that you know about it, it still doesn't deter you. I'm betting that she will forgive you sooner than you think...
The Porter

Deuce Bigalow might help in this situation lol

Ouch

1. You didn't mean to hurt her.

2. You've apologized.

3. Your job is done here. Leaver her alone for a while.

ps. the joke is bad tho

Fail?! Try winning! That is one of the most comical things I have ever read about and you did it without even trying. Call me insensitive but I find this entire situation hilarious.

Anyway, everyone has pretty much given you the best advice possible. Wait, call/text, amend, and live happily ever after.