Hi guys,

my girlfriend recently broke up with me saying that i didn't put in enough effort when i was with her. and her friends are all a bunch of negative people who only see the bad side. cos she only finds them when she and i have little hiccups.

i have a feeling the guy she's hanging out with is using the straw man technique on me. cos all she sees in me in a negative and bad person. and we broke up only 3 weeks back and she's with someone new.

just wondering if there's a way to counter the straw man technique as a whole.

Cheers!

straw man only even works if she has negative perseption of you herself to begin with, strawman simply brings problems to light

if she doesn't agree and highly thinks other wise, it doesn't matter if the guy cuts you down tounge in cheek sarcastically, she will just think highly of you and get pissed off at the user, instead of qualifying to how shitty you are, she will just stand up for you

a strawman arguement is not some magic trick that has 100% chance to destroy a relationship

if I was talking to you and said, so how's your perfect girlfriend doing, and you just said, ''great'' then I continued on with, must be so nice that she fucks you when ever you want and always has some dinner made when you get home blah blah blah (bringing up as many things as I could think of that she doesn't do)

just because I did ^ this, does that mean you would want to leave your girlfriend? I could do this over and over again, if there were no real issues, it wouldn't even matter and eventually it would get annoying (if not initially to begin with)

if you have a suspicion a girl's friends are putting negative pressure on her to end your relationship, or you think some guy is doing his best to ruin your relationship so he can get it in, just simply talk to your girl man, if she is all pissed off all the time or starting fights and acting all bitchy and irritating around you all the time, chances are what ever she says is the problem, is not the real problem, communicate with her and try to understand the problem, show her you understand that she is hiding something, and figure out what it is, and solve the root issue, give her your trust and understanding, and lead things to be solved by her once the problem is brought to light, justify what is going on and frame it for her so she knows how to handle it, but don't give her exact directions or solve it for her your self, just let her think it was all her idea

but to do this, you have to get good at seeing through chick logic and understanding when something is up, cause if you've been a good boy and shes going crazy, then obviously it's not your problem, it's something else, don't react and figure it out

GOOD LUCK

i realised that the problem was that i cheated on her once in our one year relationship.

I know i made a big mistake and i told her that and aplogized for it.

I dont need people telling me to move on and stuff, it was just a moment of folly and i just want to be back with her cos i do see a future together.

Thanks.