Congrats bro, I'm proud of ya

I'm happy for you man good job..as far as where to go from here..just take it slow and in NO WAY do you start kissing her ass just casue you got laid. I think you can handle yourself but if you need any more help feel free to ask us!

_________________
On a Mission to be one of the DMV's BEST PUA!!

SPAM id - xhandlessx

Good job man! knew you could do it.

Like tony said don't put her back on that pedestal, keep the frame you had up until the f-close. You can still reward her but not with expensive gifts, do it with your time and things that remind you of her, its the thought that counts.

How are your views on the proposal now?

Climax:

We are in a relationship!

OMG this was great stuff. You could really see your progression and you were following the advice given and saw how it impacted what was happening between you and this girl. It was one of the best reads I have found on here.

One last thing. Now that you have the girl DON'T GO BACK TO KISSING HER ASS!!! If you do you will lose her.

To the guys who replied on this post. Outstanding guys. Way to help a brotha out.

Also this is a huge example of someone who took bits and pieces of what he read and tried to implement it into his game. If you want to be successful at this find a book from a guru, Mystery, Adam, Gambler, get good at what they teach and move on to the next one. Don't just look at one part of it, try and use and come here and say why isnt this working. or help me make this work.

Love this post.

Not a very good start to our relationship.

I had made it clear that she shouldn't be in touch with her ex's as that would complicate things between us. I told her if she is not sure if she has moved on, she should take some time to think. She said she has moved on and stopped talking to them.

Today, she accidently left her gmail open and I went through her chat logs. She was still speaking to her ex's and was planning on meet one of them today. Yeah she lied to my face. I confronted her and told her I wanted to break up with her. She went all crazy, she called me 10 times sent me some 100 messages.

I met her, listened to her. She said she really wants to be in a relationship with me and its just hard for her to move on. She was crying for almost 2 hrs trying and explain everything to me. She works for me and I told her she should resign from her job as I don't want to see her anymore. Right now she cannot just get another job and if their parents hear about this, they will be devastated. I told her she did some mistakes and she will just have to live with them.

Finally, I made it clear that I don't want to be in a relationship with her and she can keep her job for few months until she finds a new one.

She said she wants me back and she is ready to do anything that it takes, she will prove her to me and would never give me a chance to complain.

When I said no, she kept crying and starting acting suicidal, saying she doesn't want to live any more and she will probably go and harm herself so that I don't have to see her any more.

When she finally asked her if I loved her, I said no and she went off.

At this moment, I was really worried about her safety and was not sure if she would go home. I went to her place and told her to think before she does anything stupid. She asked me to give her sometime to sort herself out, I said ok and I left.

Now I realize that I really messed it up by going to her place, but I was really concerned that she might harm herself.

My plan is to freeze her out, if she meets in office, be very formal to her and just move on with life. This is going to be a tough decision and I think I will be able to live with it. I cannot trust her anymore.

How do I make sure she doesn't harm herself?

There's also 1% of me which says maybe I should give her a chance and see if things work out.

I am in a crisis. I could really use some help.

Damn this is fucked up, you're using your position at work to control her and she's trying to control you with emotional blackmail. You should be able to just move on without her having to quit her job, and if she was that attached to you she might end up quitting anyway since seeing you everyday will make it hard for her to get over you. Mixing work and your personal life is probably a no-go

You spent all this time trying to get her and then when you did you ended it because of some emails. Every cloud has a silver lining though; if you give her another chance (Which I think you should unless the content of the emails explicitly implied that something was going on) then she probably wont break your trust again because she'll know the consequences and she must be pretty attached to you if she reacted that way. On the other hand she might just be more careful to cover her tracks. Either way I think you should give her another chance and just talk the whole thing over instead of jumping to conclusions and making extreme decisions.

Well done on the f-close by the way!

God why can't I think like you. I see how right you are now. I over-reacted.

But here's another problem.

We met today. She asked if we can keep our personal and professional life different. For her this job is very important and she doesn't want to risk it. I acted AFC and told her I wanted to move on, it wouldn't be possible for me to act normal after all this. It would make the process of me getting over her harder.

She started crying again and got some kind of stroke or probably felt dizzy, she was shivering and didn't react to what I was saying. I was fucking scared, I was going to take her to a doctor. After couple of minutes, she cooled down and all she was saying is "Let me keep my job".

I had no option but to tell her she can keep her job.

One thing lead to another and I asked her why would she do this to me.

She had called her ex yesterday to tell him what happened because of him, he took advantage of it and told her he still has feelings for her. Well this melted my girl who was almost over him and today she says she doesn't think she has completely moved on and she needs some time to figure this out.

I thought I was losing her and I confessed to her that I still love her and want her back (AFC very AFC).

Something you guys need to know:
She broke with her ex a year ago cause he gave her an ultimatum to get engaged and she didn't cause her family wasn't ready for this and they hated this guy. They got back together, and decided they would get married in a court, again she did not show up the day when they were going to get married. Guy got all crazy and did not talk to her for a year. They got back in touch and would talk on and off.

I know for a fact they are not going to work. The guy doesn't really earn well ($6000/yr), isn't successful, he's socially awkward. She said I am the kinda of guy she wants to spend her life with, but she's still stuck with her emotions for her ex.

Obviously I want to get back with her.

We are going to be spending a lot of time working together. Should I try and act like I don't give a fuck about her or should I be normal and show her that maybe I am still interested?


I know this is not my best day and I fucked it up big time. I would have forced myself to get over her if I wasn't going to see her again. But there's a part of me which wants her back.

What should be my plan?

I fucked up big time today.

I couldn't sleep last night because of the fear that I've lost her to her ex. When I got up in the morning, she was still on my mind. I have oneitis for her.

We spoke today and I told her that I'm still in love with her and I might not be able to live without her.

She has been with her ex for a year and then they stopped seeing each other. She is emotionally invested in him. She said she loves him and wants to be with him and is not sure if it will work out.

I have never been so needy in my life, I kept telling her I want to be with her and I will do anything for it.

I guess, she doesn't want to hurt me, I've been very nice to her and she is just trying to take care of me. We were still holding hands and stuff, but she didn't really take any initiative. I think she is doing this out of pity.

I feel terrible about myself, I can't hide my feelings for her. One call with her ex and she's a changed person.

I am in pain and this is affecting my work too. Just can't get her out of my mind.

The problem with me getting over her is "I am going to see her everday for 8 hrs for next 3-6 months" and she reports to me, so there is not getting away from her. Do you guys think, I should stick around or just move on? If I have to move on how do I do it? I can't live with this feeling of being rejected and be normal to her.

I am going out with a HB8 tomorrow, let me see if this changes anything.

I'm VERY disappointment in you.

_________________
On a Mission to be one of the DMV's BEST PUA!!

SPAM id - xhandlessx

Trying

Me too. But I will rise again. You'll see.

Sylar man don't let any girl get you feeling like that. Unfortunately you have fucked her so you can't go with the "I wasn't fucking her before so fuck it" and you did fuck up big time.

Literally the only route is to move on, find some other girl. The girl you work with will probably get jealous. If your only seeing her at work and she brings up the new girl during working hours just say that you will talk to her about it later but in the office is not the right place for it. Be in charge man, its your job!

If she tries to meet up with you outside of work to discuss shit make it the last thing on your "list of things to do today" especially if your gaming a new girl.

I personally think before you and by you I mean SylarJones do anything EVER with girls. Stop, have a think about the consequences of your actions and how you would feel if you were on the receiving end. Then act the complete opposite way to how you were going to act.

Thanks for the solid advice man. I'm feeling much better today.

I freezed her out the whole day and she sent me some 10 messages, emails, tried calling me several times.

I told her I was busy the whole day and had gone on a date with this chick (HB8). She's pissed and sends me some 50 more messages saying, why did I not talk to her the whole day and why am I acting so strange.

She expects that I should keep loving her even when she isn't sure about me.

I'm playing really cool like I don't give shit about this anymore.

After reading all her texts, she sounds really desperate.

Well after going out with this HB8, I realized I can live without her. I'm meeting HB8 again soon.