Don,

I asked you last week with a more specific (hb twin) texting situation. After number closing about 8 chicks in the past week, I am finding a certain point in my conversations where i either make it or break it, sometimes even with a girl that i did K-close.

I can use the good text openers or figure out funny unique ones for each girl, so opening is not a problem. But I am having trouble finding the hook point in the texting game. I have tried keeping my texts only sexual with no success. Texts with only cocky funny attitude but it always eventually dries up. The last time i was successful in the text game was with that hb twin who actually had a very interactive convo with me and kept giving me IOIs. She eventually flaked bc she found a new bf but thats a different story lol

What can i do after the often absurd yet funny text openers to build attraction/comfort with me via text? I've read about different strategies but I would like to hear the opinion of The Don.

Slayin all the ladies around the world,

J Slay

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Slayin ladies all around the world

You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
- Wayne Gretzky

I got a similiar question. I can play the cf text game real well but just like j slay said it tends to die out after a while. i read in one of your earlier post tht texting about deep topics makes a strong connection with women. How do i transition from the joke/role playing texts to a deep convo?

Here's an example of my texts this is the second girl ive ever texted with and i honestly have no idea if i did good or bad because it seems like she went kinda bitchy at the end.

me: excuse me but are you the stripper i met last night?
HB: hahahahaha no but propz to you where'd you go?
ME:u wanna hear about my stripper expierence? U want the naughty details too?
HB:Lol whatever you wanna share. monday night+ strip club= I obviiously don't judge
Me: would you ever strip
HB: no I'm boring like that
Me: no you just got class but i am disappointed
HB:well apparently you're pretty classy yourself considering you thanked a stripper for her services the next day...
ME: I know

I too have a problem.

I've been texting this girl for a couple weeks now, usually every other day or so, the conversations are stretched out between moments in between school and work. The conversations usually last a good amount of time.

I've noticed she uses a f*** load of '!' marks and smiley faces, which doesn't bother me as much. She always makes her texts very short, which makes me feel like I'm just talking to a brick wall that wishes I'd go away.

Is there something I can do to make her reply with more thought than just a few words? Most of the conversations are me trying to initiate her to talk a bit more, or me just talking most of the time. We've texted at late night a few times, nothing flirtatious though. Most of the conversations have been just basic information / what are you doing kind of things.

The one thing I have managed to do is 'get' her to owe me a phone conversation, where I occasionally bring up that we need to talk on the phone soon, to which she replies she knows and will let that happen soon.

I'm looking at this very pessimistically, but trying to stay in it.

Any pointers or info would be very helpful.

Thanks.

Hopping in here.

You can't "make her" do anything. Lose that mentality. You aren't interesting her enough, or giving her enough to talk about for her to respond with longer texts.

You made a joke that she owed you a phone conversation. Don't press this. Either call her or don't call her. To stress that she has to talk to you soon is so needy. You're forcing her into something that she should choose willingly. (Also "let that happen"?? Was that how you meant to say it? Awful frame)

And finally, lose the pessimism. It won't get you anywhere.

Good luck!

heya don!!

so i got this girls number that i met at a house party a couple of nights ago. we hit it off pretty well. so of course there was alcohol involved, but i was pretty straight so i remember a lot that night, and from what i remember she was pretty steady herself and she did a lot of the talking

i waited till the next day to txt her and said the usual "hey, how did you pull up from the other night blah blah" anyways we txtd for a couple of days talking about the same topics from the night we met though she took her sweet time to reply which i figured she was busy. towards the end of the text convo her replies were getting short and blunt. so i decided to bring up a topic she spoke about the night we met. she replied with " i usually dnt forget stuff wen im drunk, im starting to get freaked out, but you have good memory" so i replied to that text ending it with "blahblah blah... anyways i should let you go, you seem busy"... no txt back

so my issue is:
1) should of i ended that convo like that?? (i guess i freaked out when she said she was freaked out. i didn't wna seem so forward and creepy)
2) how do i initiate another txt after i ended the old convo like that. how long do i wait?
3) am i just reading too much into her late and blunt replies as being not intrested

need the help
thanks

Well, that highlighted text over there is the problem.

Look, routines are great, take it from me, they change the entire direction of the approach, but after you have successfully got their numbers, you need to become a bit more 'normal', shall we say?

No one wants to read sexual texts all the time.

No one wants to deal with a cocky guy all the time.

I'm not against either of those texts, I am against over-use of them. You see, women want to have a normal conversation with men they are attracted to, most of the times. She wants you to ask about her day, wants to know about yours, stuff going on in your life, her life.. and all that. What she doesn't wanna read are "I am imagining you naked covered in chocolate sauce" and "Hey punk! Whatcha upto?", simply because she's not in that mood all the time that she might want to even respond to that.

So, instead have normal conversations. Like you have with the people close to you? I am sure you don't go all sexual or cocky-funny on them? That way.

The Don abides.

Good Luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

There's a lot of discourse in your texts.

Like, you started off with one place and ended up at completely another, going to various different points in between. There is no fluid direction of your texts.

"I obviously don't judge" was a comment you could have used to tease her about.

"Duly noted, Your Honor. " could have been a reply to that.

"no you just got class", well that was a qualification which was completely unnecessary, let's face it you asked her if she stripped, she said she was 'boring', if she didn't praise herself, why did you?

Look, there is a very fine line between being cocky and being arrogant, people often tend to overstep that, it might work with a few women in bars who like men being slightly brash, but in the long run it just gets downright annoying. CnF is fine, but also be your normal self, surprising as it may sound she'd like that too.

Good luck.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

So, you've been going at it with her and still not had your first phone call, never mind the first meeting. That's not a good sign.

Look, I am usually all for seeing the glass half full, even going as far as to saying its twice the height that it should be , but I can't help but feel a little off about her interest.

If you want to get anywhere with her, you need to start an complete upheaval of this 'relationship' as you know it, no more quick replies, be short and curt.. she will wonder what happened to you, and will ask, just say that you're re-evaluating things and nothing more than that.

And also remind her, that while you appreciate her presence in your life, unless there is tangible communication if not in person, then through calling, you don't see this going anywhere. And tell her you're sure she can find a thousand men to 'entertain' her on her usual nights.

Be firm, not disrespectful. Be determined about your thoughts, but don't be impolite to her.

Whatever be the outcome of the conversation, you know where to go from there. There are roughly 250 million single women on the planet. Enough for everyone in here, and more.

Good luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hello bigsledge.

Now, I read your post in its entirety and I'm going to answer all of your issues one by one.

1) Well, women use "freak out" a bit too much these days, it's just her way of expressing shock at her antics, don't worry too much about it. You won't come off as creepy or too forward, she's just being herself, don't think too much about it. Okay?

2) Since you are the one who closed off the line of communication, let her be the one to initiate it. That way you'll know two things : A) How serious she is about keeping in touch with you and B) The answer to your third query.

3) Wait it out. You'll get the answer on your own.

Good luck.

And let me know how it goes.

If not with this one, then with the next. That's our motto.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hey, one quick question!

Im talking with the same girl yet, i already went out with her. I put my "cards in the table" im Direct and she did the same. We usually talk every day, but in the last week i sent her a text at 14hpm and she reply at 21h pm. i take almost every time a lot too, depends of her. I reply again and her dont reply me for 3 days. I send her a text very direct on 30 September and that she dont reply me, where i said that something like i want go out again, to a different place, because she is special and i want be with her. I already think that was fucked, but yesterday 1 Septemb. she reply where she ask to apologize because she doesn.t have money in phone this days. I only reply 1h ago! She dont talk about my last text about the "date"... and i dont talk about it too! what is the best to do?

Continue talk with her? Fluffy talk? Talk again about the date? Let her talk about it? Ask again?

Heya

Got this HB8.5 on the go, my text game as far as im aware is on the ball, im negging and c&f. However she isnt really replying to my texts, she will make a small comment on it, then talk about something completely random. So i neg and c&f on that and the same happens again and again. Is it just her way of texting, its hard coz i cant see the smiles or laughs behind the black and white.

Do i keep on doing what im doing, as she keeps replying or do i change/up my game?

"So I'm negging" Be careful with your negging. Sounds like you are doing this often. A neg isn't to be used all the time.

If she keeps talking to you, and changes the topic every so often, she enjoys talking to you, and loves CHANGE obviously. Don't linger too much on one topic, this girl obviously doesn't like that.

This is probably her way of texting, OR you don't give her enough room to answer on the things YOU say. Read back your own texts and see if you can really give a real answer to them. You might not have given her a real thing to reply to.

She could simply be a boring girl that doesn't know what to talk about or how to decently reply to the things you say to her.


I'd say you analyse if you leave enough room for her, if your texts are interesting and c&f enough (don't over the c&f, just like the negging) for her to keep her interest in texting with you.

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She was hungry for da coq

Ah i would probably say i am negging too much, looking at it pretty much every other text atleast, but i am adding in a compliment here and there on a ratio of 2 negs to 1 compliment. Looking back i am narrowing my chances of reply slightly, however im trying to direct her in a way so i can make more fun out of it. Well im getting the lols and cheeky and winky faces come up allot whether thats just overused habit or generally meant to add emotion to the text which the later seems more reasonable. Ill try opening it all up and reduce the negging, as if im getting more comfortable around her and dropping my guard slightly in a way that shes qualifying herself to me.

Thanks

Well, if she didn't bring it up, you shouldn't either.

In fact, that tells you one thing : that she is still not at the level where she is willing to meet you in the whole "date" setting. Which means two things :

1- You still haven't built enough attraction with her.

2- Lack of an established comfort level.

Focus on those two points and work towards achieving them. Once you have, you'll be fine and she won't ignore those date texts any more.

Good luck.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, that's because she's following the basic rule of communication that,

" If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation." Smart girl.

Anyway, now you can do two things here :

1- Call her out on changing the conversation and ask her the reasons why she won't respond to your CnF messages. Personally, I don't recommend this.

2- Go with her flow and instead, use her random topic to create more CnF moments. That way, you're playing your game in her field and she won't be able to change the conversation too much, because she was the one who changed it to her suitability in the first place. So, do this one instead of the first. I would.

Good luck with her and thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "