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I am talking to this chick. HB9.
good so far
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I've known her for about 2 years.
not so good
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met again the other night in a bar and talked
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We started dancing and got pretty close. No K-close.
so the impression you have set up with this girl is best friends forever?
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hers then. She replies with:
H: "Well, where I live it'll take you ages to get here." (true)
M: "true. as it's easier for you to come into town I'll meet you at the main station", H: "no. i'm too lazy"
After a n hour she is like:
H: "hey, my SPAM and I going to town now."
I didn't reply and 5 hours later she says
H: "Btw had a blast last night. Catch you later I'm going to the gym"
M: "Considering the night started as casual the end was pretty fun. We should repeat that, Hulk"
H: "Haha, yeah"
Today I gave it another try. (Saw it on one's post):
M: "I need you on a mission:
H: "What's up?"
M: "Instead of going jogging out there I thought I might go bouldering indoors. You would be a good partner"
H: "Hm, don't know. I'm more of a runner. It's in my nature. Us redheads always had to be quick runners as they wanted to burn us back then"
H: "What is it?"
M: "SPAM and Robin also knew how to shoot AND fight"
M: "It's climbing indoors"
H: "Hey, I'm so clumsy and you think I can move from stone to stone?! That's ridiculous"
M: "Some people must be forced to their luck. Meet you at 12 tomorrow at the main station"
H: "I think you have to climb that mountain yourself"
H: "Besides I don't like climbing"
"
"
M: "Well, if you decide to be a bore..."
H: "Im not! I'm just the opposite"
"Squats and lunges are fun too"
"Or running until exhaustion"
She is fucking with me, isn't she!!
Is it all lost? I know I have much to learn. hope you can give me some advice on this one.
most of your assumptions are based on conjecture, you are chosing to frame this as a negative thing when she just seems laid back, you are needy to see her, while she is indifferent to seeing you, it puts her in a power position because you care more
you could always try dis-qualifying her excuses, to qualify her on a proper time and give her some time to sort out when she can do it, so instead of crying yourself to sleep about how you fucked up and she hates you, just because she said no to rock climbing on the same day (and she stated she doesn't like rock climbing)
how do you dis-qualify this issues?, figure out the logistics to give a proper invite that is a win/win for the two of you, instead of a win for you, and a loss for her, where is the value in that for her?
-ask her when she is free
-find out what she likes doing that you also enjoy, and meet to do that activity on a mutual grounds
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I'm amazed how you break it down and it makes me smile a bit how she twists me around her little finger (if that's how you say it).
Can you give me an exmple of how you would have lead and control her and the conversation?
Thanks for your answers already
you don't control her, you control yourself and be less needy, shift your focus off ''getting her'' and on to ''seeing what she is like'' and doing what you get enjoyment out of, instead of what you hope, she gets enjoyment out of, pay attention to her, and if you want to be more then friends, then don't act like ''just a friend''
CHAT