i recently "ended" a longterm relationship with the mother of my child, so there is no chance of a clean break. i moved half the country to be with her and now we're apart i'm on my own because my friends where hers first and so on. the thing is we get on better now than we ever did, we are still having regular sex (which for some reason is better too) but she still tells me we are separated and see's no real future in our relationship but wont let me go because i'm her "best friend". i feel used because i want something she doesnt but still get what i physically need from her, i feel like she wont let me move on what can i do?

hmm, its a though call dude, and you're the only one who can make it, I would say if the prospect of her sleeping around or getting a new partner hurts you, then cut contact now, eventually she will move on and get a new partner, and when that happens there wont be anymore physical satisfaction for you.

tell me has she ever said or done one of the following:

1: i love you but im just not in love with you
2: complained about you hitting it on with a female friend or going on a date
3: is she still telling you she loves you?
4: not contacted you in a week, and then suddenly she wants you over? (desperately/needy)
5: said anything to imply that just maybe you could get back together?

These are some of the things my ex girlfriend did to me, and they worked like a wonder, she played me for 2 years, until i finally got a hold of myself and manned up (we're are now F-buddies and can talk about sleeping with other people and dates we went on and so forth)

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"seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already".
-Waiter Rant

pretty much hit the nail on the head with alot of things, i mean yeahit's gonna suck when she meets someone else but i told her if she does i don't wanna kno, the jist is she still wants the physical side of things with me, she still tells me she loves me and i'm her bestest friend and always wants me in her life but doesnt want a relationship, sayin flat out that there's no future that relationships in general arent for her, she doesn like tha lable and says she cant enjoy herself when she goes out because she feels guilty for flirting. in other words she wants to be free to have a fling if it comes up.
she even said she wants me to move on (not too quick) and meet someone else and if its not serious then she wants us to carry on having sex
what i get from this is she wants me as a fuck buddy (the sex is the best we've ever had) which is fine but the emotion shit she brings everyother day is fuckin up my head . lately it's like we are back together better than ever and keep fallin back into old ways because it's so easy.
the hardest part i cant cut her off, not because i dont want to but because my kid is involved and she's always gonna be a huge part of my life.
i'm seriously considering being a complete prick and doin what she says she wants me to do just to show how messed up this shit is

okay mate, I can with 100 % certainty say, she is lying to you, she might not know it herself, she might not even know she's stringing you along, but i promise you that line, the "i want you to move on" line, it's not true, I've gotten this many times, especially from the earlier mentioned ex.

It's like jada jada jada, i love you jada jada jada i want you to move on so: we can be friends/You wont get hurt/you can find the one, i mean seriously half the time a girl uses this line it ends with "but not too fast" or "It's okay you have a fling, but ill feel kinda bad if you fall in love" the other half of the time its something for for your own good.
i mean, you've got the line:
I want you to move on and then you got this immediately after [insert something that either telegraph's her interest in you, or her wanting the best thing for you]

I've had this done to me several times, and i know dude, i know it sounds harsh, but what is really happening is that she needs your validation, she is shit scared of letting go, and therefore she strings you along, most of the girls that do this actually don't even realize it.
to simplify think of it as reverse game, guys lie all the time to girls to get laid, and im not talking about some dude bragging about the new car he never actually bought, but about the little white lies, people exaggerate all the time
and yeah I do realize a lot of guy's who have read the game are going: "its not lying dude, its flirting" right now
Fair, im not knocking, my point is merely we do this all the time, even without knowing it, and in the same way girls use white lies, to get love and validation instead of sex.
same method -> different goals

the next lie i want to point out to you, is so easy for me to see, but you wont see, i know i didn't in your position, her saying: "I don't want a relationship " this is not, has never, will not ever be true, with credit to the movie hitch, "there is not a single girl in the world, who gets out of bed in the morning and thinks: gee i really hope i don't meet prince charming today" and again she doesn't know she is lying because at this point in her life she doesn't really want a boyfriend, the problem with that is though, that you cant really plan when you fall in love, it might not happen for a while and it might happen tomorrow.

so mate, with this established, we know she is stringing you along and that she is lying, as you say yourself: "lately it's like we are back together better than ever and keep fallin back into old ways because it's so easy." so you're getting emotionally invested and "i mean yeahit's gonna suck when she meets someone else but i told her if she does i don't wanna kno" you'll get jealous

so based on this, my advise to you is do one of the following:
1: cut all indirect contact with her basically you don't want to hear anything that happens in her life, use the phone to set up when you are spending time with your kid and when your spending time together with your kid, explain to her calmly why you're doing this, i am not gonna lie this is gonna be hard and you're gonna like the other thing i'm proposing a lot better so:

2: stay together as Fuck buddies, have fun, if you see each other regularly, the emotional roller-coaster she has you riding will decrease as she is getting the validation she needs, the problem with this is, when you keep giving her this validation, the chance of her going out and hooking up gets greater, and you get more emotionally attached, thus making it so much harder when she finally does find another, when this happens you will be doing the first step, and it will hurt more.

I hope it helps dude, because i'm intimately familiar with the situation you're in and it's frustration as hell and can hurt like bitch! Good luck mate

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"seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already".
-Waiter Rant

People post here on the relationship topic with one question usually : can it work ?
But while they ask that,the fact is-the relationship does not work,and there is no short fix.You're not gonna make it work.You can give yourself the answer to that,it's simply through watching the behavior of both of you and it's pretty clear whether one is focused on the other partner or on himself.
The only way you're gonna change something is through pua attitude and games,and you relationship will become a game if you do.
The question you guys should be asking is how i did wrong,what behavior lead to this,maybe it was her mistake in the 1st place and so on...
Now I believe you should move on,in the best case this person is very confused and not decided-and never will be.In the worst,she wants you around till she finds another.

thanks for the advice man, it's always good to get someone elses oppion on things. it helps put things in perspective
i think i'm gonna actually make the conscious decision to actively start looking for someone else and carry on being fuck buddies, even though its completely out of character and as stupid as it sounds i think it would probably help if i beat her to punch.
for the moment i'm still have the same feelings i've always had for my ex so gaming other girls wont be as hard as if i was single, purely because i wont care about the outcome and will probably help my game rather than investing all my effort and getting rejected. i know this sounds really bad but as she continues to say we separated we arnt getting back together so i might as start acting like a free agent as callas as it sounds

She is stringing you along till she finds better...you should stop as soon as you possibly can because it will only hurt you more in the long run...breaking it off now will show her you are stronger, if it is meant to work, it will, other wise you will be better off without her.

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.

Yeah man I did the same thing, my best advice on this is again, try not to get more emotionally invested than you already are, thats were you're going to get really hurt,
good luck

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"seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already".
-Waiter Rant

Man. I feel your pain. I know why you want to do the fuck buddy thing: it is because you're still emotionally invested in the relationship. This is normal.

The crucial factor is that you are more invested than she is.

Breaking up is hard to do when you don't want it, but at some point you have to take steps for your own benefit. Let me tell you, fuck buddies only works when you're not emotionally invested like that.

Consider this: what if she followed through on her words and came around today telling you, "I have been sleeping with this other man, and I am leaving you for him"? If that doesn't hurt you at all, go ahead and be fuck buddies with her. If it does hurt, as I suspect, you are in for a world of pain if you try to be fuck buddies. You will not stop looking for ways to improve the situation and "get her back," and therefore the relationship will never be over for you until she does this.

She may or may not be bluffing. Who knows? You better call her bluff, though, and do the right thing for yourself. You have to get what you want, and since she is not going to give that to you (a relationship), you have to take control of your own response.

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- Lux et Veritas -