Hey so I am currently studying abroad and have been here for almost three months. I met another girl from my country (U.S.), named Kayla. We hit it off the first few days and hung out, but nothing ended up happening. I think it is because when we were together, I started flirting with other girls in front of her to make her jealous. But I don't think that worked out very well. Eventually, our relationship (me and kayla) became very hot and cold. During the week, we would flirt but on the weekend, we would barely speak. We would see each other in clubs but never really talked. Actually I had chances to talk to her when we were out, but I didn't know what to say to her because I would just think too much. I can flirt with her when we're sober but not when we're out. I don't know why but I just freeze; I don't know what to say to her. Nevertheless, I am good friends with all of her friends and in good standing with them.

I have never had a girlfriends before and am still a virgin at 21. Thus, whenever I am talking to a cute girl, I get into this phase in which I think about every little encounter we have, just because I have a crush on her. I don't think I would do that if I had more experience.

My lack of experience with women is not really congruent to the way that I act. I look and act "normal." People that know me would be surprised if I told them I was a virgin or never had a girlfriend. I am able to communicate well with everyone I'm around and have many guy friends as well as friends who are girls.

Back to the story, because I think about every little encounter and whatnot, I thought it was interfering with my overall state of mind. I am only studying abroad for a semester and my main goal for the time being was to go out, get out of my comfort zone and have fun. And get better with women. Because I thought too much about her, I was straying away from my main goal. And that was not worth it. So then I completely stopped speaking to her for a few weeks, which was difficult because she lives in my building. It didn't seem like I was avoiding her, but rather we just never crossed paths.

But as of late, we started talking and flirting again. Last night, we ended up watching a movie. During the movie, an Australian girl took her top off. She then asked me if those were the first Australian boobs I had seen. I said no. (which is true because I saw a pair at a wet t shirt contest a few weeks back, but I didn't tell her that). I asked her if she had hooked up with any guys. She said yes, that she had just made out with one Australian guy. Right after the movie, she left and that was that.

I feel dissapointed that we have not hooked up yet or even made out. I feel like I should have enough skill to do that. We only have six to eight weeks left before we have to go back. Do you guys think I should still pursue this girl. Unfortunately, I have started thinking about her all the time again. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation??

Please let me know. I appreciate it. Also general feedback on myself would be good.

Thanks!!! Let me know!!!!!

Well from what I read in your post, don't take it offensively, but it doesn't seem like you have a grasp on any pickup knowledge: routines, gambits, IOIs, etc. Also you're very inexperienced, so don't kill yourself trying to be something that you're not. Be your self and I mean your BEST SELF, not what you think you should act like. Dress well, hold strong eye contact with her, build rapport, KINO escalate (this one is extremely important), and when you receive enough IOIs--indicators of interest, kiss-close her.

In the mean time, don't stress about this one girl, it's not worth it. Good luck! I recommend reading a few pickup books. There are many, just browse the forums.

That makes sense. I have read The Mystery Method, Double Your Dating, and The Game over a year ago and attempted that during college. But i found it to be ineffective in the college world, as the books above are primarily focused on night club game, not day game or college game. So for the past six months or so, i've stayed away from anything related to pua and i have tried natural game. I've been thinking about pua lately and thought I would give it another shot. One thing that happens while I study pua is that I start to think way too much about what I am doing and it distracts me from acting natural around girls. I do understand the terminology and whatnot, but I have probably forgotten a lot of routines. I'll look into those again. Hopefully they'll work better this time.

Thank you for your response. If anyone has any additional feedback, that would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Well You and i cover common grounds here. But i find the game to be rather helpful during a day game. Wouldn't say im a Pua yet (rather a rafc), but i have picked up a number of women in uni, and at cafe's you just have to come up with a good routine. and think of the night game as a training ground for you to rid them afc traits.

At the moment i say if you've failed to escalate, drop it. Or at this point it may be damaged, but build the comfort level back up, and pull the cat string theory. Coz she's leading you on.

This is the update on our situation.

Last friday, I went out with her and her friends. Everything was going well, i was escalating and flirting with her (kayla). The last place we went to, however, 3 or 4 guys came up to her and started hitting on her - she knew them because they play frisbee together. I grabbed one of her friends (Carol) and we walked around the venue and played pool. I just hung out with her cause i didn't want to compete with the other guys - i didn't want to chase her because i felt like i didn't have enough experience in those type of situations to actually come out on top.

Nevertheless, she came to us (me and carol) later and asked where we went. She stayed for like a minute and left. When we all left, those boys who hit on her kept walking with Kayla and our group. I then went to bed once i got back to my room because i was pissed off (because at the time, it looked like she went off to one of those guys rooms). I found out the next day that the group stayed up all hanging out and that's all i know. She could have definitely hooked up with one of those guys. Also, on Saturday and Sunday, she hung out with the frisbee boys. It is Monday night now and we haven't spoke much since Friday night. I went to go watch a movie with the group of 6 girls (including Carol and Kayla) who i went out with Friday night, yesterday. But I didn't say anything, and didn't give Kayla any attention at all. I'm not sure if that's the right move I should have made, but that's what I ended up doing. I was still talking to other girls and laughing at the movie and whatnot, but i just didn't speak to Kayla (or look at her for that matter).

Anyways, tomorrow is Kayla's birthday and Carol asked me if I was going out with them to celebrate her birthday. I said, i'll have to check my work load (school) and perhaps I might join. I don't know if I should or not. Again, I haven't talked to Kayla since Friday night. I've been giving her the cold shoulder. I've done that because I had come to the conclusion that she isn't interested in me because she would have hung out with me Friday night or any other time in the weekend. But she didn't. And because she didn't, I decided that I was done pursuing her. Instead, I was going to pursue the other aspects of my life.

I still want to hear your guys' opinions on what I did right, what I did wrong, if I should go out tomorrow (which I free and able to do, kinda want to as well), how I should act around Kayla. Because I really don't know how I should act around Kayla. I just hate the thought of me being stuck in the friend zone, which I didn't think i was in because we flirted a lot and hung out a lot last week. I guess it is very possible that she was leading me on, and having fun while she was out with other guys.

Let me know what you guys think. Thanks!!!!!!!!!

i would like to know as well