What did i do wrong guys?



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:19 pm
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This girl has lost interest in me. And she just went offline to me on msn. She wants me to chase her.
Alex New Year says
u said in that training room a while ago remember
that u needed space
;L
Ellie Johnson says
'a while ago'
plus
u never gave it me
Alex New Year says
Well I will give you it if you need it. I won't stop you from having it..And i never purposely would. What i was doing was out of my own love for you. I want you to be happy even if that someday means you are not with me.
I dont expect you and never have expected you to turn down oppertunites to be with other people
Ellie Johnson says
LOL?
Alex New Year says
if u have feelings towards them..
Ellie Johnson says
LOL?
Alex New Year says
Whats funny?
Ellie Johnson says
me loving other people?
lool
Alex New Year says
Yes because I don't want you to turn down oppertunites to be with other people if you have feelings towards them. You can date other people if the oppertunity ever arises for you. And if you really want to. I would never hold a grudge against you for that. I will likely do the same. Our relationship should be an open one.
I just want us to take things slowly :)
Ellie Johnson says
do you believe in monogomy
Alex New Year says
Yes..
What about it?
Ellie Johnson says
so why say that
Alex New Year says
I'm doing this for you.
You know, you're probably right. You have to do what your heart tells you. If I'm not the guy for you, then I'm not the guy for you. I obviously care about you a lot, but that's life I guess. Even if it sucks, that's just the way it is
Ellie Johnson says
why r u suggesting i dont like you
its like u dnt want me to
i never said tht
or suggested tht
Alex New Year says
Let me ask you a question Ellie. if you started dating with someone and you realized that wasn't the person for you, would you keep going out with them?
I mean you would not only be wasting your time, but also hers. I don't know about you but when I find something or someone I like, I hold onto them with my gator grip, until then... im swimmin with the fishies
Or in this case my own time.
As i would be wasting yours..
Ellie Johnson says
so ur saying
u dnt wanna 'be with me' cuz im not 'the girl for you'
and ur wasting ur time or w/e
alright lol..
bye then
Alex New Year says
Your wasting ur time with me

Should I apologize, and say she is the girl for me?

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:16 pm 
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I have no idea what the fuck I just read...

A little background info/context would be nice.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:22 pm 
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Me and this girl met once in real life. She's 16 and I am 17. She talks to alot of other guys on the internet and she has alot to do with them. I have expressed that i do love and care for her alot. And she told me she feels the same way. But she left this msn chat straight away. And she hasn't spoke with me since. She went offline, I'm guessing she "blocked" me and she has the idea that I don't want to be with her, and therefore she went offline. This girl has claimed that i do mean alot to her, and that she only wants to be with me. but everytime i do something bad, she ends all contact with me. And tries to push me to make me contact her again. And she therefore tries to regain power by making the relationship less "caring" on her end. I think she does have strong feelings for me and cares for me alot. And we have even done the dirty talk alot in the past. But right now, shes not talking to me as she believes I dont want to be with her. My question is. How do i recover from this situation, and will she just contact me again out of nowhere?..
She contacted me first because i have been ignoring her for the past couple of days. And she now believes that i dont want to be with her.
She's a very strange girl who is focused alot on getting attention from guys.
So my question is.
How do i play the game in my favour?

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:38 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2010 7:54 pm
Posts: 155
Location: Michigan
You were clearly projecting feelings on her that she either doesn't have or won't admit to. Either way, you're in the wrong. You can't just decide what people's feelings are or let them know if they are telling the truth or not. That's silly. Take her word for it when she says she likes you.

You already screwed this up, and you should probably just apologize for being immature and move on. That way, if she does indeed want to be with you, you've made yourself look much better than if you were to continue yammering back and forth with her in a battle of who cares the most or whatever. Keep it simple. Apology, break contact for awhile, see what happens. OR Just apologize and move on without her.

I didn't mean any of this to be condescending, I'm just trying to help a brother out. This was kind of a painful conversation to read.

P.S. For future reference, to protect peoples' confidentiality, try not to use real names of women on the forum! Imagine if they somehow stumbled across that! lol


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:52 pm 
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Seriously, DEAN.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:54 pm 
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She sounds insane, dude. Ditch that. They only treat you like dirt if you're being played. If it's that much of a pain in the ass, find a new girl.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:29 pm 
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Posts: 156
Not sure I understand either.

Right off the bat... you acknowledge she needs space, but you're the one pushing the conversation. Reading between the lines, you're sending long messages and she's flipping you off with a few words here or there.

Everything that you wrote, even the parts that sounded like you were cool with her dating other people, sounded really insecure, like you were fishing for a response where she said "I don't want to date other people."

Being needy, pushy, and demanding are the least attractive qualities. Some guys think that if they're "strong" enough with their demands they will come across as "alpha".

If you're dealing with a flighty girl, you don't do that by issuing ultimatums, or by telling her you'll go slow, or telling her entire paragraphs explaining your dating philosophy. If she's actually lost interest in you, you're not going to get her back with anything resembling that conversation.

Be cool. Detached. Zero pressure.


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