Hey,

This makes a lot of sense and you're right; I do need to work on my comfort stage more. I suppose I don't do enough to get her into a comfortable conversation. The cube may be a little excessive, but maybe I'll give it a shot. Any other comfort building techniques you got up your sleeve?

Thanks again!

_________________
Cheers,
OptionX

Actually you didn't fail at the "Twiglet" shit test, you just handled the "Oohhhh really?....." comment wrong.

That was an opportunity to tease her a bit, maybe do some disqualification. It's ill-advised to be harping on and on about the same one topic. Eventually, the other person gets bored and leaves. So did she.

Also, if 4 hours and no reply is bothering you so much, you need to re-evaluate your attachment levels with respect to women.

If she doesn't reply, just try to start a new conversation the next day. And keep dictating the conversation by changing topics.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, this makes no sense.

Got her number, well and good. What kind of conversation starter was inviting her to a dancing place with you, without any knowledge of her comfort equation with yourself or how she would feel about such a thing when ,let's face it, she has just met you.

Always keep the initial part of the texting shallow conversation, then move into deeper topics and then, when you feel that there is an easy rapport and a set level of comfort between you and her, ask her out.

That's how this process goes. So, don't jump the steps. Be patient.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, why don't you call her?

I don't think she would take that much amount of silence and laughter and LOLs in a voice conversation.

Another thing, would be to set a more interesting tone of texting, so out goes the general chit-chat, in comes the sexual bantering, innuendos and outright flirting.

High risks, high rewards.

Also, if you are doing something, do it all the way. Not half-way, not almost there, do it all the way.

Then, see how much she answers with "lols" and "hahahhahha" when you're describing how much you'd like to make her feel sensations like no other man before you has.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, that's one line.

I cannot give you anything for one line of text without any reply.

And why apologize? You weren't exclusive with her, were you?

If not, then it's really not her place to be offended by when you are sleeping around with other women.

But, here's a tip. Keep these things quiet next time. Be more aware.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

That's a lot of insecurity there.

First, you leave the girl whom you've been after all this time, for your friends. And then, you expect her to just be alone and sip her drink while you're having a ball with your friends? What's with the double standards?

On top of that, arguing with her for this seems childish and frankly, it must've turned her off as some level.

Her text is nothing more than what it is. She's wishing you a safe journey. Now, you can use this opportunity to apologize for your past behavior and try to rebuild the lost ground. It's what I would do.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Not really.

She is obviously in a position of abundance and as such, is not too much into you or your conversation. Her stock replies give nothing away except an air of politeness. And your questions are basic ones at best.

Separating yourself from the status quo is most important. The general impression of a man on a dating site is that he cannot cut in the real world. So, you need to rise above that. Go for a bit more direct conversations and indulge in some outright flirting with a sexual vibe.

Again, if she is taking her sweet time to reply, you really shouldn't care. Why? Because you should have something better to do than to wait for her next message.

Also, doesn't the said site not provide a "chat" function? That generally guarantees quicker replies.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, it is bound to be a little uncomfortable. Since, the way I see it, this is moving a bit fast for her references with other guys. Just don't focus too much on this negative train of thoughts and feelings, otherwise you will really ruin this good chance that you have with her. Text her with a clear aim of what you seek with her, and try to induce a light, warm SPAM in the conversations so that she feels safe and open with you. And that text isn't too bad. Go with that.

Well, I'd make some normal conversation for a week, and gauge her interest level and if she doesn't come up with a plan by herself for you both to meet, I wouldn't waste more time with her. She's already in a relationship and she's flaked once. Those are solid reasons to move on, in case of her further inaction about the situation between you both.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Trust me. "The Cube" just seems excessive, once it's done correctly, it's one of the best things a guy can do in a conversation. It's an instant connection.

Well, since I already mentioned about having a SS background, I use a lot of NLP material for rapid comfort building. But, that would need a lot of explanation starting from the basics.

Here's a simple NLP routine that you can use, for guaranteed comfort building..

the-nlp-comfort-zone-the-basis-of-all-m ... highlight=

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Text game has always been a stumbling block for me. Thanks everybody for the great pointers here. I'll chew on it a while.

Hi Don,
Need a good opener for a girl which I met but barely spoken. So basicaly I have to remind her who I'm cuz I think she don't even know my name and don't have my number.
Oh and I had to call her day after new years eve to hang out a bit cuz it was last day she's staying in my city but I had too big hangover.... So what you think about this:
"Hey this is your boyfriend from 2011. If you still in (city) maybe you want to meet up?"
EDIT: Oh I forgot rule to tell her... So maybe this one is better
"Hey this is your boyfriend from 2011. If you still in (city) let's hang out."

Hey Don,

Again, thanks for the tip. I checked out the link; it looks very useful. I've been studying some NLP but rarely put it into use because I'm still learning it. What other NLP tricks you got? Sorry for all the questions!

_________________
Cheers,
OptionX

okay so theres this girl ive been talking to for quite a while now ill call her M. M texts me alll time time and almost always sends the first text.
M tells me things she doesnt even tell her best friends and always tries to get me to say things "i love you".... however i hardly EVER see M and she usually has some excuse as to why she cant hang out.
M has also told me that shes been into some other guy for a while, but she always goes off about how she hates him and how hes an asshole.
so what do?

Hi Don,

I met this girl hb 7.5 at new years eve party, managed to kiss close and #close, did well on kino. She even told me that I should invite her for a drink.
Now, should I call her or text her? And what should I text in case texting is a better option?

hey don!
can u tell me what can i do in a situation like this and whether this girl is interested lmao i dont wnana mess things up! so lets call this girl X
i met her in a club and yea number closed dance for a bit held her hand a bit of kino here and there and she told me to call her and well i didnt(mistake #1 i know lol) but we have been texting back and forth which im glad keeping the 1:1 ratio so yay lol
and i've asked her out for coffee and this is the specific text thanks mate
Me: All caught up with your beauty sleep now? hahaha. My school started a bit late so yea thats whyy.

X: Yes i did i ndeed but im still absoutely wrecked. Lol im sodrowsy form my med as well lol so ur gonna be here for Chinese new year?

Me: feel better then!:) ill tell u what, when u get better lets go out for coffee!...its gonna be a riot and nah im not here for cny unfortunatelyy

X: Oh so ur leaving soon so. Yea sure But if im out my canadian frd will b there lol. Shes not leaving till 23rd. ( Her canadian friend is staying here cause she came to visit)

Me: Thats a 2 for 1 special and as awesome as that sounds lmao, i actually wanna get to know u like alone so hmm let me think how thats gonna work loll.

X: hahaha u could think of way to sort it out. Dats ur job lol otherwise u could wait till nxt time ur bk lol what u up to?

Me: ooo playing mind games with me now eh hahaha ill figure something out! i wa sjust out with my fam chilin and stuff..

END
thanks mate please help me on what to do next and if im going in the riht direction would love to improve my text game thanks once again