Hey everyone, I've got some trouble seducing a girl I know.

So I've known her for quite some time now, roughly 2.5 years. I was in a long-term relationship back then until recently. We played theatre and are still playing improv together, so we know each other quite well. She broke up with her bf about half a year ago, and I was one of the first people to know. Our relationship has always been very playful and flirtatious, but a few days ago, the confusing part started.

We were chatting on facebook and we were joking about me taking pictures of her as I have got a bit into photography. It was just a random idea first, but then it became a thing and I told her what clothes I wanted her to wear when she came over etc.. I threw a party that day, so she got here two hours early. It were two hours of fun photography since she's really pretty and has a flair for modelling, but not much else happened. She changed in front of me, but that's nothing new, all the actors had to do that in said theatre we both played because of the lack of an actual changing room. She drew my attention to her breasts ('they've got bigger, haven't they?') but she didn't send any other signals. Then, other people came along so the photoshoot was over; I was bartending that night, so no time to keep going.

Today, I sent her some of the pictures which she liked a lot, and I proposed another photoshoot, this time with no interrupters and at her place. She liked the idea and then suggested going to the woods for one part of the shoot, and then taking some more pictures in her bedroom.


On the one hand, I'm not quite sure if I'm in her friendzone. She's sending some fairly romantic/sexual signals sometimes, but not always. On the other hand, I need some advice on closing the deal on the next opportunity, being the photoshoot.

x

Raph

Have some wine and strawberries at your place and ask her to stay for a drink after the photoshoot. You need to take the lead and show her that you are interested. The more you play this game of being the friend but not doing anything to escalate the more you are ruining your chances. I would just go over the pictures with her while having some wine and start escalating. You don't need to game her, you already have her pictures that you took to talk about.

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Good idea, but she's not much of a wine person and it will be at her place anyway, so that might be tricky to pull off.
About taking the lead... I'd have something in mind with being more imperative during the photoshoot (as in telling her how to pose, I didn't do that a lot last time) and/or being even more verbal, such as making comments on her looks or on the photos I'm taking. I have already tried the latter, not much of a result there other than the usual playful banter. Or could it be that it just backfired because I put her on a pedestal by complimenting her? Could Push-Pull be an option here?

I personally would do some negging and see her response, or some cocky funny. For example, I would go ahead and tell her the photoshoot will cost her, or something along those lines.

Though, if she's offering to be alone, for a longer period of time, and in her bedroom - that's a big IOI if I see one. I would try to put yourself in the photoshoot as well, build some kino in the shoot. Also, try to get her to do different "styles" or "moods" of the photoshoot (e.g. funny, serious, then sexy, etc.)

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I've been doing the negging and C&F ever since we first met, and I guess that's why we've always been flirtatious, sort of. I wasn't doing it consciously back then though. I'm done with editing her photos, but I'm teasing her a bit by not giving them to her, she reacted as expected...

I'm actually meeting her later this week. She - once again - complained about her ex harrassing her by constantly calling, so I told her that she needed some distraction and asked her out. I've never really got round to try the 'meet me at X around 7.30pm and we'll go to Y'-thing... works like a charm

Let's see where this is going, I haven't really set a date for the photoshoot yet because I have to hand in a paper soon (and it's a bit too cold to go to the woods these days where I live). I shall keep you posted.

Not really getting anywhere with this girl. We went out, had a drink and played pool. Lots of kino every now and then, I even ran into a friend with whom I wrote a paper. He immediately started talking about how awesome it was, which upped my value, I guess. So I had an unexpected wing. Long story short, we kept playing for a while, had another drink and then she had to leave. I walked her to the station, quick hug because her train was leaving, end.

Now, something sort of confused me again. First of all, she told me about 4 guys who currently fancy her (she didn't mention me). She ruled each one out for reasons that do not apply to me, some reasons would even make me look more interesting. Could it be that she doesn't realise I'm into her, although I really don't know how she could possibly assume so? Very weird.
Also, she was pretty receptive for kino when we were inside, as soon as we got out of the building, BOOM. Distant.

So I'm really confused now. I'm thinking about doing the 2nd photoshoot ASAP (I won't see her in the next two-three weeks) so no more confusing dates are in between. She said she wanted to do something again, suggesting air hockey, because she claims to be good at it. Should I agree to that? It just feels like a playdate, which kind of makes it difficult to escalate.

Another option (just thought about that) would be inviting her to my place before the 2nd photoshoot, showing her the photos (of which she only has a contact print and a handful for previews so far), maybe doing the wine/cava thing. Tips on how to escalate from there?

It sounds to me that she's trying to tell you she's into you, but she might be afraid to be too upfront because she's known you for so long and thinks that YOU might have ljbf'ed HER. She obviously values you as a friend, and would rather stay friends than risk losing you by becoming more.

Either that, or you're just the gay best friend.

At any rate, take her up on air hockey and drinks. Tell her: "ya, let's go for pool and drinks, but you better dress up real sexy because I want every guy in there looking at us." If she dresses up very well, that's a huge IOI, you're in, girls don't get real dolled up for guys they're not into sexually. While you're at the bar, hit on other girls there, use her as a wing, have some fun. It will be easy since you are with a sexy girl, and it will also make her see that other women are attracted to you, which is a pretty big turn on for women.

Bring her back to your place after, put on a movie on that you've both seen so there is something in the background that you aren't too terribly interested in, throw your arm around her and just escalate big kino, evolution-phase shift and move in for the k-close.

On thing I will tell you though, there is a possibility that she will not act on her attraction, for fear of losing you as a friend. You need to be prepared for this. If this happens, you need to tell her how you know she's attracted to you, and that you are kinda into her too. That you're already more than friends, and if you don't act on this now, you'll move on to other girls, and you'll both wonder forever what could have been. If she still refuses, I'd say freeze her out and move on.

Thanks man, that's quite a plan you're proposing here
I completely agree with the first part, that could be it. Although I'm definitely not the gay best friend, had to laugh at that one

this is all about leading. You want to lead her, you are holding the camera, tell her to do certian poses that could be sexual. tell her to roll up her sleeves pull a shoulder down. tell her to get comfortable in her bed room. if she gets down to underware your in good shape. then it is just leading her to do more. in which case you go into a role play. move close for a kiss and go from there.
the body leads the mind and the mind leads the body. if she is getting in sexual poses around you she is getting turned on. if she is getting turned on she will get more compliant and will backwards ratioanlize that she likes you.

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I think we're getting close to the actual thing now... I am a natural leader, but I've always been taught not to pressurise anyone. This especially gets through when I'm in a rather personal situation. So if I just drop my nurture and act out my nature, it should work.

By the way, very nice input on that body leads mind/mind leads body part, I've always applied it to myself, but not to my counterpart... Let's see where this leads me. Thanks bro!

No problem man be your self lead her, don't pressure her. lead her and read her Go for compliance if she doesn't do something do something less and build up. It is pavlove conditioning.

Hope you get your goal man.

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(\/)aven

I hope she doesn't notice the conditioning, she knows quite a lot about psychology

Depens how obvious it is. She is a women and likes to be lead, so he is taking the lead. Plus alot of girls know what is going on in seduction and just go with it playing dumb so we can lead them to it. it is like your leading a girl into the bath room, She says yeah i need to wash my hand or some stupid coment you know is completly bull. if your taking a girl to the bath room she knows your going to try to sleep with her she is just finding a way to be compliant to it.
Same thing here. If she is playing with it and following your lead she is being compliant and is participating in her seduction.

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Any questions feel free to PM me.

(\/)aven

I think I should update that a bit...

So I set the date for the next photoshoot at her place, she responded by agreeing and inviting me to a homemade Teriyaki (which she has been owing me for some time, but that's another story).I froze her out a bit, and boom, she starts initiating contact via FB. She asked me about uni (I'm studying what she's planning on studying) and asked if I could show her my uni and told me she'd like to go shopping with me (IOI?). Also, she proposed hanging out at the lake in summer...

I'm starting to think she's just incredibly shy in that matter. Which is weird, because she knows me well and is not shy at all with me.

Either way, I'll have the photoshoot with her in a few days, and I'll try to follow the suggestions you guys have made so far. Also, I still owe her a massage. I don't remember why though, but honestly, I don't care, I love massaging girls. This would actually make a brilliant base for escalation... Any tips on that? When I would massage my ex, I'd just turn her over and start massaging her breasts, but I don't think I can do that with this girl, can I?

cheers for all the input so far!

Any update with how this is going?

One thought that crossed my mind was punishing her for talking about other guys with you, even if it's in a humorous way.

I sometimes say sarcastically, "hey can we talk about all your ex guy friends, and guys that like you, maybe you could write them all down on a piece of paper so you don't forget to talk about any" I have a really dry sense of humor haha

But on the other hand, the boobs, the photo shoot, the changing in front of you, dang man i was gettin turned on just readin about it!

I'd prob lose control and just be like "hey wanna take a shot of petron and make out?"