Warning this is pretty long.


I just moved to a new town, got a new job at a call center. The girl who trained our small induction group for a week (she's 20) and all we did for a week was sit for 8 hours and talk for the whole week. I'm 21 btw. So as we talked for 8 hours a day we basicly talked about everything from our relationships to sex (which she revealed some pretty crazy shit with her and her husband). She was married then and I was in a 4 year relationship.

1 week into it and I broke up with my girlfriend, as of 3 days ago she is getting a divorce.

Since I started, maybe 3 weeks ago there's been rumours and hi-5's from all the dudes around the office as everyone see's how we're always talking and spending lunch breaks together. Not sure if this is helping and I haven't brought it up with her yet, should I?

It's hard to build sexual tension when we're in the same office for 8 hours a day and continually talking (and texting/facebook) when I get home. She's a HB 8.5, very high maintenence who depends on being wined and dined but at the same time she's very very promiscuous and a generally warm person.

She broke up with her husband on friday and ended up sleeping with two of her good guy friends, one on saturday and one on sunday. At work today she then proceeded to explain how they both thrashed her so bad she could hardly walk. After hearing that I made a couple of jokes about it but then told her I didn't want to hear that shit, my motivation for that is to try to not get caught too deep in the friend zone although i'm probably already stuck there.

This is a girl I want to sleep with once merely because I find this time talking has been a waste unless I sleep with her. She's now booking up with dates and i'm trying to subtley get something happening with her without risking an uncomfortable work enviroment if she doesn't respond well. I want to make it all happen in the one day as it's getting to me the longer I take to sleep with her and I don't want to waste several dates just to sleep with a girl I don't care about.

Her personality:

Money orientated when it comes to relationships
Not phased much by relationships
Very material
Loves a night out and getting smashed
Has a very club-slut mentality
Very open about her entire life, am I stuck in the friend zone or is it just because we have 8 hours a day stuck with nothing to say?

I'm not her type as she's into surfy guys, I'm a person who is very clean, stylish guy that dressed to work like i'm going out on the town.

Now to the part where I need help:

How can I turn this relationship into a sexual one, delicately without jepordising my working relationship? We spend alot of time at work together and I don't want anything more but a one night stand from her. She's the type of girl that would, but making the initial invitation to make it happen is delicate.

I had something planned tonight to have drinks with her and another colleague at their flat, but she cancelled for another date. How should I react to this? Should I punish her for cancelling it or what?

Very weird situation. With this oppurtunity I need to make all the right moves and fast.

I would like to first state that I can most certainly relate to this situation and I feel it is my obligation to offer any assistance as I made all the wrong choices and ended up eternally damned to the friend zone. First off, you definetely need to give her a bit of space especially at work, if possible begin socializing a bit more flirtaciously with the other female co-workers in your office. You need to at least break the stigma that your the go to comfort guy and do this by giving her less and less of your time and making her work for the time she will get. Using other female co-workers shows you have an allure and other women enjoy your company which will definetely put you in her mind. It does come with some slight risk as this "push pull" technique is delicate and can misfire, but because your virtually locked in this office for 8 hours a day the odds are very much so in your favor. Now on to what she looks for in guys, she just ended a marriage, its doubtful she is looking to dive into something serious right away. You just want the in and out anyways which is perfect for this scenario. You should work the above discussed situations during the the majority of the week, come friday you should inquire what she is up to for the coming weekend, of course with an indifferent mannor, and see what her schedule is like. Then, avoiding the uncomfortable date situation, tell her your going out with some mutual friends, again your co-workers are always great, perhaps even some of the women you talked to during this planning week, for a night of adventure. Suggest somewhere out of the ordinary, as in NOT the local bar or club but maybe something a bit more out of the way or expensive but most importantly a different experience. See if she bites on the bait then grind out details like were meeting at my place to split cab fare, something like that so shes basically forced to come back home with you after this presumingly awesome night. Be forewarned, the game you play during the night out is also very important but will be the matter of another comunique if needed. Hope this helps and best of luck from a man who made all the wrong choices so you don't have to.

Thanks for the reply mate.

Well I spent most of the day ignoring her to see what reaction I would get and have been negging her about her dating/dates but playfully.

It seems with this SPAM she is less responsive and seems to lose interest in the relationship we have when I do this, so not sure where to go from here.

I hate to say it but you may be further into the friend zone than I was hoping. This may make things a bit tougher but not impossible. Alright, so you pushed and drifted, I would definetely give it one more day. However, it is imperative you concentrate your efforts on flirting with other female co-workers. Even if they aren't the pick of the litter. It is vital she see your attention has shifted to other women to juxtapose you as a friend to you as a sexual being. It may be tough but its important you stick to your guns on it and really sell your performance. At the same time try to be the center of attention at work with not just the female employees, but the males as well. This shows you have a dominant role and people generally like to be around you, from what you said she seems like the attention needing social type so it will be instinctual for her to gravitate towards the group, which should be lead by you. This time don't even bother negging her, generally ignore her for the most part, and observe her reaction but be very inauspicious, dont let her catch you watching her. Ignore your typical routines with her and stick to just the pleasantries. You may lose a battle or two, but I will be damned if you can't win this war. Best of luck buddy.

I'm starting to doubt she's even worth this time spent but the challenge is just too mouth watering. I'm thinking I should just sit back a bit and wait a couple of weeks until she gets over her marriage/new found dates before I make a real move. Plus she's got a date every night for god knows how long so I don't want to be in the middle of that.

What do you guys think?

I have made a decision to not pursue this.

Working with her all the time and actually showing her that I won't be her lapdog has shown me what kind of personality she really has underneath all the sluttyness and it's extremely generic.