Well, you can be more direct in expressing your want for her. And provide some sort of emotional connection too. Don't make it all about the lust, women need emotional content as much as they do the physical one to 'connect' to a man. Work on both of these parameters. And I am not telling you to suddenly behave like a Romeo, just when you think that it's a good time to strike the hot iron, strike it (pardon the pun).

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, she's probably unsure about you at the moment. I'd say you try not to worry so much about your "reputation", and if women think a man is a player, that only attracts them more towards him because they want to find out for themselves what is the exact quality which attracts so many women towards the guy. So, don't play it up, but don't outright deny that. Just accept the fact, nod and smile.

No need to call her out on it or anything. Just tell her that she should reply sooner sometimes, she was one of your thoughts yesterday or crap like that. That should make her think that she's not another bimbo you met, or even if it does make her think that, I'm sure you can handle it by telling her she's not an everyday girl.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I am not gonna comment on these conversations, because they're scripted and if you anything about PU, it's that scripted lines and routines are frowned upon now, because they don't keep into mind the human behaviour in the interaction and you can never plan enough.

I have constantly advised people in this thread to not be robots and think of their feet, to talk to women spontaneously based on the replies they get off her. If you browse this thread you will find a lot of openers and a lot of general layouts for a texting conversation, which I have mentioned time and again. And they will serve you much, much better than plotting and planning your way through an interaction of any sort with any woman.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Yeah I know it's scripted and lame, I'm still far from being a natural. Thanks for the input anyway.

Here's a light texting session I had with this massage girl who I met at a poker club. I just want to get a general opinion on whether you guys think I sound AFC, where I could have added some C&F / attraction spikes...and how I could have approached the response side of things more flamboyantly (or is it good how it is)....i always doubt that my text game is up to scratch, so I would really appreciate any feedback and response alterations you might have, so i can get a rough idea of how I should be approaching my responses. I also noticed that my responses are a lot more lengthier than her's...i dont want to be the over investor in these situations, so if you could suggest ways that i could make my texts shorter but crammed with a ton of value i would really appreciate it guys. thanks.

I read a status she posted about some dude in a wheelchair who clearly had feet but still proceeded to act disabled and beg her for money which she ended up giving to him, here's what I opened her with:

ME: rofl...that status is freakin funny.
HER: props for forking out some cash though.

HER: lol cheers.
HER: it was so funny.

ME: a kids gotta do what a kids gotta do to make a living...how else is he gonna buy ice cream and sweets

HER: innit

ME: did you end up winning the crown for ibiza angels (her massage company) best masseuse or did someone beat you to it?
ME: cause I gotta say, Abi (another massage girl the two of us know) sure puts up a fight for that spot...her massages are ace .

HER: you've never had one...so you cant judge.

ME: well she definitely set the bar high, i bet her massage kicks your massage in the butt.

HER: maybe it does...she's lovely.

ME: im glad you agree.
ill get a massage off you when you touchdown next...10 pound for 40minutes, right? (its actually 10 pound for 10minutes, which she knows im already fully aware of...so i tried to over exaggerate and bring a little teasing to the interaction)

HER: yeah...thailands great like that.

ME: thailand? try India, there rates will send you giddy.

HER: i lived there ..i know.

ME: no way...did you learn how to cook a mean curry? cause my belly's screaming abuse at me right now...
ME: ill give you the ingredients, you do the cooking. deal?

HER: deal...although...i dont need your help

ME: great, the kitchens all your's...as long as the food rocks my world im a happy bunny.
ME: i would kill for a curry right now...
ME: might have to get my hands dirty and whip one up myself.

HER: go for it

I didnt know what to respond back to her at this point so I just left it at that. what could I have changed?

So relationship has become quite friendly, i touched her a lot and slept in my bed twice, hugging and kissing but not on lips.. but i never kissed her or had sex only touching her but she would stop me when i tried to reach down. So that was last sat, i froze her off a bit so it would maybe get a kiss out of her.but she still kept on calling and texting.. here are the last messages.

summarised ( sorry for it still being long!).

me: lets meet up saturday, nice n chilled night.
her: Yes for sure
her: you want to come over to my house DVD
me: was more thinking along the lines of cocktails, then maybe we cook some dinner at my house..then some wine. ending the elegantly.
her: sounds good
her: but you dont feel like doing it at my house?
her:Same as u said.
her: and i can wear my pjs hehe
( here i took long to reply she sent 3 messages trying to grab my attention)
me: i see weve run into a heated house battle.
me: if your worried i was going to ask you to sleep over, I wasnt planning to and you need to trust me a little more.
her: nothing to with that at all love
her: i just feel like chilling at home for some time.
...
her: im going throuhg a bit of ibs at the moment.. (

her: relaxed dvd some tea maybe a glass or 2 of wine and an early night.
me: ermm did e get hookup, got married, had kids and got our pensioners card?
her: lol
her: or if you prefer next weekend
... around 10 message explaing she reaelly tired and needs to rest.
me: I understand, ill come over.
me: but we have to trade
her: trade what?
me: next saturday your mine to do anything I please with.
.. lots of various messages trying to understand what i mean and it started goin on sexual ( after i called her kinky, she said damn i do kinky so well!!)
....
her: d deal is relaxed sat night ur house, early night, dinner dvd nd cocktails??
me: no whatever i want
her::)
her: but u said relaxed.
me: No i didnt.
her: i need relaxed
me: but ull relax i promise.
...
her: y do i have the feeling im going to get into some trouble on the 11th?
me: bwahhahaha damn right.
her: oh shit
her:
me: so deal accpeted madam?
her: alrite alrite ur on.
...
her: im in so much trouble i know it.
her: and i love it hihi
her: Ok deal
... the questions and the conversation turned sexual started by her...

her: whats that?
me: its a tidal wave.
her: i like tidal waves deyre smashing haha
her: excuse the pun
me: your such a naughty girl
her:
me: keep it up.
her: kinky shit hehe
...
me : i hope i dont die of boredom on sat (at her hourse).
me: i inmagine ull fall asleep in 2 minutes... hmmm
me: myb i can keep u awake
her: whatever it is im allready prepared hehe.
me: ill bring a water pistol.
her: LOL
me: why were was ur mind going.
me: get ur head out of the gutter. i barely know you!
her: hit me up tomorrow oki?
.... and lots of good night and kisses from her...


Sorry for the mega long chat...but i couldnt shorten it anymore!! please advise me my knee jerk reaction is that im in. PS im posting this in my thread so i keep the thread updated for others.

Thanks

I have to say that she doesn't seem to be interested in the least in the topics you're throwing into the conversation. Indian curry, Who's the better masseuse? and all that are just irrelevant topics. You can do so much with a woman. Ask her questions about herself, her ideas, her goals, her dreams, her wishes, her ambitions and all that. Make her feel as if you are genuinely interested in knowing things about her and just not there for the sex (even if you are) and at the same time, try to say less than necessary. I don't mean just reply with one or two words at most, but reply in a way that it sounds very less has been said, and get her to talk more about herself.

Also, I have always ranted on this topic about how important it is to keep the received:reply ratio as a strict 1:1, and that's not for shit and giggles, but to prevent guys from over-investing, which is what seems to have happened here.

I'd advise you to start looking towards women that you haven't met before and hit them up. At the same time, don't write her off, but do an overhaul of your "game" regarding her. Take the pointers mentioned above and you should do fine.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, you need to stop buying the BS and understand something, she's there for the taking. And you're constantly screwing it up by being a friend, then freezing her out and then again reverting back to your old ways, which is an endless loop leading to nowhere.

Listen carefully, if you decide to be a little closed off ("freeze out"), then you maintain that till a time comes when you find that you have renewed perspective about the girl and can think objectively, OR she comes to your doorstep wearing a trenchcoat and nothing underneath. Whichever happens first.

Starting well and then, returning to your old habits won't do you any good.
Let's see, LOTS OF BS, some significant lines, LOTS OF BS. That's what I got from this conversation.

Firstly, if the conversation is taking sexual turns, you need to amp it up to a level where she wants you with her, then and there. Assuming there aren't any messages of that sort, I'd say that you're holding back unsure about expressing the desire in a more primal way. Don't. Give her all of it. She might act surprised, shocked even, but she won't be able to not think about it.

At the same time, in the last conversation, the highlighted lines are a load of crap. What's the oscillation between a cocky, sexual guy at the start and the unsure, confused idiot at the end? If you have ONE frame, stick to it. Don't start shifting and sliding your way around the interaction. And even if you do want to change frames, the general theme of the conversation should always be kept constant.

Look, right now, she seems to be somewhat into you, but I can't be sure because you've never kissed her, leave alone sleeping with her, so I'd suggest you to not hold back and be unsure about your words or your actions.

Go direct. Go sexual. Go blunt. Go ugly truth.

At the same time, google 'DiCarlo Escalation Ladder' and download the pdf. It should help you loads regarding the physical nature of things.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hello mate quick question

met a girl on Friday and got her number... I waited until Saturday evening to text her and we had a few texts . She's not local to the area so I said I'll take her out the following day .

Anyhow I text her about 1pm but didn't get a reply until about 2:30pm saying she had just got up . I decided to cancel the date straight away saying something unavoidable had come up which she replied "thank god I'm still in bed"

After a few more texts I asked if I could have another chance to take her out which she replied "I suppose so " anyhow we kept texting then she just stopped. I woke up the following morning to two drunk texts asking what I was up to etc.

This kind of pissed me off as she ignored me earlier so i never text her back.
So today 4 days later I text her
Me: hey you ... Sure I've just seen your twin , question is who's the evil one ?
Her : Ha that's funny I've not been out today , how are you?
Me: she looked like an innocent quire girl though .. I'm fine thanks you been up to?
Her: ha I've got bla bla bla on hows you week?
Me : oh what's that for ? I've got an assignment which ive been doing , I'm about to throw it out of the window !

Then she never text me back... What do you think I should do

Thanks for the advice, Don. We spoke for a few minutes on FB today and at the end of the conversation I asked her out:

Me: have to go now but we can get a cup of coffee sometime next week if u want, bye

Her: sorry i was away
yeh if i dnt see u in seminars we can

I wasn't flirting with her yet, I feel awkward doing it online.
The next step is to get her number these days and probably text her next week to arrange a time to meet up. I don't want to sound too needy or pushy, she acts the same way too. Now, I know it's very individual, and it depends on how the date goes, but if everything goes alright is it ok to kiss-close on 1st date, because she's really the kind of girl who doesn't want to seem too easy (although she's half russian haha). But I guess I'll feel whether it's ok to do it or not when the moment comes?

Haha im loving the bluntness, plans for saturday somehow went astray, she said she misunderstood the messages however the sat after is still on. Im gonna to put far more sexual tensions into the messages, as you said. Ive read the ladder however, it applies a lot to a club scene, which is where im taking her the following saturday. well see how it goes.. thanks for the info

Hello Don! I've read through every page of this thread and your advices as everyone has pointed out is absolutely golden.

I've had success in opening stage with quite a few girls but has not done well in continuing the attraction via text. I do well at first, implement both light and funny as well as cocky and funny accordingly, but I seem to eventually text something to a girl that gets them disinterested. Anyways, I met a girl through salsa dancing. We kinoed through dancing and I got her phone # after wards. This is how it goes with her when I texted her:


Me: Hey HB. I hope you had fun last night,. Get ready for round 2 this wednesday.
HB:Hey! Yes I had a grand time last night, and I'm looking forward to Wednesday! See u then!
Me: That's the spirit! If you like Club S, you will LOVE festival S. Just imaging looking down the balcony at a pool party with the orange sun setting beyond the horizons. People dancing in slippers down below. It's priceless: =)
HB: Oh my goodness! That sounds so awesome! will definitly have to go next time! Can't wait
Me: It is indeed! They have it in the summer and on new years eve. Two huge dance floors for salsa and bachata. They even have a ballroom for argentine tango. How sweet is that?
(no reply from her after my last ext)

Next day, we saw each other at the club but we didn't get to dance as there were literally swarms of guys around her. She said she would dance with me next. I didnt want to stand and wait, which I interpreted as DLV. Therefore, I asked another girl to dance. When I was done, I couldn't find her. The night ended with us never really being together except during the initial greeting.

Next day:
Me: Good morning miss popuar. Even though I didn't get to dance with you last night, I hope you had a wonderful time. =)
HB: Good afternoon! I'm sorry I was at my grandmas funeral so didn't have my phone me :/ but I know I had to leave early last night! It was still fine though next time we can dance!!
Me: HB, I'm so sorry for your loss. Let me know if there is anythng I can do to make you feel better.
HB: Its ok... After the funeral I feel much better about eveything. I know she s with God in heaven and happy. It's just not having her physcially here that is hard! But thanks for your kind words, I appreciate it
Me: You're welcome. I have gone through this situation before. So let me know if you would like to talk about it.
(no reply from her after my last text. I may have insisted alil too much in the end)

Two days later, during the weekend:
Me: Hey there HB, hows ur weekend going? I"m celebrating a friend's bday at club G tonight. It's a famous salsa club in LA area. You should join us. =)
HB: Hey! Oh i want to thank you for the message you left me on thursday, that was very sweet!! But you know what I can't tonight, its my mom's birthday and i'm going to be with her! But thanks for the invite! I'd love to go to a salsa club in LA one day and check it out!
Me: Aww. I will just have to dance on your behalf. =) i think family is important. Have a great time celebrating your mom's bday.
(no reply from her again after my last text)

Next day:
Me: HB! Last night was crazy fun at club G. You definitly would like that place. How was the birthday celebration with your mom?
HB: Awe, I wish i could have gone!! Is it 21 and over though? Because i'm 20 :\
me: aww so close! Just kidding, it is 18 and older. There are some interesting dancers there... Like (blah blah blah) I'm glad you had fun. Hope you bought your mom some nice bday presents!
HB: Oh really!? I need to go one day! It sucks when I can't go places because i'm no 21 :\ and yes i bought her a nice gift! How was your day?
me: Hehe your time will come. When will you turn 21? My day consisted of sleep sleep and more sleep. I came home pretty late last night. :\ Then I went to Jamba juice with a friend and the gym later. How was yours?
HB: I turn 21 in April. ANd wow that sounds like a chill day! Totally jealous! Haha but mine was great! i went hiking and got sushi. Had a good time
me: Hey in 3 month you'll be a full fledged adult. My congratulations to you in adance. =) hmm, sushi... Yum! You'll have to invite me next time cause i can sure go for some tiger rolls.
(again... No text from her after that)

From then on I felt i needed to do some flirting as I haven't done any so next day:
me: Hmm just saw a random tv commercial and it somehow got me thinking of you.
HB: hahahaha what as this commercial about?! lol
me: Wells it was a scene with a ballet dancer. Even though we dance salsa, it must be that graceful air that you present on the dance floor which draws the comparison.
HB: hahahahahaha I'm liking that comparison! Well I'll be at Club S on wednesday so we can get a dance in for sure!
me: Yup! You missed out on dancing with the Great [Nickname for myself] last week. This wednesday will be your 2nd chance.
HB: hahahaha ok well i'll try my best to make it happen! Should be fun.

Next day:
me: Hey would you think i'm crazy if I told you i'm heading to the best salsa class in the world and its located in a used car garage..
HB: hahahahaha yes i would!! Lol you are crazy! haha jk
me: Well its true.... our instructor, he's so amazing that blah blah blah.
(no reply from her)

Next day (wednesday):
Me: Meh... such a boring day at work. I think you should draw me a picture today... I've always like dinosaurs. =) (this is material straight out of B4 U Txt heh)
(no reply from her)

That night I met her and danced with her for a few songs. I kinoed as best i could. But she somehow seemed distant even though I've communicated with her for over a week on text. She made excuse for needing to go to the restroom and also saying things like she needed to dance with someone else first as he was a teacher. Because of that, I stopped catering towards her and started going for other girls there the rest of the night. By the time I was ready to leave the club, she was gone already.

The next day i texted this:
Hey good to see you at club S last night. You are turning into a true salsera(great salsa dancer)

There was no reply from that. Overall I thought I did decent, I think the wednesday comment and me overinvesting the day before may have caused her disinterest. I thought I changed frames appropriately when it was a serious topic like a family's passing and light and fun the rest of the time. I may have stuck with the dancing topic abit too much overall... I am usually the last one to finish texting with other girls but she's been the one who's been successful with the Push and Pull affect in these interactions. I've spent alot of time talking to her, is there anyway to salvage this? If not, should I just freeze her out? I just don't think this is going anywhere right now, especially with the fact that she has alot of other guys giving her validation. Also, what was the major mistakes I made in these interactions that you could tell? Thank you in advance for your help Don!

*Update, she replied after 2 days with this:
HB: Hey sorry I never responded! But thanks! You gotta help me get better next time!

I'm thinking of not responding to this as she clearing isn't investing the same interest I have. Maybe I should be more former and distant with her next time I see her in the club? Chances are she'll be there even if I don't invite her.

Don,

Quick convo, just trying to get feedback. Basically went on a first date last night with a girl I have only hung out with once which was six months ago. Date went good, k closed at the end and she invited me to her 21st bday party tomorrow night. I said I might be able to go and id let her know. Heres convo today..

Me- Hey the party tmrw is at your place right?
Her- indeed. You coming?
Me- Indeed. But I won't be drinking much since ill be driving
her- true u can always crash here if need be.
me- thanks but I got work early so doubt ill spend the night. Although it is tempting...
her-fair enough too bad. lol
Me- I'll play it by ear...and touch

She didn't respond to that. I held a very sexual frame throughout the date last night and she was still apprehensive about kissing last night(even with lots of kino). She appologized through text last night for being so nervous about kissing on the first date. Anyways, I'm basically wondering whether my text was bad or if she just didnt know what to say back. Any comment/feedback? I plan on trying to f-close tomorrow night regardless. Thanks

hey don i love the thread. although im sure youve gone through this before i dont have the patience to look through 40 pages of material to find it. anyways i feel i have a sticking point with my text game it seems like i can hardly get it started. when it is started i feel like i can transition into rapport topics to generally build a connection and comfort with her but in general i have trouble getting to that point. so if you could just give a basic outline for text game maybe from oppening texts and getting responses to building comfort and any little advice inbetween also do you suggest trying to set up a date fast or building a lot of rapport and comfort then set up a date?