Hello people,

Just signed up here as I have been out of the dating game for a long while. By long while I mean about 8 years, because I was with my last girl for 6 years. Then the last couple of years have been focusing on work and not going out looking.

Anyway I met this girl the other week at a mates party. She's friend of a friend of a friend, so I don't have any direct mutual friends with her. When we met the first time we had a good chat, but was mostly about work as she's in the same industry as me. The thing is I do sales and she would be the exact type of person I would sell to and she works for a large global corporate, so I was just as interested in setting up a work related meeting as I was in getting in to her knickers.

I got her email address and just sent a short mail saying it was good to meet her and would she be up for lunch one day in the week. She suggested the following Monday, which I agreed to.
I left it until Friday and sent her a mail to see if we were still on for the following Monday and she said that she's sorry, but has a couple of meetings that day now. She then said she had a weeks holiday booked from Wednesday and that we should catch up when she's back.

I asked for her number and said sure that would be good. She gave me her number and I didn't call her because I didn't know if she had got cold feet before and I wasn't sure if she was expecting me to get at her on a work level or personal.

Anyway two weeks later (Friday just gone) I went to a pub to meet some friends and she was there, but I didn't notice her at first. I've only met her once before and her hair was completely different, so was just sitting speaking with some friend when one of her mates came over and said wasn't I going to say hello and she would be upset if I didn't.

I figured that's as good a sign as I could hope for, so went over and sat with her and her friends for a couple of hours. Unfortunately as she was with a group of her friends that I'd never met before I felt very self concious and didn't speak too much.

Anyway she invited me to a New Years Eve party at the friend of a friends house, that I loosely know. At first I thought she was just being polite inviting me, but she did ask me on 3 separate occasions.
The problem here is, it's a long way to go on New Years on the off chance something might happen. I would need to book a hotel and persuade a mate to come up with me in case it all went wrong.

It's 3 weeks until New Years Eve. I told her before she left on Friday that if I was going to go, it would be good to meet her before then.

Any suggestions or tips on how I can follow up by text/email or phone today or tomorrow to try progress things so it's not all centred around New Years Eve?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Tough crowd.

Does she live in the same city? i think she's interested, if she knows the party is a distance, then she knows your going to be together with her and your probably going to end up sleeping at her place/hotel. BUT of course she will never say that as it makes her look like a whore. i would suggest messaging her something light hearted/ confident/ fun. Dont talk about work too much as you may just end up in the bracket of "work related contacts". Anyhow once the conversation is flowing, suggest coffee somewhere, before NY Eve. take it from there

Thanks for your reply! I've been texting her, so think we're on for NYE.
Cheers

I dont know why ants3940 thinks shes anything but minimally interested. You are behaving like a tentative and timid low value male which is your real problem, and the issue you need to fix going forward or you are going to continue to have problems. I wouldn't concern yourself too much with this girl, your chances with her are very slim at this point.

I tend to agree with Detox on this one. One thing we don't know is , if your value is substantially higher in her eyes than the average guy she thinks she could attract out in public or online between now and then. She may be suggesting on 3 separate occasions you go with her to this party but she may suggest that to other guys also to make sure she has someone to go with then pick a favorite one on New years eve. She's cancelled on you once and would do it again.

My suggestion to you is don't over think this one girl. You are asking b/c you have "oneitis" already. Your chances are slim at this point but new years eve is a time tons of women come out of the wood work, some haven't been out in several months and some have underachieved through out the year or their lives with men and they wanna drink and party and get laid and know a lot of wealthy , good looking men will be out doing the same. For me, I could take a date but I don't give a shit who the date is, I will have opportunities with women better than anything in my telephone. So I will likely get a wing or 2 and go get it on.

One thing I would add to what I said is that I don't think you are necessarily done with her but I wouldn't put your desire for her on the top of your priority list for new years eve. keep the number until New years day. Text and ask "did you have a happy new year" what did you do" yadda yadda. You can probably save it if you know how to use a telephone but you will have better opportunity putting her on the back burner for now