Seeming needy vs being persistent ?



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PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 4:45 pm 
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Hb9, first date good convo, kino, but no kiss. Texted her 3 days later to say had a nice time & made a joke about something we talked about. She answered back immediately and said she had a great time and really enjoyed our conversation.

3 days after the text, I called her up with an invitation for another date, she didnt answer. I texted her a bit later (like 1h later) saying I called to hear whether she was free the next day or the one after that. She answered back (within 20 mins), but didnt really answer my question. Just said that she didnt hear the phone and then that she was having a job interview the next day. Wrote her back a pull-push message regarding her interview and she answered with a smiley.

The overall vibes I've gotten from her so far have been good and I felt that she was into me.

Do I:
a) Play it cool: wait for her to contact me, if she doesnt then move on for now and try to reestablish contact sometime later.
b) Be a bit persistent and risk seeming needy: Text her something tomorrow ("ex: My invitation for today is still open. If you're feeling adventurous, let me know before 3pm"), to try and ellicit and answer from her.
c) Any other ideas ?


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:53 pm 
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Quote:
Hb9, first date good convo, kino, but no kiss. Texted her 3 days later to say had a nice time & made a joke about something we talked about. She answered back immediately and said she had a great time and really enjoyed our conversation.

3 days after the text, I called her up with an invitation for another date, she didnt answer. I texted her a bit later (like 1h later) saying I called to hear whether she was free the next day or the one after that. She answered back (within 20 mins), but didnt really answer my question. Just said that she didnt hear the phone and then that she was having a job interview the next day. Wrote her back a pull-push message regarding her interview and she answered with a smiley.

The overall vibes I've gotten from her so far have been good and I felt that she was into me.

Do I:
a) Play it cool: wait for her to contact me, if she doesnt then move on for now and try to reestablish contact sometime later.
b) Be a bit persistent and risk seeming needy: Text her something tomorrow ("ex: My invitation for today is still open. If you're feeling adventurous, let me know before 3pm"), to try and ellicit and answer from her.
c) Any other ideas ?
a) at least for a few days/week+

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:22 pm 
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I've gone for option a. Didn't contact her, and so far she hasnt contacted me either.
On friday, I'm having a house party, that she's already been invited to. Guess I'll wait and see if she shows up and take it from there if she does.

I don't understand tho why she's lost interest so suddenly. Could it be that it's just some sort of test, or she wants me to chase her ?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:45 am 
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I've gone for option a. Didn't contact her, and so far she hasnt contacted me either.
On friday, I'm having a house party, that she's already been invited to. Guess I'll wait and see if she shows up and take it from there if she does.

I don't understand tho why she's lost interest so suddenly. Could it be that it's just some sort of test, or she wants me to chase her ?
Some girls just won't message you first, at least until you've fucked them once or twice. Then they have a habit of messaging over and over. The way to not be needy is to message once then say nothing until she replies (if you she hasn't replied after a day or so you can say "well?" and leave it).

Don't over think it, game more girls, get more opportunities so that one girl doesn't even register.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:15 am 
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"She answered back (within 20 mins), but didnt really answer my question."
"I felt that she was into me."
Really? You still feel that way?

Take option C: move on to the next one.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 11:00 pm 
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You may have telegraphed too much interest too soon. Keep in contact with her; this might not be worth throwing in the towel just yet, but don't invite her to anything. Send her a neutral text that requires no commitment on her end, but demonstrates value. Girls love getting random, wacky texts. One of my favorites was "The girl at the street meat cart looks exactly like you! I ordered a cheeseburger and I swear I think she just gave me a veggie burger! BEEEYOOOTCH!!!"

If she keeps responding, you can pull her back in. If not, I wouldn't try this more than a couple of times and then move on.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:25 pm 
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I'm with Mattr1984 on this one. Some girls won't text you first, even though they are interested. Reached that conclusion by being persistent with a couple of them


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 12:20 am 
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"She answered back (within 20 mins), but didnt really answer my question."
"I felt that she was into me."
Really? You still feel that way?

Take option C: move on to the next one.
Pokee is right.
If you play cold just to reestablish contact you're being needy, that's how you'll get Oneitus.
Other than that maintain your Alpha frame, you're having a party with girls, socializing, fun and whatever else so don't say "Invitation is still open" be more carefree of whether she shows up or not, she's a guest not the party itself.

Also, eliminate this 'HB' mentality. She's an attractive girl, there's dozens of them everywhere and if she plays cold then that's her fault. Don't get stuck on her by thinking that without her you've lost a limb.

Now shoo, go find another girl to gift with a good time!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 3:01 am 
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being persistent means working the long game. Instead of texting her every day or two for a couple weeks until she tells you to fuck off, text her every other week or so for a few months. That is non-needy persistence.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 5:22 pm 
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I think you waited too long. You went out on a date and waited 3 days before you texted her. Then another 3 days before the next text. I know we PUAs run our game based on rules, etc., but they are only guidelines.

Regardless, seems like she'd been waiting on you when you sent the first text after 3 days. You two were playing and joking around -- I would have said something cocky like, "yea yea I know you've been thinking about me nonstop since our date. Tell you what, I'll put you out of your misery and take you out tonight...." or some variation of that. Lead her. I'm 90% sure she would have said yes. Go for some activity oriented date like bowling, etc. Something fun where you naturally come into close contact -- lots of chances to kino, kiss, etc.

Seems like her excitement for you fizzled out. What next? Move on to the next one. But, send this one last text to the HB9:

"Hi, not sure what happened. I hope I didn't do anything wrong! If I did I'd like fix it. :) I'm good at fixing things. But I won't pester you. If you change your mind or want to hang out just let me know. I would love to see you again. But if not .... well that's just fine too. Take care."

TRUST ME. It works 60% of the time to at least get her responding again. I'd only send it after 5 to 7 days of no communication. If she does reply, setup another date. If she doesn't reply, you've already moved on!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 5:32 pm 
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If you text her from now until Friday, she'll flake you and I'm 80% sure of this because it has happened to me several times where I got to the point to solve this. In my opinion, she's already invited on Friday, try to look your best on that day and see if she shows up. If she's interested, she'll definitely show up. That's like an indirect invitation.

If not, hook up with other girls at the party and text her with "when are you free?" question. This opens up the opportunity to meet up with her because she can't say "not today" or "no I'm busy that day". She'll set a date and you escalate from there with no texts in between except before you meet her.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 3:42 am 
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Quote:
If you text her from now until Friday, she'll flake you and I'm 80% sure of this because it has happened to me several times where I got to the point to solve this. In my opinion, she's already invited on Friday, try to look your best on that day and see if she shows up. If she's interested, she'll definitely show up. That's like an indirect invitation.

If not, hook up with other girls at the party and text her with "when are you free?" question. This opens up the opportunity to meet up with her because she can't say "not today" or "no I'm busy that day". She'll set a date and you escalate from there with no texts in between except before you meet her.
this exact same shit happened to me with my last girl . ive learnt something.

you have projected too much interest by the looks.

1st date and no kiss? this is a lesson i've learnt the hard way. a kiss on the 1st date is dating 101. if you didnt, she will thin you're a beta ass pussy. that date could have also ended in an F close. depending on how you played it.

id stop thinking about her and game others. she's got your text. if she wanted to text you she would have.

the blunt truth.

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