Prevent me from friendzoning myself with this girl



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:38 pm 
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Alright so I recently met this girl that lives a few doors down from me in college. Shes friends with people I was friends with (a couple girl friends and a guy friend), and thats how I met her. We've went to parties with our group of friends a few times. One of the parties that she went to was hosted by my frat and she said it was the best party she wen't to (repeatedly) and wanted to make sure I let her know next time we are throwing something. I didn't know she lived nearby, but I just recently found out shes in the same dorm (which isn't that big, probably should have known that she lived here a long time ago). I recently hung out with her and her friend in her room and she asked for my number (possible IOI?) and she was doing a lot of stuff with her hair but I could be reading way into things. Anyway, as she's friends with my friends and lives in the same dorm, I feel like these are two things that fast-track to friendzone, which I'm trying to avoid. She does have a less attractive female friend that I talk to a bit, should I hit on her? Any general tips on how not to get in the FZ or KINO in casual areas?


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 4:27 pm 
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please any help? or if its too hard are there ways to become friends and then date later on (i feel like thats much harder doe)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 12:11 am 
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please


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 1:36 pm 
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Umm bro she asked for your number! If there was no reason for it, IE it wasnt because you suggested you could do something for her. Like get her cheap tickets to a concert etc then its a IOI.

My question to you is what have you done now she has your number. Did you get her number too and if so have you made any contact.

If you've just got her number then you are not in the friends zone at all yet but I feel there is more to this story which is why you are already feeling the LJBF vibe


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 4:45 am 
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Umm bro she asked for your number! If there was no reason for it, IE it wasnt because you suggested you could do something for her. Like get her cheap tickets to a concert etc then its a IOI.

My question to you is what have you done now she has your number. Did you get her number too and if so have you made any contact.

If you've just got her number then you are not in the friends zone at all yet but I feel there is more to this story which is why you are already feeling the LJBF vibe
Thanks man! It was kinda a random I don't think I have your number thing, which I guess could be a good sign. We've talked a bit via text, but because she literally lives 10 seconds away most of our conversations happen in person (usually with her roommate/bestie) She invited herself to our next frat party- I think its in the beginning of December but she said she had a lot of fun and is definitely going to the next one, even if she has to crash it (I guess again, thats another good sign). We went out a few nights with a group of friends, but recently haven't went out in the same group (i've had a ton of work the past couple weeks/parents weekend/other things). Anyway, I'm definitely going out next Friday with her and a group of friends somewhere, so any tips for that night would be great (I struggle with the awkwardness of trying to get with a girl that is friends with a lot of your friends, hence the this is going to end up in the FZ feeling). As she's usually with her roomie, it also is hard to kino her and stuff in her room (her roommate helps with convos though so they're usually pretty good). I just feel like the situation has FZ potential all over it, and any way to help guide me with basic pointers or specific stuff to my situation would be fantastic.

I usually flirt-tease her and sometimes her roomie and she laughs at me a good bit (more than most people laugh at me, but I think i'm funnier with her than with most people). I guess that might scream IOI but I guess I'm just nervous because I FZ myself a lot and shes a rather out going girl. I've never really been a touchy feely person with non-family members, so its hard for me to master kino, especially in my/her room when its not like we are sitting next to each other (and if we did it would be awk because the room is so big). Maybe do casual brushups when she's showing me something on her computer? At parties its a bit easier, but daygame kino really is hard for me


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 5:49 am 
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Bro I think what you need to do here is now get here away from the whole group outings thing. The sooner you do this the sooner you will get out of the FZ potential. There comes a point where you have to take a risk and put yourself out there, rejection or not. What you want to do is ask her out somewhere where it is just you and her. If you leave it too long it might in fact become awkward for both of you as the longer you leave it the least she will expect it and you might shock her a bit. I dont think you are in the FZ yet at all as she may not even have any idea you are interested in her, so she is just playing it as it is SPAM. Which is a group of people hanging out. Being put in the FZ by a chick is a little different it usually takes place after you have shown interest and tried to advance it and she decides in her head that she doesn't feel the attraction that way. But like I said this normally happens after she has given it a try first. I don't think from what youve described that she has given it a try yet so you are still in with a chance.

You are going to make yourself a bit crazy if you dont find out soon. If you can't do it face to face I would start a text convo with her and build a bit of comfort then ask her if she wants to grab a coffee or similar sometime. If she says yes then great and you are on your way of having something outside of the group that only you and her share.

Re tips on the group situation. It can become hard if you have been in the group situation with her before and not escalated things or taken the opportunity to do anything. When in the group pay her some more attention. I would just flirt with her now as you have flirted with her roomie for a while now. if you continue that she will not notice the difference when you are flirting with her and just fob it off as that's the type of person you are (someone who flirts with everyone) You want her to see you are interested and reciprocate those feelings. This will help with your confidence and to ask her out as you will have less fear of rejection..

If I was you in this situation. I would do what I said before. Start a text convo with her and send a few back and forth and just ask her if she wants to catch up. Do it in a casual way so that if she says no it wont be awkward when you hang in a group again. Trust me this girl is not going to give you a hard rejection if she says no. She obviously thinks you are a good guy and will only be flattered. good luck


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:58 am 
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UPDATE: I was hanging out with her for 15ish minutes yesterday just us in her room (her roommate was gone) and i found some paper on her desk about her from her local newspaper and started shitting on her about that which I feel was pretty effective. She laughed at some stuff I said and gave me a friendly tap/hit kinda thing to stop reading the paper aloud. It was a good short convo and I found out a good bit about her and broke the touch barrier a little. I know when shes usually by her own and we're gonna go out (along with some friends) to parties this weekend, I'm definitely getting good vibes. I'll try to go from here and then ask her out sometime soon (with break next week and then finals a couple weeks after we get back its probably bad timing but I'll see what I can do). I found out (thanks to the paper) that she's amazing at golf- should I challenge her to a round?


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