Hey guys. I'm new to game, and I'm trying to get out of the mindset of an AFC. I'm trying to get into using banter lines constantly, with hopes that if I integrate them into my daily socializing I will just naturally use them.

So, there's a girl I sit by in one of my lectures. I went to high school with her, long story short not interested in her at all we are just friends. However, I was talking with her in class and I asked her if she wanted to do some classwork with me. We set up a time and she found out later that it would not work. Here's the conversation:

HER: Hey, I'm sorry but that time is actually during one of my classes. I totally missed that. So I can't do it. Sorry!
ME: What??? (her name), you just broke my heart! How could you betray me so!? I can never talk to you ever again.
HER: Ha. Ok. Sorry.
ME: It's okay. Admitting is the first step
HER: Lol.

That was the whole conversation. I didn't reply to her after that. Good banter? Total shit? Suggestions? I didn't know what to make of it because of the one word reply. Again, I'm not interested in her, I'm just trying to practice banter.

You mean you want to practice making conversation ? Lol ok. I've never heard it put like that.

Ok so I read your convo with the girl. And it was pretty terrible. No offence. But there are so many things you can do to improve don't worry AT ALL.

We can go through an analysis of why it's bad. And it can be comllicated. It's like trying to explain why a joke is funny. It's all the subtle things, all the sub-text, what the underlying communication that takes place is, apart from what you verbally said (or texted in this case).

So I'm not going to do that yet. No actually I will, at the end but just the short version.

For now, what you need to do, is to focus on small talk and keeping it light.

Let's try this approach.

If a girl says : sorry I can't make it tmr for our appointment because of bla bla bla
A good response from you should be : ahhhh. In soooo sad right now because I just cancelled ally appointments just for YOU.

Or

: ah cool. No big deal.

Or

: yeah don't worry about it. But we should work something out on another day cause I find i learn so much better when there's someone else to bounce ideas off.

If you chose A, than you're wrong. Especially for your situation.
Stop choosing A. Choose either B or C.

C if your more confident that she finds you at least aittle bit interesting.

Ok now the Analysis:
When she's like "oh so sorry can't make it" and you say "ohhhh my goddddd you broke my heart". Your reaction is way to excited. And it's also a clear sign your trying to flirt (even if you weren't). It's just too interested.

I can tell that you were trying to go "cocky and funny". But it doesn't mean that when you say something cocky and funny verbally, that's what's going to be communicated to her, in general. It's moly just the words that matter, but EVERYTHING that gets perceived by her.

In this case, you're saying a couple of undesirable things
1) you're way to interested. (Very calm and collected message from her. Very exaggerated overly hyped response from u, even if the words u said were cocky n funny, n the funny is debateable)
2) you don't get what she's saying to you. She have you like a two word response that didn't even acknowledge what she said. When u replied again with another cocky funny line.

So what u need to do is just start to normalize your conversations. Don't try too hard, and don't try to impress. Talk like you. But be as confident a you as possible.

See if that helps. Don't stop there though. Gotta keep improving.

Gd luck.

_________________
Musician, Gym Junkie, Entrepreneur, Dating Expert.

Navigating Social Relationships
http://datingcoachsingapore.com

We have an extensive body of knowledge.

We have the BEST MINDS you will ever find on social-interaction and relationships.

And stop saying "practice banter" haha.

_________________
Musician, Gym Junkie, Entrepreneur, Dating Expert.

Navigating Social Relationships
http://datingcoachsingapore.com

We have an extensive body of knowledge.

We have the BEST MINDS you will ever find on social-interaction and relationships.