Hey everyone,
I wanted to ask for your advice concerning this one girl I know. I met her last year and we have been getting along quite well. The problem came when I found a job in another city (300 km away), which fucked up my plans concerning her. I didn’t make any move in the end as I was not interested in a long-distance relationship. We still meet occasionally (like every 3 months) and I wouldn’t mind getting a bit more intimate with her, since both of us are single. The thing is that I have probably fallen in the friend-zone after all that time.
She keeps telling me about how she is desperate to get a boyfriend; she fantasizes how the French must be great lovers (she lives in Paris, btw), etc. Now, all these are indicators that I have fallen into the FZ. However, the thing is that everytime we meet, she keeps touching me… A LOT: my arms, my shoulders, etc. She even kept once her hand on my arm non-stop for 5 mins while calling her parents. What does this fucking mean? Is that an IOI? This chick is quite immature and I have noticed that she has trouble sorting out her feelings (she sometimes still hopes to get back with her ex-bf 3 years after splitting up). She either feels something for me or she just finds “comfort” in my friendship.
For example, the last time we met, she had her arm on my back while we were walking, so I tried to put my arm on her shoulder as an experiment. She immediately withdrew her own arm just after 10 or so seconds. Now, that would be clear that she is not interested, but then she grabbed my arm and kept pressing her own against me. Ok, there were some weird guys in the street at that time, but still… WTF? I didn’t really expect something to happen between us, but it would be a shame to let this opportunity go if she’s really interested.
Now, she is coming to my place next month to visit the city where I live, and I guess that I should make a move, but I might as well freak her out. Please note that I am not looking to start a LTR with her. If nothing happens, I will simply move on. However, if I have an opportunity, I will be kicking myself if I miss it.

Could you please give me any advice on this? Any help will be greatly appreciated!
Thanks, bros!

You are scared of rejection. Don't over-analyse body language, it can be a red herring. Don't just hold her or you will seem needy. Just touch her regularly while you're talking and hold eye contact while you touch and look into her eyes while she is talking. If she stares into your eyes, don't look away before she does. Start looking at her mouth while she is talking and watch to see if she looks back at your mouth. As soon as she starts looking at your mouth, slowly lean in to kiss her.

Good luck.

Thanks for the reply! You are right, I am overanalysing this. The thing is that I don't want to freak her out and ruin our friendship (and we have a lot of common friends, so I might ruin my reputation as well).

One question: If she asks me why I am staring at her lips, should I tell her that I find her lips pretty/sexy or should I just lean and kiss her (on her lips or neck?)? I am really bad at reading IOIs to say the truth and I am afraid to mess up the timing...

Alternatively, I could neg her jokingly everytime she touches me and tell her "Do you want me so badly?"... no?

If you believe you will freak her out, you WILL freak her out. If you're worried about it, she will sense you are nervous and you will 100% get rejected. If you are afraid, she will get freaked out. But if you're confident and you look her right in the eyes when you speak and she knows you mean it, she might actually get turned on and roll with it. If she likes you, you are wasting precious time not making a move on her. Every time you see her and you fail to make a move on her, her interest in you is decreasing steadily. Arrange to see her, but don't keep too much platonic contact with her before you meet. If you use email, SMS or facebook to keep in touch with her, stop contacting her so much (especially if it is always you contacting her first).

This will give her a new sense of mystery and will show that you've changed, you're not the agreeable Mr. Nice Guy she always knew. When she arrives, set a different mood straight away, touch her a lot, take the lead, have a more seductive look in your eyes, DRESS WELL (wear sexy clothes), don't joke with her too much (especially if you tend to do this a lot to break awkward silences) unless you are making sexual innuendos / double entendres, sit very close to her and NEVER avoid eye contact. You need to learn to feel comfortable in awkward situations. Awkward silences are GOOD if you know how to use them because they create tension, which can increase the sexual tension if you are confident enough to pull it off. Right now, I feel that you're not confident enough, so do some confidence-building exercises first, like saying "hi" to every stranger you walk past in the street or by giving women compliments during the day.

If she asks you why you are looking at her mouth, then either just say something like "because I know you want to kiss me" or just slowly move in for the kiss. If she says she's not sure then just say "let's see and we'll soon find out" then move in for the kiss. If she flat-out refuses but still stays sitting close to you, then keep building rapport and joke a bit more so that she feels more comfortable, then continue looking into her eyes and at her mouth. The more you show you are comfortable doing this, the more she will feel your confidence and get caught up in the moment. If she avoids your kiss when you move in, then kiss her on the neck or the cheek instead. Then repeat the same cycle again of looking into her eyes and at her mouth. Always assume a girl likes you, unless she explicitly says "Let's just be Friends" or actually says "No". The key here is NEVER to say sorry during the whole process. Why should you apologise for finding her attractive? Even if she rejects you, do NOT apologise. EVER. Weak people apologise for flirting and weakness in unattractive.

Be honest to yourself, do you really give a shit about your friendship? Or do you just use friendship as an excuse to hang out with her because she is beautiful? Put it this way, if she had the exact same personality, but she was fat and ugly, would you still want to hang out with her? The answer is no, so you need to make it clear to her that you're not interested in friendship. If that means walking away, then you need to walk away.

You got yourself into this situation yourself by not being honest and direct with her from the start. The very first time you meet a woman you like, you should begin flirting with her immediately so she knows your intentions. It sets the tone for your relationship with her and she will immediately know that you want her sexually, not just as a friend. Women are insecure, so because you've never really said that you want her physically, she is not sure if you want her or not. Women never make the first move, they drop IOIs to indicate that they want YOU to make the first move. If you never have the balls to make that move, it's a huge turn-off and she will lose interest.

Never ask a woman if you can kiss her, because that indicates that you perceive her feelings are more important than yours (DLV). Your feelings and desires should always be more important than hers.

Stop analysing it so much and date other girls before she arrives to improve your confidence.

Thanks for the insight Hunter_Foxe! You hit the nail on the head! Very useful information!

The bad news is that she will not be staying at my place
She's visiting the city in the first place because some ex-colleague invited her and he has offered her to stay at his house...
Well, at least, I won't have to accompany her on her sightseeing tour, lol

Anyway, I gave some more thought about this, and I have the suspicion that she's playing with me. Everytime I go back to Paris, I warn her well in advance so that we may arrange something for the night. She then claims that she doesn't have time for me and that she has made some other arrangements (and simply offers to see me like between 7 and 9, if she does at all). I have always assumed that I am not on her priority list, so I didn't bother calling her most of the times I went there.

Yet, her way of touching me implies something different, thus my confusion. Serves me right for being stupid. Won't bother anymore with her... Not even sure how much I was interested in her in the first place... She's average to be frank. The only thing I found positive was that there was some good connection between us in the beginning. Then the distance came in and I didn't really feel like it was worth the trouble flirting with her anymore. No big loss on my side anyway.