| First of all, sorry about the length. I address the reason for that in the body of the post. Believe it or not, I originally typed up an even longer intro to explain my semi-open relationship with my girlfriend, whom we'll call Ginny, but for the sake of brevity, I've condensed it.
Suffice it to say that other girls are now on the table for both of us; she can do her bi thing, and I can satisfy my male libido as long as it doesn't interfere with her social circle (which is partly the reason I'm here. I've been around the block but have been mostly out of the game for 3+ years, so I figured this would be a great place for me to brush up and swap stories).
Over time, I have found that she reacts positively to me expressing attraction toward other girls, even to the point of being visibly turned on by the idea of me and another hot girl hitting it off. More time passes, and I'm now confident that having a threesome is a good idea for us. In fact, I even recently had the nerve to suggest a specific girl. To my delight, Ginny immediately responded with interest.
Now I have to stress how perfect this other girl is for my specific situation in order to make a point. First of all, she's a Japanese exchange student at the local university, let's call her Ling. What's beneficial about this is that Ling is not a permanent fixture in our social lives. Within a year, she will likely be going back to Japan, so no threat to Ginny in terms of our romantic relationship. Second, Ginny and Ling met when they were in a play together, and we all wound up partying a couple of times. She's kinda punkish but demure and feminine, which we both dig. We all like similar party SPAM and all have an artsy, counterculture-ish vibe.
Some of you are probably thinking, "Good luck, Asian girls' legs are glued shut." Regularly, that would be the case, but I happen to know that a) she's on the promiscuous side and b) she's bi-sexual. So far, so good.
So not only is Ling available, attractive, and adventurous, but we've all gotten along swimmingly thus far. It feels like a perfect match. I know it sounds like I'm obsessing here, but hear me out. On top of everything, I can tell that Ginny has a HUGE crush on Ling. It's very obvious, and I intend upon capitalizing on it. That's why I'm making a big deal out of this. Every guy dreams of a threesome, and I'm just trying to lay down a design to make mine happen. If I was just trying to bed the girl myself, I wouldn't be going into such a detailed account. It's simply that this situation I'm in is such a good fit, and I can't be sure that Ginny and I will find that sweet spot again if I fuck this one up. I figure if I can paint a complete picture, I can get better pointers.
So yeah, anxiety and neediness might be coming through in my post, but I assure you that has more to do with my long-winded writing habits then the way I interact with girls.
So I'll get you up to speed on where I'm at now. Ginny and I just moved into a nice little house in town. At this point, it's been months since we expressly hung out with Ling, but I've seen her around and she always responds well to me chatting her up. So, via Facebook (I know, not great), I invite her to our house-warming party and mention that Ginny and I "really like" her. In broken but mostly discernible English, she thanks me for the invite but says she can't make it. It comes off as an excuse at first, and my curiosity gets the better of me. I try to get more out of her by implying that she would really enjoy the party, to which she replies that she has to drive someone out of town that night. Couldn't tell if it was legit, so I dropped it.
So, a couple weeks later (last Saturday), I get it in my head to hook Ling back in if I can. I try to get in touch over Facebook again, only to discover that I no-longer have access to her profile. Crap. I know she could have just deactivated her account, but there is also the possibility that she blocked me. Regardless, I have no concrete way of getting in touch with her. I'd have to wait and see her by chance, and who knows when that might be. Alas, Lady Luck must've been shining down on me. The very next day, I bump into Ling at a local store.
We exchange familiar hellos, she smiles, but it's very casual. One of my problems is that I'm not sure how to balance this dynamic. As evidenced by my Facebook interaction with Ling, my instinct is to imply that both Ginny and I are interested in her, but should I focus more on being personally aggressive? She knows Ginny and I are an item, so I'm afraid that just hitting on her will scare her away. The flip side of that is that if I don't at least show subtle interest from the beginning, I'll probably never seal the deal.
So I offer Ling a ride home, and she accepts, but like an idiot, I didn't get her number. Still, it was a pleasant interaction. I tried to be playful, but nothing explicitly sexual or flirtatious came up. Overall, she was being very friendly (for a Japanese girl).
So, hating myself for not getting her number, I go home. Suddenly, I get an idea. We both have university emails; I could just look her up and drop a good old fashioned email. I figure I haven't put out a needy vibe, so I go ahead and type up a quick message admitting that I saw she wasn't reachable through Facebook anymore and jokingly implied that she blocked me for being too cool (or something to that effect). I drop my number and tell her to hit me up if she ever wants to make up for missing my last party. Within in hour, she texts me:
[to illustrate her grasp of English and level of interest, the only think I've altered in this text exchange is her name]
L: Hey this is Ling. no i didnt block u kk [Japanese people use "kk" like we use "lol"]. i just deactivated my accound. i would love to come to ur party, it woulb be fun:)
T: Cool. Glad to hear from ya.
L: good to hear from u too:)sorry about last time.
[takes me almost two hours to respond]
T: Don't worry about it, we'll get something going on next weekend.
[immediate response]
L: kk lookibg forwards to it:)
So that's the last we talked, and that was Sunday (today is Tuesday). I guess I have plenty of specific questions, but I'm also looking for pointers in general. Am I fooling myself into thinking she's interested? The smiling, the general friendliness, all the kk's and emoticons, and the instant responses make me think it's at least going in a good direction. We haven't flirted much per sé, but I'm also aware there is a big culture gap between us, and as a Japanese girl, she is going to be more reserved than the punkish or bubbly girl next door. I know she likes to party, likes sex with guys AND girls (second hand source on that one), so it's just a matter of me sealing the deal, right?
Speaking of the cultural angle, is anyone here experienced with Japanese girls? She's not the most traditional among the exchange student population here, but I'm sure any insight into their culture/typical behaviors would help. What about getting past the language barrier? She expresses herself fairly well, but every once in a while something gets lost in translation. I'd love some tips in this area.
And what about the whole trio aspect? Do I just come out and say that my girlfriend and I are attracted to her and imply a threesome early on, or do I build on the connect between me and Ling first?
Being that it's been 48 hours (and counting) since our last interaction, should I drop a text soon? If so, what would be a good launching pad? This is an area I know I need to up my game in. She's expecting me to throw a little party this weekend, but I need to confirm a few other guests before I can talk more about that with her. Still, I feel like it would be a good idea to keep her interested along the way with some irrelevant but fun texts. Suggestions on ways to be flirty before I tell her that Ginny and I are looking for a threesome would be MOST beneficial. Remember, she and Ginny know each other. I don't want to give Ling the impression that I'm a creepy cheater (unless of course she likes that sort of thing, but I can't tell yet if she does).
Should I invite several people over this weekend, a few, or only Ling, Ginny, and myself? I'm not really expecting a threesome on night one, but I know I have to lay the groundwork. How aggressive would be too aggressive?
And finally, any suggestions when it comes to the threesome itself? If I should find myself in the thick of it soon, are there any general rules that you don't usually hear? Any pro-tips on how to turn two kissing girls into a ménage a trois? Techniques? Morale boosts?
Thanks a lot guys. Anyone who made it to the end AND replies is a true hero.
|
CHAT