Hey, I'm new here and I'm just looking for some advice.

Bit of background first.

I used to work with this girl. We got on really well, she always said how funny I was etc.. We used to hang out a lot at work in breaks and at lunch. About two months ago she left and we still text each other. Sometimes she would initiate and other times I would. I'd say it was about 40/60.

She texts me sometimes saying that she misses me and more recently she text me saying that I should take her out ( also stating in the same text whether that was too forward and she explained that she hasn't dated in a while). I said that I would take her ice skating and I suggested a day and time, she agreed. I didn't text her on the days up until the date I just text her on the day telling her not to forget her gloves.

She then replied saying that she wasn't really up to it because she felt unwell and she wanted to rearrange. I replayed saying just text me when you are feeling better and want to do something. She said that "we'll think of something fun to do when im better" . I then learned from her twitter updates that she went to the doctors the next day and was prescribed antibiotics.

This was all just before nye. I sent out a mass new years text. She replied at like 3am saying that she had spent nye in hospital because she had a bad reaction to the anti biotics. I text back later that morning showing concern and asking if she was feeling better. She text back saying she was. And that's pretty much where I'm up to. She last sent that 6 days ago and we haven't contacted each other since.

I really do not know where to go from here. I need some advice on my next move. Is she waiting for me to initiate contact?

I mean she asked me out, so I guess that means she is interested in me?

Thanks!

Duh, she's interested in you.

I can tell that she is waiting for you to intiate contact by her admission that she has not dated in a while and is insecure about seeming too forward. She is afraid of messing it up with you because she likes you. Keep her comfortable by taking the initiative to re-open communication.

I suggest that you send her playful texts on a texting schedule similar to your last one until she tells you that she's well again. Don't be too hasty to ask her for a date, as this girl is of the kind who will probably make it apparent when she's ready to start planning another outing.

Also, try to avoid checking up on her too much. You've done okay so far, but make sure that you aren't checking on the status of her health almost every time to you talk. You'll send off the big brother/best friend vibe ,and that does not sound like for what you're aiming

Good job so far. Keep up the good work.

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"Simple. Escalate, if she's into you, she will escalate with you, if not, you will know soon enough." - SexAddict911

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.

Also, what do you mean by "send her playful texts on a texting schedule similar to your last one"?

I think I will text her this evening with a bit of callback humour to re-initiate contact. I think Sunday evening is always a good time to text.

You're welcome. I'm happy to help.

I was basically saying that if you were texting her every other day before you stopped communicating then you should begin texting her every other day again. Same goes for if you were texting her every third day.

Keep me posted.

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"Simple. Escalate, if she's into you, she will escalate with you, if not, you will know soon enough." - SexAddict911

stop being so needy just let what ever happens play out, she already likes you, it is just a matter of time before she gets better, just relax man, you got this, go meet some new girls in the time being, it is not like she is your wife or anything

so would you advise against re-initiating contact?

re-initiating, not re-intiating, totally irrelivant, just stop being needy in general, you don't need this girl man, she is not even trying hard for you at all, and you don't make her work even a little bit to get you, you just let her have you at the first chance, she says jump, you say how high?, you are treating this girl like she is some big deal, she isn't, she likes you but you are getting needy

-what do I do, I can't fuck this up (seem familiar?)
-how can I make sure that this girl stays into me (still with me?)
-should I start being dis-interested now to get a reaction? (something along these lines?)

you following what im getting at?, you need to just find another hobbie or something quick to get you mind off this girl, or talk to other girls or something, just let things play out as they lay out and stop stressing about it so much, don't drop any plans for her, probably good if you start leading the frame instead of letting her lead and being compliant to her every wish and command

if that was me, and some girl flaked on a date, legit excuse or not, I would not even be thinking of ways to contact her, or get another chance or date with her, she would have to at least go through the effort of shooting me a text to say hi, obviously I would throw out the invite to do something, but she would be contacting me, if not, what ever move on to bigger and better things, no point in a chasing a girl around, that just wants to waste time and not do anything with me, if she wants to do something she will call/text, and if she is calling/texting but consistantly flaking then she just wants attention from you and not your penis, and if it is your attention that she ''values'' then remove it from the equation, she does not get what she wants, unless you get what you want, and everyone knows, girls always want what they can't have

Thanks for the advice. I fully understand what you are saying.

I'm trying my hardest to not come across needy to her. Its just that I always think that she may lose interest if I dont communicate with her from time to time. Because I would then have to start again building up attraction and comfort again, I almost feel that I go back to square one. But the problem is, I not sure if this is the case or not, if her interest remains or not.

I know this even seems needy, but its just something that I've yet to learn.

You aren't being needy by worrying about her interest; you're being practical. If you like someone, then you are going to care about what they think to some degree. With experience, you'll gain a feel for the difference between neediness and necessary concern. In the meantime, reading more information about PU won't hurt.

If you don't communicate with her for an extended period of time, then she could lose interest. We would describe her as "going cold" if that were the case. Waiting longer than a week,in this case, could lead to that.

Follow the advice that I've already given you, and you'll be fine.

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"Simple. Escalate, if she's into you, she will escalate with you, if not, you will know soon enough." - SexAddict911

Ok thanks.

I text her around 4hrs ago. I'll let you know how it goes. As of yet, no reply.

It does seem like you're in with this girl according to what you're telling us. I really like how you handled the sick excuse too, showing concern for her health rather than trying to get that next date even after she wanted to reschedule.

Give it some time man. If you've ever been sick, you probably didn't want to make any plans with anyone until you're back to 100%. She may be worried about what you think if you see her and she's a complete mess. You already re-initiated contact, so let her answer you. If she doesn't...then don't contact her again until she starts the conversation.

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

Thanks for your reply Vietnam,

Do you think that there is a possibility that she has "gone cold" because I re initiated contact after 8 days?

Its the morning now, so if she doesn't text back today then that could be the case?

It could be that, or it could be a combination of a thousand things man. That's just it. You'll never know. And thinking about it is gonna drive you up the wall. My suggestion to you now is to follow pumpington's advice and shove those insecure thoughts out of the way as you continue on with your life. You may not be showing to her that you're being needy, but all of us here on the forum can tell how much of a grip this girl has on you.

Relax. Stay composed. If she was genuine about rescheduling that date, she will eventually contact you. But it doesn't mean you should sit around and wait for her.

_________________
Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, im just going to get on with my life and keep busy, which I try and do anyway. She hasn't got back to me yet but I assume she will if she's interested. Unless she is playing some game im unaware of...

The only reason why I was being that way, like "what did I do wrong" etc, was because she initiated the date so I immediately thought I had it in the bag- she showed interest and im interested, job done. But I guess not lol.

I mean, she hasn't tweeted either since I text her (she would always tweet a load of shit all the time) so I guess something could be up. Strange coincidence?!

Anyway, like I said im just going to get on and maybe ping her at a later date. Going away this weekend with friends, so going to try my game in a different city!

I pinged her recently and she replied right away. Weird..

What do you think my strategy should be to work it back up to what it was before, towards a date?