Hi all,

Im new here, quite new to the game also, however its all been working quite well for me until now. The thread is long please, please be patient its quite complex.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years around a month ago.. since then Ive slept with 2 random girls I've picked up at bars. The problem is that recently I met up with this fantastic girl, very reserved and quite old fashioned to a certain sense. Ill try keep this as short as possible.

Whilst she was still seeing someone of 4 months ( who she was ditching).

It was her birthday night and I had booked a flat in the nearby island for the weekend, we weren't meant to sleep in the bed together but she came and slept with me hugging her. No kissing, however in the morning we were grinding quite a bit and she was getting quite heated up, but when i tried to go further she would stop me, multiple times.

She spent the rest of the weekend teasing me with her eyes and her hands and feet under the table. I held back to tease her back.

When we came back we met again the next day and I told her I liked her, she said she didn't feel the same way. I became quite angry but told her i was happy that i know, and that i knew it would come out this way, i then told her to go home.

the next say at 7.30 am she would not stop messaging, she said she's not a selfish person and promised to make it up. we met things went well and she completely ended it with her guy she was seeing for 4 months... she was quite hurt about it. Anyway we had the best weekend and she slept over on saturday again but i didn't try anything this time... i was too tired.. ( before she slept she also said she came in bed she also said she didn't want to give me the wrong idea" in the morning she said her aunt was really bad and left quickly.

Anyway, I'm dating other girls and she knows this. She even asks me how there going... however she smses me first thing in the morning, she loves to sexually tease me, and she hugs me like the world is going to end. SHe smses me first thing in the morning and last thing before she goes to sleep, and all thought the day,,, she wud text me every 30 minutes if i didn't respond back. But were exactly the same in every respect nearly.

So i am seeing 2 options.

1. She is not interested but enjoys the attention and power I give her, i never let her get away with anything, and when she used to be late i told her to never do it and she never did amongst many other things. I still have all the power in my hands, i make every decision and she follows.

2. SHe is interested but is worried she will be a rebound... or I will hurt her, and since i am very highly respected amongst all my friends and I lead the group mainly.. she's scared of the repercussions of us ending. Im unsure, she was hurt by her x guy she was seeing.

I really can't figure this one out and i really want her in my life... please help me!!

I don't want to pollute this

Maybe a bit more of a background:

She is a lawyer,
If i don't text her nearly instantly she calls asking if everything is oki.

I already read this post how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone-vt121353.html

But it doesn't explain the best way to freeze her out.. i get the feeling I am also one of her only friends around.. besides another weird guy who is overly obsessed with her and she's really put off by it.

Please help me someone, I want this girl, but I also want to move on if she just using me.

I'm far from being an expert, but to me it looks like your mistake was coming forward with your feelings too fast. That might have put too much pressure on her. This makes a lot of sense given the situation you're in.

Never mind what the girl is saying, all of those teasing are massive IOI's. She's into you, you're not being friendzoned. My guess is that she's testing you and being a cock tease. Best solution to this in my opinion is to freeze her out. She will most likely come back on her knees. If not, you can try hitting that again in about 2-3 weeks. Just be confident, discussing feelings like that makes you look weak, and that's why she's testing you.

Hi,

Thank you for replying, she does give tons of IOI's and loves to tease me. I am attempting to freeze her out. But since my messages are a bit dry, she keeps on asking me and phoning me to see if I am Ok, or if I'm angry at her. I froze her out this morning, she has asked me at least 3 times once calling me if I'm Oki.

Ill try freeze her out till the weekend, then i will make a quick move to try and kiss her..

she's messagin as we speak and the messages go like this:
( we didn't sms for a good 5 hours since she last called me to see if everything was oki)

Her: Whats up dude?
Me: Nothing much at work letting the day go bye.
Me: U?
Her: Same, bored to be honest.
her: nd massive migraine, unbelievable
me: i hope you feel better.
her: thank you love
her: listen, are you sure your oki?
Me: Yep I'm fine.
Her: use sure nothings up?
her: i have a feeling something wrong
her: ??
and she says my name again in a sweet manner because i did not reply after 3 minutes.

Any ideas, she's scared to lose me more then I am here I feel.. its strange because she refuses to kiss me, and she knows I'm always at it.

the messages go on:

her: Please dude tell me the truth
her: I can feel that somethings up
her: Tell me come on.
her: I will help i promise.
her: whatever it is.
her:
me: Im fine duda (pet name), have a lot being fragmented in my head.
her: Don't worry hunny it's all be fine I promise.
her: I'm here fear not
her: den tell me about everything dats bother you ok nd we'll deal with it don't u worry.
her: fix it before no time...
me: thanks hun.
her:

Man these messages are crazy< she's sweet and really care for someone she only really knew for 1 month... but she refuses to kiss me... shell sleep with me, i might get a tiny kiss here and there. But when i said i had a date.. which had been scheduled a long time ago.. and i asked her if she thinks she's a nice person and if i should cancel.. she said no, you should give it a shot so you can find out what you want...

i think she's scared of being the rebound. bahh I'm lost. sorry guys for these mega threads..

If you want to get out of the friend-zone or prevent getting in, you have to take care of two steps: flirting and touching. If you forget about these, you land automatically in the friend-zone. So you have to be playful, tease her a lot and forget about the rapport phase, you want to be in the attraction phase at the beginning, so that she begin to have feeling for you. I have an article about avoiding friend-zone and you can find it here http://seduceandattract.blogspot.com/20 ... -zone.html

Well I do the touching thing more then maybe I should. But she is very comfortable together. She loves to tease me sexually all the time. And i tease her. As I said she had slept in my bed and we spooned and i was touching her and getting her turned on in the morning,but she kept on stopping me... on saturday we were very drunk and she wanted to come over at 3.30 am, so we went to mine and opened another bottle of wine.. she was all heated and saying lots of crap.. and i was saying don't say that because I'm going to rape you in a second. she would just laugh and smile.

she didn't use to hold my hand enclosed before, but now she does.. it always going a little further, and little more... but she's very very hesitant to kissing me.. I think it means it will change her life to much.

I just not sure whether to freeze her out, or not. but she goes crazy when i do, its like she cannot live a second without me.

PS i read your document its good, so I'm in rapport I should not freeze her off then, but give her a lot of attention?

I am 100% sure that you will sleep with this girl, so take it easy.

Stay cold for a couple of more days. That doesn't mean replying to her texts, it means let her miss you a little. Don't make it seem like you're mad or offended by her (that's what it looks like you're doing). Make it look like you're busy, maybe you got other girls on your mind.

When you feel like she reached her peak just invite her over to talk about things. DO NOT TALK ABOUT THINGS. Just hang out, ESCALATE, you're in.

Guys,

Thank you for all the info, i was really lost not having an inside perspective. Im trying to assist the other on the forums with my knowledge. So thanks to all for the help, hopefully one day I can return the favour!

Sure thing man this is what it's all about.

Im actually in the exact same situation with a friend and its very strange. This has been a good read and should help

Hey,

I hope you get where you want, I haven't heard from her all day, which is rather strange, she asked me if she could come over before she headed for a dinner with her family, but I rejected it saying I'm going to busy at work and have plans that evening. I told her well try and meet at the end of the week.

I'm not going to message all today unless she does, will probably ask her to come over on Friday and take it from there.

onzalimey wishing you the best and will keep you updated with my progress.

for completion however if anyone has an opinion please post it.

So relationship has become quite friendly, i touched her a lot and slept in my bed twice, hugging and kissing but not on lips.. but i never kissed her or had sex only touching her but she would stop me when i tried to reach down. So that was last sat, i froze her off a bit so it would maybe get a kiss out of her.but she still kept on calling and texting.. here are the last messages.

summarised ( sorry for it still being long!).

me: lets meet up saturday, nice n chilled night.
her: Yes for sure
her: you want to come over to my house DVD
me: was more thinking along the lines of cocktails, then maybe we cook some dinner at my house..then some wine. ending the elegantly.
her: sounds good
her: but you dont feel like doing it at my house?
her:Same as u said.
her: and i can wear my pjs hehe
( here i took long to reply she sent 3 messages trying to grab my attention)
me: i see weve run into a heated house battle.
me: if your worried i was going to ask you to sleep over, I wasnt planning to and you need to trust me a little more.
her: nothing to with that at all love
her: i just feel like chilling at home for some time.
...
her: im going throuhg a bit of ibs at the moment.. (

her: relaxed dvd some tea maybe a glass or 2 of wine and an early night.
me: ermm did e get hookup, got married, had kids and got our pensioners card?
her: lol
her: or if you prefer next weekend
... around 10 message explaing she reaelly tired and needs to rest.
me: I understand, ill come over.
me: but we have to trade
her: trade what?
me: next saturday your mine to do anything I please with.
.. lots of various messages trying to understand what i mean and it started goin on sexual ( after i called her kinky, she said damn i do kinky so well!!)
....
her: d deal is relaxed sat night ur house, early night, dinner dvd nd cocktails??
me: no whatever i want
her::)
her: but u said relaxed.
me: No i didnt.
her: i need relaxed
me: but ull relax i promise.
...
her: y do i have the feeling im going to get into some trouble on the 11th?
me: bwahhahaha damn right.
her: oh shit
her:
me: so deal accpeted madam?
her: alrite alrite ur on.
...
her: im in so much trouble i know it.
her: and i love it hihi
her: Ok deal
... the questions and the conversation turned sexual started by her...

her: whats that?
me: its a tidal wave.
her: i like tidal waves deyre smashing haha
her: excuse the pun
me: your such a naughty girl
her:
me: keep it up.
her: kinky shit hehe
...
me : i hope i dont die of boredom on sat (at her hourse).
me: i inmagine ull fall asleep in 2 minutes... hmmm
me: myb i can keep u awake
her: whatever it is im allready prepared hehe.
me: ill bring a water pistol.
her: LOL
me: why were was ur mind going.
me: get ur head out of the gutter. i barely know you!
her: hit me up tomorrow oki?
.... and lots of good night and kisses from her...


Sorry for the mega long chat...but i couldnt shorten it anymore!! please advise me my knee jerk reaction is that im in. PS im posting this in my thread so i keep the thread updated for others.

Thanks

Too clingy IMO but she's into you so just get with her. Wine is a great idea. Red wine, of course.