| Hey Guys,
I haven't used this much, but I've really appreciated advice given so far! Thanks in advance for any help.
I'm not trying to write a novel, but I think the devil is in the details, so I hope you'll take the time to read through this!
I was on a climbing trip with a big group when I remet HB9.5. Last time I met this girl it was on a climbing trip a year and a half ago. I played it cool, DHV'd, and did some negging, and got some IOIs, but I quickly found out she has a serious boyfriend. I wasn't confident in my ability to break that one up, nor did I want to be a home wrecker, so I played it cool for all further interactions. I leave for a year.
So two weeks ago, I'm sitting around the campfire after climbing, and she and a friend sit right next to me, and engage me in conversation (can you say LUCKY?). Her and I actually have a great conversation. My mind is made up: I don't give 1/2 a fuck about her boyfriend.
Next day, through a little work, I get her clique of people to come climb with us, and lead them to the best place to climb. I go to climb a certain route, and she offers me her rope, even though she is leaving soon, saying I can get it back to her later. She asks me if I have a membership to the local climbing gym (I don't have one), and that we should climb there. She gets my number. I play it cool, and say we should go climbing outside sometime.
Next day, back in town, she sends me a friend request on FB, and messages saying we should get out climbing soon (on her rope). I get back to her, probably too quickly, saying we should go on Thursday. Now, I get no response. No problem- probably she has to work, right?
My operating theory is that she really wants a group setting to feel comfortable hanging out with me. She needs a strong ASD, especially since she has a boyfriend.
So, last weekend, putting this theory to the test, I fucked up. I invite her to climb with me and some friends- though secretly I figured they weren't going to make it. As you might guess, the friends bail, I explain the situation, and she bails saying "maybe sometime this week."
So that's where I am. I imagine you'd agree: the next move is critical.
I don't want things to cool off, and for her to have any change of heart, so I need to act fast. It's (obviously) going to be really difficult for me to organize a group of people to go climbing in the middle of the week.
As I see it, I have two options: a) try to get her to come climbing by herself, b) join the gym so she can feel ok in a group setting, but do so in a way so as not to make her suspicious that I'm joining for her (I do actually need a membership, fortunately).
1) Am I tripping? This girl is clearly in to it, right?
2) Any suggestions on dealing with her ASD, and how to isolate if we do hang out in a group? Any thoughts on how to deal with girls with boyfriends?
3) Other ideas on what my next move could be?
Thanks again!!
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CHAT