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Don Draper
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 5:20 pm 
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She:

"Aah and why? :) xx"

That answer really made me pretty speechless and I'm not really sure what she means with it, but I answered with "Because it's been so long since I last saw you duh.." I'm not sure if that was the right answer but I didn't get an answer to that anymore. She did started talking on facebook again but the conversation was rather short and boring, I'm having trouble to keep convo interesting and can't find any good topics to talk about, I have the feeling I need to meet her again!

Any suggestions? :)

Thanks!
Well, I guess stating the obvious doesn't work well in pick-up. :wink: :lol:

Anyway, jokes aside, that was a test, if you had given the right answer, she'd be all over making plans..

Something along the lines of..

"Well, I'll be honest. There's always something special about seeing you in front of me person-to person, a feeling which I can't get through texts or SPAM. :) "

..or such. You get my point right? It's a slightly romanticized, vague reply which will leave her wondering about what exactly did you mean, and then she'll be intrigued to find out. And then, you can propose a meeting.

Either way, the reason why you're having trouble with conversations now, is because you're still fixating on the fact that, she never replied properly to your answer in that conversation.

Don't dwell on it any more than you already have.

Wash your face, take a deep breath and initiate a new conversation. But, this time you know what you have to do, don't you? :wink:

Good luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "
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Don Draper
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 5:34 pm 
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Me: Hey _____ sexy politics girl it's Kier(what she saved herself as in my phone) :) What you up to over the weekend?

Her: Why hello there Kier the third year politics boy :) um, not sure yet, some work and club night tomorrow night. Yourself? xx

Me: I'm seeing ghostpoet tomorrow and cooking a house sunday dinner. I think I can be a fun distraction from your work.

Her: Oh very nice, what're you cooking? Haha and how are you going to do that? :)

Me: Chicken, mash, roasts, pigs in blankets, yorkies the full works. I'm gonna charm you through text, talk about you're beautiful eyes and allude to us going for a drink :) but first I've got to eat my dinner.

Her: Wow I'm very impressed, are you cooking it all yourself from scratch? Haha, very smooth! You eat your tea then :) I'm watching In Brouge

Me: Ye all from scratch, I really like to cook. I'm going to the pub with house mastes so won't be able to text. I'll text you to sort out a drink and we can get to know each other better. Enjoy your film.

Her: Thanks, have fun at the pub :)

This was over the course of two hours, she replied very fast but I couldn't text back that quick because I was cooking. I really want to meet up with this girl but not sure about the best way to go about it. I haven't texted her since friday. Any thoughts on how I did, how I could improve, what to text next and how best to go about meeting up with her would be great thanks.
Well, you need to start texing her. Now.

Look, a gap is fine, but you really cannot take chances with attraction. It fizzles out as quickly as it came in the first place.

And well, her replies seem "nice", in the way that there is some form of interest, but it's not overtly there and definitely not enough to get her to agree to go out with you.

So, for the next week to 10 days or so, text her, call her, and in short put the comfort building and attraction processes in overdrive. Keep flirting with her, when you see the opportunity, don't hesitate to go even sexual sometimes, when you think she will be conducive to that sort of communication. :wink:

Look, be bold. Be determined. Women appreciate those two qualities in their men.

Good luck with this one.

And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "
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brasero
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:02 pm 
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What's the best way to answer a normal "happy birthday" message? Just a plain "thanks"?
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PUAKarma
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:21 am 
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Thanks for the reply Don. Very appreciated advice. I will continue to text her and see how far I can go with this.
Well, happy to help.

And good luck. Keep me posted on how this one went down.
Hey don, so I texted this girl again and said "Hey Ashley, Hows it going?" and I got no response. Not sure what happened here. The first day I texted her she was telling me she thinks im confident and this time she didnt even respond. Never happened to me before so not sure what to think of this. I dont really care much about it so i stopped bothering and Im just going to go get a few more numbers and practice my text with them. If you have any ideas on what could have been wrong I would find it very educational. Thanks again.
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Don Draper
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 11:58 am 
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What's the best way to answer a normal "happy birthday" message? Just a plain "thanks"?
Well, normal begets normal.

It's as simple as that. If she's just being polite, you have to be polite right back.

That aside, there could be another way to approach this by giving her a mock hurt reply, you know, something along the lines of "Really? Just's a "Happy Birthday!"? I thought we meant more to each other than that. :( blah blah blah" and in short, invite her out for a treat and roll from there.

So, those are the two possibilities to approach this.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "
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Don Draper
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 12:01 pm 
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Hey don, so I texted this girl again and said "Hey Ashley, Hows it going?" and I got no response. Not sure what happened here. The first day I texted her she was telling me she thinks im confident and this time she didnt even respond. Never happened to me before so not sure what to think of this. I dont really care much about it so i stopped bothering and Im just going to go get a few more numbers and practice my text with them. If you have any ideas on what could have been wrong I would find it very educational. Thanks again.
Well, it's a normal message. Women rarely respond to normal "Hey! How are you?/How's it going?/What's up?" messages simply because it's nothing special. They won't make the initial efforts with a guy they've just met, because he hasn't displayed any such value which might make them consider him "different" in their minds.

So, instead of that, go with slightly interesting messages, "Hey Ashley! The most craziest thing happened today.." or "Hi Ashley! I was just thinking of you..", that will get them intrigued about what could be the event/thought respectively and intrigue is never a bad thing.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "
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PUAKarma
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 2:50 am 
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Thanks again. Great advice. I tried to make the text a little more interesting with another girl im talking to and it worked like a charm. Much faster reply.
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J Slay
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:25 am 
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yo Don,

I have found your advice to be invaluable. I am able to hold multiple full text convos without flaking. But often times its hard to turn the topic towards a meetup/lunch.

I know that the recommended day to text her back for the first time is like 2-3 days after, but is there a number of text threads you should have until or before you should ask her out on a date? i seem to be shut down on the first text convo or never seem to be able to get around to asking.

Either build comfort or to go for it right away is a question i need to try to figure out. i had this girl on her toes but i think i lost it after our main long convo and i didnt ask her out. Is there a level of comfort or texting IOIs that signal that she is ready for me to ask her for a date? (smiley faces or certain punctuation or etc..).

leave the gun, take the cannolis.

J Slay

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You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
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Don Draper
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:22 pm 
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Quote:
Thanks again. Great advice. I tried to make the text a little more interesting with another girl im talking to and it worked like a charm. Much faster reply.
Well, glad to hear it's working out well.

Good luck ahead. :)

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "
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Don Draper
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:28 pm 
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yo Don,

I have found your advice to be invaluable. I am able to hold multiple full text convos without flaking. But often times its hard to turn the topic towards a meetup/lunch.

I know that the recommended day to text her back for the first time is like 2-3 days after, but is there a number of text threads you should have until or before you should ask her out on a date? i seem to be shut down on the first text convo or never seem to be able to get around to asking.

Either build comfort or to go for it right away is a question i need to try to figure out. i had this girl on her toes but i think i lost it after our main long convo and i didnt ask her out. Is there a level of comfort or texting IOIs that signal that she is ready for me to ask her for a date? (smiley faces or certain punctuation or etc..).

leave the gun, take the cannolis.

J Slay
Well, firstly I'm glad to hear that my words have been helping you.

Now, to the question at hand..

You see, there needs to be a set amount of comfort and attraction which needs to be established before you are asking the girl out on a date. Going for it too soon, will in most cases, end up in rejection and things will only go downhill from there.

Generally, I advise people to put in a good week to 10 days of texting and calling, in regards to a complete stranger, before you ask her out for a casual meeting. Again remember to not make it sound like an intimate affair. First dates should carry the whole casual environment message, so that she is relaxed and has no expectations or discomfort.

Work on developing comfort and attraction with them, as much as you can. The whole waiting before texting her and not sending more than 10 texts a day bullshit, is what I don't believe in.

If you have things to talk about, talk about them. If you have nothing more to say, end it on that note.

Inside tip : The more you talk to her, the more comfortable she gets with you. :wink:

Good luck. Hope I answered your question satisfactorily.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "
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Kier
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:14 am 
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Hey Don,

So I've been texting this girl every other day or so for a week. She always replies and theres been a bit of flirting but nothing too openly overt. What i wanted to know is what's the best way to move from texting to calling her. Do you allude to it in text or just go straight for it? Thanks.
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TheNaturalPlayboy
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:53 am 
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Hey Don,

So I've been texting this girl every other day or so for a week. She always replies and theres been a bit of flirting but nothing too openly overt. What i wanted to know is what's the best way to move from texting to calling her. Do you allude to it in text or just go straight for it? Thanks.



Just go straight for it! don't ask permission like "can i call you?" just go ahead and do it if she's busy or anything just apologize for the inconvinience later.





P.S. Just Checking out Dons thread




-TheNaturalPlayboy

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jcrane5
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:10 am 
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Hey Don,

So I've been going to the casino recently and there's this dealer. Now I realize she's being flirty for tips but I want to see if there's something more. It started with me referring to a song 'Little Bad Girl' by David Guetta and me calling her a little bad girl for taking my money and wanting her to listen to it. Eventually, I told her to give me her number so I could text it to her.

After getting her number, I've been sending what I hope to be flirty text messages that try to qualify her. For example, I wanted her last name so I could facebook her but and I sent this message:
I just want your last name so that I can put it in my phone. So that when I meet another cute Ashley, I can put her in my phone and not be like 'woops wrong Ashley' All innocent! :)

She replied with Jsyk there isn't any other Ashley, I'm the one and only!!! :p (Ashley isn't actually her name)

Then on Thursday night, I went back to the casino and saw her there. I played til closing and texted her to see if she wanted to get breakfast. But she texted back saying she was already far away.

And that's where it is right now. I'm not really sure where to go from here. Do you have any advice?
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iamclosed
 Post subject: texting game
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:45 pm 
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Ok, to summarize, I met this cute HB a week ago through a common friend. Our interaction back then was really good, I'd say I was able to establish comfort back then. She was laughing at my jokes and was having a good time.

But, the problem is she's an exchange student. She only has a prepaid phone(and trust me, prepaid phone lines here in Winnipeg suck) so I can't really call her. Our main way of communication is through fb message, and I thought that it's not that different with text.

Anyways, whenever I message her, although she replies, sometimes it takes so long. Although, I am getting a good reaction from her replies. It is a little hard to keep a conversation going on like this, specially when building that comfort and then asking her out.

Should I continue with this messaging game?
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Don Draper
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:58 pm 
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Hey Don,

So I've been texting this girl every other day or so for a week. She always replies and theres been a bit of flirting but nothing too openly overt. What i wanted to know is what's the best way to move from texting to calling her. Do you allude to it in text or just go straight for it? Thanks.
Well, if it's been a week of texting, then I don't see any problems in going ahead and calling her.

Like TheNaturalPlayboy suggested, you can call her directly, and if she doesn't pick-up, just apologize later.

Or, you can ask her before with a "Are you in a position to take a call? :) " and go from there.

And also, I'd suggest you segue in a bit more open flirting, and express your interest in her. A week of subtle flirting is fine, prolonging that will just send out a message that you're too polite and there is a decent possibility that you might end up "friend zoned" in her books. So, be mindful of that.

Good luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "
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