How to deal with emotionally absent girls



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 1:00 pm 
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Maybe I should increase my teasing
ABSOLUTELY! Tease, bust on her, create sexual tension! Touch her when ever possible.

Even when talking about the weather, hold eye contact, the stare at her lips, then her breasts, then back to her eyes....

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 1:46 pm 
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Without being hard on you at all, has it not crossed your mind to date her at her place?

Even if you can cook just a little bit women do love being taken care of and pampered.

Perhaps offer to cook something for her at her place or you get a take-out with a bottle of wine if you prefer (being the understanding gentleman that you are). :)

Set the scene and lead but you will have to be the one to instigate things.

I learned many times the hard way that to sit back and expect them to ask is quite useless.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:02 pm 
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She flaked on me. :?

She texted me for our daily jogging asking at what time we could meet: 18:00, 19:00 or 20:00.
Usually we always go at 18 because of she has to pick up her daughter. So I texted back: “Ah, today your free! So, let’s have a coffee tonight!”
She said Ok.

But when we were finishing our exercise she asked me: “Do you mind if we get our coffee some other day? Today I got late and still have a lot of thing to do, bla, bla, bla…”
I said “Ok, no problem. See you!”

She really got late because we were supposed to meet at 18 but we only met half an hour later. But, anyway, if she really wanted, I believe she could find a way for usto meet.

So that you can understand what came after, I’ll tell you pieces of our conversation during our exercise.

1 – She had a health problem (in the heart) but didn’t followed the doctors instructions as soon as she knew it was nothing serious. I asked: “So, do you have problems in your heart?” (my voice tone implied romantic problems, she got it and laugh).

2 – I am always teasing her because she is a cleaning maniac. Because she was late, I asked her if she was cleaning something at home. :D Then I told her today was my turn to do some laundry (sometimes I have to do it) but, because it seemed that it was going to rain, maybe it wasn’t a very good decision.

Ok, let’s go to the next chapter…

One hour after she flaked, I got a text from her:

She: “You can do your laundry, it seems it’s not going to rain!” I took this oneas shewas teasing me. She rarely uses smilies so it was hard to say.

Me: “I’m taking care of that. I have my apron on already!”
Then, no answer.


1 hour later I texted her.

Me: “Hi, did you had your dinner already?”

She took sometime to answer...maybe she was thinking I was going to insist for the coffee.

She: “Yes, but I still didn’t took my bath…I got late at the doctor and I had to go shopping something to eat, etc” (she was, again, justifying why she decided to postpone our coffee)

Me: “Ok, ok…I texted you because I finished my laundry and I thought you could come to my place to help me hung it up.” :lol:

She: “Ha, ha, ha…I have a pain in my back!”

Me: “Ah, these neighbours…when it come to joke, that’s fine. But when it comes to help…” (she’s my neighbour)

She: “I could go, but my doctor told not to make too much efforts”

Me: “I see… this afternoon you didn’t care for the doctors instructions. But now that's a dfferent story. :wink:

She didn’t replied anymore.

Any tips?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 9:46 am 
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It's not too bad so far and she does seem to have genuine commitments.

You are building trust and rapport which is good.

I personally avoid too much text game or email chat as I feel attraction builds more in person with a women. Do NOT text her too much and NEVER more than she does, it looks needy.

Which country or state are you from?

I am pretty much international at times and IMHO although women are females everywhere which means they need to be fucked hard and often, sometimes the social cultures are different.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:01 pm 
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It's not too bad so far and she does seem to have genuine commitments.

You are building trust and rapport which is good.


Yeah, I'm feeling that too. It could be better but it was what came out. :) Basically I need to regain it. She was the one who started to make invitations but, becauseI was too AFC, maybe she lost partially her inteest.
Quote:
I personally avoid too much text game or email chat as I feel attraction builds more in person with a women. Do NOT text her too much and NEVER more than she does, it looks needy.


Right. In the last sms I should have added a "Good night, see you tomorrow!"
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Which country or state are you from?

I am pretty much international at times and IMHO although women are females everywhere which means they need to be fucked hard and often, sometimes the social cultures are different.
I live in PT. But hee we have several cultural backgrounds. In my city, there's a mix of country people (much more conservative) with city people (more layed back). And in this case, she's a mix of them all. Hence my initial hesitations on how to dea with it.

Today I'm going to spend my weekend out of the city. Maybe she'll text me again to tease me. :wink:


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:07 pm 
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Good post.

PT? You mean Pacific Time?

I use the phone to call rather than text and mostly just to set up the next RDV each time.

JMHO but women often cannot understand the humor and teasing unless it's obvious and right in their face in person.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:37 pm 
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PT? You mean Pacific Time?
No, it's more +0 GMT... :) Portugal
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JMHO but women often cannot understand the humor and teasing unless it's obvious and right in their face in person.
In the past I used to sarge online a lot. So, I got the habit of using lots of smilies. even when texting. Obviously, to call is much better.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:13 pm 
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Oh fuck man I thought you were from the States.

Much easier with American girls, they fucking game the guys a lot of the time. Last time I was in NY I could not get over how forward they are.

Ok I digress. Well for a Portuguese girl I have no experience but I have with Spanish girls so lets assume they have the same kind of wild Latin emotions and want to be romanced etc and need to feel things happen 'naturally' as part of the process of fate (fuck that).

Remember the ones who have the highest 'spectrum' of emotions will be easier to game with lots of teasing and compliance tests and the more frustrated a women gets the more she is aroused:)

They do shit test so be prepared to call her down on this type of thing. I love Latin girls but they do need fucking taming hard!

JMHO but the rules of the game still apply exactly the same but maybe at a slower pace.

Tease, kino, push/pull, close, are all the same but slower with more initial trust and rapport building.

She must be made to understand though that you are attracted to her and do not want only a friendship.

Escalate slowly and be prepared to shut her down as a punishment for any non compliant ways or extremes of emotions.

You cannot in any way be AFC with Latinos, or they lose respect and friendzone.

I am trying to game an Italian at the moment and she is 34 but mentally like a child. I find with her a ratio of 2:1 push / pull is working slowly but it's taking me some time as I cut her off regularly for being childish.

That's why I game 4/5 girls at the same time as they are at various stages of seduction:)

I know that when I do fuck her she will be all over me and shopping for a ring the next day which she ain't ever gonna get:)


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 12:29 am 
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Oh fuck man I thought you were from the States.
Haven’t you noticed my not so good English? :D
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Well for a Portuguese girl I have no experience but I have with Spanish girls so lets assume they have the same kind of wild Latin emotions and want to be romanced etc and need to feel things happen 'naturally' as part of the process of fate (fuck that).


I couldn’t put it better myself. They want romance, lots of it, but they need to feel that is “natural” and spontaneous. If they get suspicious of your game, they think “this guy just want to get laid”. And then, even if they feel attracted to you, they automatically flee. Obviously, they are not all like that, thank god. :lol:
Quote:
They do shit test so be prepared to call her down on this type of thing.
In this particular case, what kind of shit tests she will probably do? Any ideas?
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She must be made to understand though that you are attracted to her and do not want only a friendship.
I think now she’s starting to realize it. :wink:
Quote:
Escalate slowly and be prepared to shut her down as a punishment for any non compliant ways or extremes of emotions.
In this case, if I wanted to shut her down because she flaked on our meeting, what would you do? I had to punish her, but also show her that it was not a big deal.
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That's why I game 4/5 girls at the same time as they are at various stages of seduction:)
Nowadays that’s what is called multitasking. 8)
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I know that when I do fuck her she will be all over me and shopping for a ring the next day which she ain't ever gonna get:)
Nasty!!! :lol:


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:58 am 
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For a start your written English is excellent. I speak 3 languages with English as my first and I want to learn Spanish next but only because I want to go to Argentina and Tango with lots of Beauties:)

Shits tests? her behavior and what she says to you. She flakes - you cut her off.
Silly questions? - Ignore or change subject and tease.
Childish Latino emotions? - Push her away and more ignoring.

Read my friend. D'angelo, Zuma, MM. All good to learn that it's really how we perceive ourselves that causes us to act in a certain way.

Attraction is not a choice but one we create in their minds and then they feel "it just happened naturally".

I read everything possible when I first was learning but in practice it takes some getting used to new methods in order to set up a new mind set as we have been brainwashed too long by dumb films and media. Pretty Women? Sleepless in Seattle? BS!

These films are total shit and degrade the male race.
In fact do exactly the opposite of the men in these type of films.

Californication is much more of a mans way of being. Try watching a few episodes.

Do you live on a desert island just the 2 of you? or are there thousands of women in Portugal?

You are the selector not her. If she pleases you and behaves correctly then and only then will you consider her as suitable!

Very hard to give exact specific advice here as I do not know her or her financial circumstances or daughters age etc. I do know that divorce in Portugal is not as common as some other countries and udt that she is wary but she is still female with all the desires and needs like the rest of them.

Get her to go to a Salsa dance with you or even better a Tango. I can't even fucking tango properly so I just use a strong frame and walk and lead. Gets the job done though:)

By definition once a girl has agreed to dance she has consented to be in your arms and they all love it!

Like I said before, food at her place is Ok as well.

Do not be AFC, it's demeaning to all of us and oneitus is like poison to an Alpha Male.

Let her run after you and then you reward her compliance.

JMHO but things seem totally upside down in the dating world at the moment and have been getting worse over the last 50 years.

Thank God for the PUA community and Strauss, Mystery et al so maybe, just maybe we can start to find ourselves again as real Men and realize with certain truth that WE are the prize and WE tell them and WE lead them!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:00 am 
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For a start your written English is excellent. I speak 3 languages with English as my first and I want to learn Spanish next but only because I want to go to Argentina and Tango with lots of Beauties:)
Thank you!
Spanish and Portuguese are very similar. If you learn Spanish, then you can go to Brazil too (or Portugal). :wink:
Quote:
Shits tests? her behavior and what she says to you. She flakes - you cut her off.
How would you cut off a girl that flaked on you? A small example would be fine.

When I joined the seduction community a few years ago one of the main difficulties I had (and still do) is to identify a shit test when it is happening.
As you said, at that time I’ve read many books on the subject and many DVD’s (D’Angelo included) and I could reach, at least, partially, the mind frame needed to pick-up. I also used auto-hypnosis and studied (and used them myself) a lot of NLP techniques.
Today I can put myself on that state very easily by auto-sugestion and NLP techniques but, as I said, I can’t identify easily a shit test…and many times everything fails because of that. :evil:

At this moment, I think that, basically, everything that goes against my intentions can be treated as a shit test. At least, for a start, that’s a way to see it.
Quote:
Do you live on a desert island just the 2 of you? or are there thousands of women in Portugal?
Well, that would make things easier. :D I’m not focusing in this specific girl, I have another “project” that might generate a few additional threads in this forum in a few days. :wink:


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:20 am 
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Keep us all informed with your progress.

Flake can mean different things and I believe the term originated in USA because most (all? lol) girls there are 'flaky', superficial and unable to focus properly. LOL

To flake in my opinion means no contact and just not replying or showing up for a meeting without prior notice.

Generally although they are childish and emotional I have found that once French, Spanish. Italian girls make an arrangement or date with you then they will honour their word or at the very least inform you in advance if the plans need to be changed.

It's just a matter of being educated and well mannered and I have never had a girl 'flake' nor would I ever tolerate it as IMHO it's an appalling lack of consideration.

I do not think she has 'flaked' on you from what you have said so far, more a case of her being wary and maybe timid and you not escalating.

You must get this girl out somewhere.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:07 am 
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k firstly, don't smack her ass, that sounds downright retarded to do to a girl who is being distant and non responsive

2nd, is it that she is emotionally distant, or is it that you suck and she doesn't like you?

if she's being distant, why don't you find out whats up with her and ask her, you can call her out without being hitler and saying BITCH GET IN THE GAS CHAMBER FOR NOT TALKING, that's a little far, simply asking ''why are you so quiet lately whats up?'' is good, and if she's like, no reason, then obviously she doesn't give much of a shit about you enough to tell you, and if a girl is ignoring you when you speak, that's something you should certainly address by either

a) not paying attention to her and moving on with your life because she clearly thinks very little of you

b) calling her out on her dis-respect, once again, don't have to be hitler and offer her to answer or get the gas chamber, but a simple ''what do you have a-d-d or something?'' ''god is every girl hard of hearing or some shit?''works fine


now, you haven't tried to sleep with her either, what's up with that? why do you care about a girl who seems distant when you haven't even had sex with her, not talking to girls much are you?

from my point of view, she was probably into you, tried to give you a chance, and you turned out to not be emotionally what she wanted and now she is not interested, not much of a shit test or magical turn around here, if you suck, you suck, not much you can do to fix that besides not sucking, and actually trying to sleep with her, and sucking is relative to the girl, so if you suck with her, you may not suck with others, but generally emotional distance is not a common thing, dis-interest is though, and a lack of responsiveness and investment points to dis-interest more then some emotional problem

you escalate and she isn't down, then you have your answer to her level of interest, pretty much that simple, and if she turned off from you, you won't create interest out of thin air, there has to be something there already for you to build on, and it's easier to kill interest then it is to create it when a girl is on the run, always easier to walk away and find a new one, then fix one that is broken

also flaking in a pattern when you have rapport is a good sign that she's low on interest in you, rather then anything else


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:30 pm 
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By flaking on me I mean she changed our plans (she asked, 2 hours before, me if it was ok).
Quote:
from my point of view, she was probably into you, tried to give you a chance, and you turned out to not be emotionally what she wanted and now she is not interested
I suspect this is what is happening. As I said before, my initial attitude and behaviour were my enemy in this case. I was somewhat anxious and, although I tried to hide, obviously she noticed. I have this flaw: I need several dates to feel confortable, which is now starting to happen…but maybe too late.

Is it usual for a girl to regain the initial status of attraction for a guy when she notices that he’s not how he was showing on the initial conversations?


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:55 pm 
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Now, she now might be thinking “I got him where I want!” so it’s time to back off… it worked before, so it might work now too. A little Push & Pull
Time to move on to my next “project”…this one is suspended until she comes back (hopefully).


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