| So I had this gal I met at a bar get a little creeped out by me (I think). I invited her to a lesbian dance party and she jokingly replied by telling me I called her a lesbian. I posted this exchange on here somewhere. Anyway, I said that I didn't think she was an axe gash chaser and told her we could do some straight stuff before and after the party, if she wanted to prove her straightness. She then said she got the hint and disappeared. Funny story though, what happened next brought her right back to me and about a month later she won't stop emailing me (truth is, I'm replying to all her emails though).
So I hit up an Internet dating site to get some action going b/c this girl was crazy. First time I'd ever tried a dating site and I quickly built up a stable of ladies. In like 2 weeks, I had a date for every free night I had and I even got laid. No Lay Report because this gal basically picked me and I just availed myself to her seduction.
Back to the story. So I'm with this other Internet chick and we're at a dive watching the big football game. My Internet chick ditches at some point and so I move over a couple of stools and pick up the weird gal of the title to this thread. That night, after the corvid team claimed victory, said "you're not a vegan are you? let's go for burritos, I'm driving." That's all it took. So I got her number and I've hung out with her a few times. She's cute and an all around hottie except that she has nothing in the backyard. Still I want to sleep with her.
The irony? She's a recovering lesbian! I love the way this all works. So ex lesbian, I think, is looking for some man action but she is so awkward (and I'm no smooth operator either). She BARELY makes eye contact with me and she keeps a VERY comfortable distance so that building comfort by touch is extra awkward. I caught myself leaning in to speak with her and reaching way out to touch her all the time (we've hung out three times now, big game/burritos, happy hour, a movie). At the end of every night she absolutely freaks out and runs off. Maybe she lives with a partner? I don't know. One night she told me it's obvious that I'm not into her. This is ridiculous! The first night I sent her a text that I was nervous and should have kissed her. The second night (when she pulled this bullshit) I called her afterwards and left a voice mail telling her that I'm just not good at this sort of thing and that she's very much my cup of tea. 3rd time, she actually contacted me! So I figured my vulnerable, honest, heartfelt game was sinking in. But this was weird too! At the end of that night she asked me to bring her straight home and when we got there she freaked again!
At this point, I was done. I have a stable of ladies and I start seeing them (and I even manage to get laid). But as it would happen, this chick starts texting me and the other crazy girl starts emailing me all before my dick could dry off. I really want to jump into EITHER of these two crazies, not because they are wack jobs, but because I met both of them and picked them up in real life. But they are both complicating the deal.
So weirdo invited me to ballroom dancing the other day. Fucking crazy. I declined because I couldn't make it but she wants to see me tomorrow. I've got Internet dates all weekend, but I'm squeezing her in (between dates, how fucking crazy is this shit) with the hopes of smelling like I'm surrounded by women (because I actually am, though not getting laid NEARLY enough because I'm still a pretty lame afc). The other crazy wants to see me on Saturday, maybe, when I should be seeing an Internet gal for the second time (which, I think means sex). I'm not crazy about Internet gal, but that is sex. Crazy gal, though, is much cuter.
Here's what I need help with. How do I crack these eggs? What do I do with safe distance girl? Should I just be extra man and grab her up, pull her close and say something softly, slowly, manly to her? How about the other crazy, should I pinch her ass and tell her that I don't want to sleep with her to get her feeling extra safe around me, yet somehow associating me with cream filled panties?
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Where there are bees, there is honey
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