| Alright guys. As I write this, I have a huge grin on my face. And I should. It's my graduation day. Perhaps I should preface this with a little background info. I found this community when I was a junior in highschool, about two years ago. And everything I read, AFCs, LJBF, Shit tests, really opened my eyes to the sexual dynamics, the little dance that happens between every man and woman. It opened my eyes to the point where I had an epiphany. After many months, I had read, watched everything pickup. But as a wise man once said 'Epiphany? There is no such thing. There is only action. You can have a hundred epiphanies day, and it would not make one bit of difference.' And in many ways that's true. There is no point in profound realization if you don't change your course of action. Since those two years, I've had dozens of epiphanies, and zero actions. Until today. I should also say zero action was not a result of lack of confidence in my ability to communicate with da bitchz, but because of a self-defeating behavior that stops me from making any progress or achieving many of my goals. I strongly believe I naturally have good game, like a lot of you guys here, but I tend to tune in too fast to any negative response which immediately shuts me down and I stop participating in the conversation. Somepeople are just rude. Somepeople just dont see humor the way you do. Somepeople are just jealous and will try to undermine you. Somepeople just hate. Not everyone wishes you well. You cant please everyone. I'm still learning that, and learning to let go.
So today. I was in dire need of some fly gear and so I head to Old Navy. Swag. I see two girls my age in a elementary school playground on the swings. I laugh at them openly. They laugh and try to explain why their behavior. I tell them I hope they pass the second grade this time, and I walk away with a slight lean, like I have two coconuts between my legs. Swag. I make it to old navy, and start looking for the mens section. I see a young girl my age. I approach. "Do you work here? Because I'm not sure whether to flirt with you or ask for help. I think I'll do both" She finds this hilarious. She reaches out to touch my arm. I recoil, stammer something as my voice breaks, and run to the opposite side of old navy. I end up in the men's section. Swag.
I pick out some clothes and head to the fitting rooms. There is a line. Two highschool girls in front of me. There is also a disney princess snow white shirt on the rack next to us. Sign from god. I grab it. "This shirt if fucking amazing." I put it up to my chest. It is at least five sizes too small. I tell the girls I'd look pretty sexy in the shirt. One girl says its too small for me. The other turns and stares in a different direction. I put it back and dont say another word. Swag.
The girl who works in the fitting room had the sexiest eyes I've ever seen. She leads me to the fitting room. We lock the door. I make strange ape noises as I bang my fists against my chest. She says she likes big hairy men. I punch her in the face for talking in my presence without permission. Turns out shes into that. We have sex. Just kidding. Swag. She leads me to the fitting room and counts the number of items I have. She places the clothes on the bench in the fitting room while I stand in the doorway. She tells me her name and says "If you have any questions feel free to ask me." I stop her at the door, look into her eyes, lean in and whisper "Banana." She immediately pulls down my pants. We have sex. Just kidding. Swag. I lean in and say "The purpose of counting them is...to prevent thievery." "Yes. We, its protoc..." "Are you calling me a thief?" "No! We do this with everyone." "I can't believe this. This is no way to start a business relationship." She closes the door in my face takes off giggling.
I exit after trying on the clothes. As I leave she asks "So how'd it go?" "These shirts are perfect. But these right here I have to get in a smaller size because I'm not nearly as ripped as I thought I was." then blah blah blah for a few seconds and I'm off. Now I need to find jeans. I find some great jeans, pick up a few different sizes in them and head back to the fitting room. We talk about some shit I can't remember. Then she leads me to the fitting room and starts counting the clothes while laughing and trying to apologize for doing her job. "You better count them. Or you just might find a few missing." "Orly?" "Yes. I have quick hands." She places my items in the bench in the fitting room and leaves. I stop her at the door. "What? So you're just gonna leave without even asking me if I have any questions?" "Ok. Do you have any questions?" "No." I close the door in her face. Swag.
I exit after tryin on the jeans. She smiles goodbye. At this point, I had a feeling I should build more comfort before getting the number to convey safety and familiarity, and as I've learned from the community, and from guys like you, the easiest way to build comfort with a random girl is to 1. Be related to/good friends with one of her girlfriends or 2. Attend a college she's familiar with. I say "Actually I do have a question." We talk about college blah blah, it turns out she goes to the same college I'm attending this fall. She then excuses herself to help an elderly lady and we both laugh as she counts the clothes. She comes back from the fitting room and we continue talking. I build a bit more comfort by talking about my older sister (who is very maternal towards me, but I still love her) and how if she was in new york with me, she would have wanted to write my college essay for me. "I have one more question." "Yeah?" "Give me your number." "Is that a question?" "It's up for interpretation." "I don't know, I think I'm a little too old for you." "You put age limits on your friends?" she laughs "Ok" "And plus, you can introduce me to all your hot friends" "Yeah! And you can introduce me to all your hot guy friends." I then say something very lame. She ignores it. Cool. She gives me her number and we wave each other off.
About half an hour later I text her "You should learn to count better. I just made off with 5000$ worth of merch.
-handsome theif"
"Lmao must be your lucky day"
Fuck. I'm so stuck...
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The only people for me are the mad ones
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