I usually get lines that contain either "you're such a player" or "what do you mean by that?". What's the best answer to that?

In the first case, they give me that because I tell stories about girls I went out with (usually HV, but sometimes I like to talk about the bad behaviours of women to show her I have standards). Maybe sometimes I speak too much about other chicks...dunno...
I usually reply with something like "why? because i'm a social person and i spend time with women?"

The second scenario happens if I open them with a quirky or silly line (I like your left eye better etc.) or I play with words and misinterpret what she says. What would be a good comeback from that?
I usually make fun of her for not understanding what I said, but I don't think it's the best way.

Oh, and I've almost forgotten. If she shit tests me, I reply with c&f, but if she says "it was a joke!" what's the best answer to that? I usually say "so what? you're not the only one with bad jokes!"

Feedback please!

"You're such a player" - I know, I love to play basketball.

"What do you mean by that?" - Tell her the truth by what you mean.

"It was a joke!" - Oh damn! Wait wait...hahaha... - or - Oh my god, you should be a stand-up comedian! When's your first show?