Hung out with my ex for the first time in over a year the other day. We cuddled on the couch, held hands under the blanket. I would move away from her and she would pull me back in etc. I tried to kiss her but she rejected, i only tried once...

I for sure played the abundance role like she wasnt a big deal to me when we hung out. She talked about me coming and visiting her sometime this week (she lives over an hour away). this was on sunday, i told her to call me if she wants me to come see her. She called me late tuesday night (i hadnt talked to her since sunday night when we hung out). I didnt pick up. I plan on giving it a few days to contact her back....i dunno why...but i want to make it look like she is not that important to me, will this make her chase harder? She is very attractive and i know for a fact she has a lot of guys coming after her....

my goal is to obviously start banging her again.

I don't recommend getting back with ex's, at this point in my experience.

I allowed two back over the years, they abused it and lost respect.. even one I ended it with the first and second time. She still wants me, even after marrying another dude and getting divorced, so I use that information to gauge about how people will "want what they can't have."

However, if there's ANYTHING I would suggest with her is, DO NOT go to her, don't make an excuse why you cannot go 1 hour, just say you can't. If she asks why, say you're busy, but tell her she can come visit you over the weekend. Offering no explanation will make her curious why, but if you're trying to use deception, then say you're meeting your friend "Sarah" or something (jealousy plotline).

No Contact her, she HAS to come to you at this point, if she's your ex. ESPECIALLY, if she broke it off the first time with you, and if she did, I'd seriously consider NOT even allowing her back into your life, unless she does most of or ALL of the work... it's gotta be like 70% her and 30% you.. minimum, at this point..
or else.. you'll "train her" that she can "come and go" as she pleases in your life.

If you want her to "CUMe and go", then she comes to your place only, and skip the hand holding girlfriend/boyfriend type stuff unless you've hit it 3 times or more again and she shows she *showing* more interest.

Most dudes'll "rip" you bad for the "holding hands" stuff, I won't, cuz I been there (about 14 years ago tho), but as you become better with women, you'll probably view holding hands as more of grabbing a woman's hand to "lead her" her to somewhere, ie. saying "Come on, let's go" grabbing her hand and walking in front leading her to go to the next venue or something.

Not to focus on that part, but, it almost sounds like you're hoping for a FB scenario and that'll require a lot of reframing for an ex GF.

Try to breath and not get angry, but it sounds like she's had some other stuff going on over the last year and she came to you for "comforting", which you gave her. Again, don't get angry about this, just learn from the experience.

Personally, I think you should "let her go" and start meeting new women, unless she starts "pursuing" you hard.. and I mean REAL hard.. some women'll even sleep with you again just to "know they can" and then she's gone again.. so, just be careful, obviously you know her better than us, but it can't hurt to create a little competition for her..

I think the ultimately secure dudes NEVER chase women, they let women come to them, but you do need to put in a little work to show them you're sexual and they have a chance if they pursue by flirting..

-Mackula

Thanks for the detailed response.

I agree its a waste of time since she lives an hour away. But the reason i am trying to get her to chase me is because in 3 weeks she is moving 5 min down the road from me. I would like to put her in my rotation. So you suggest waiting a few days to call her back when she calls?