Long distance ... for real?



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 5:03 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:52 pm
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Hey Guys,

Need to vent to you guys about a my girl moving across the country to go to cosmetology school. She left yesterday morning on a 2000 mile road trip across the country after telling me 2 weeks ahead of time that she was moving. We spent a lot of our free time together and now that she's gone and I just feel kinda lost.

We just celebrated our 1 year dating anniversary last weekend. She has asked me several times when I am going to marry her. After dating for a year, I don't think I am ready to marry her. She means a lot to me and treats me well but I fee like I am too hard on her sometimes, like I want her to be somebody she's not or I hold her to perfectionist expectations. And would you believe this causes arguments? Other times I just feel like she is being too bitchy towards me and don't know how to counteract it. My thought is I don't want to put up with this crap and I get bitter real fast. Sometimes I feel like I love her but don't like her in that moment.

Anyway, I'm just not sure what to do. Part of me wants to move out there with her, hoping we make things better in our relationship by doing some work to improve it The other part of me says it could be really troubled waters if I make that move.

What do you guys think?


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:48 pm 
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I feel your pain Bdub 'cause Im actually going through similar except for the relocating part.

Im personally not into long- distance LTR.

I expect basics from my MILF gf but most times it seems like she cannot give the basics,which would spark major arguments.

So what you gonna do about her relocating?

Are you gonna try maintain the LTR or break up?

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:15 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:52 pm
Posts: 171
Quote:
Hey Guys,

What do you guys think?
Hi bdud, i have a lot of experience with this, and i actually felt like making a thread about my thoughts on relationships and especially LDLTR.. but let me try to help you.
Now what i am going to say, many perhaps dont agree, and for many it might be new stuff.. Since things tend to be different with LDLTR compared to LTR..

Okay, so i am 20 years old, my GF is 19 years old.. Im italian but live in denmark, she is italian and lives in italy. Its about 2000 km away, takes me 4-5 hours of travel time to reach her.

Now you know a little about our relationship, now lets talk about more general advice i want to give you:

You have been together for 1 year now, how do you feel about her? This is the most important question but also the hardest to answer... You might not be able to answer it now, but your time apart will help you answer it..
An italian saying: The distance makes you remember who you love. You will deffently start seeing some answer and so will she with this time apart.. I think you should do as i did, just jump right into it.. Take the chance..

What you say worries me though, but that might be because you start taking thing for granted when it gets too easy in a relationship.. So she wants to get married? This is perfectly normal and something you should truely appriciate. Me and my GF are not officially engaged, yet we want to get married as soon as i get my degree.

Some things yet applies to LDR that might be against the "PUA teaching" in a normal relationship...
- You gotta be very open to her about feelings, even bad ones
- You must talk together atleast once a day on phone / SPAM (reccomend SPAM).
- You might start to getting into fights more often, but that is totally normal.. This is a part of LDR.. You might fight over stuff that you wouldnt fight over if you were together. Things gets misunderstood because of lack of bodylanguage ect when not talking over SPAM or being phsycially together..
- So you need to fight these problems, you BOTH need to have alot of patience and humility.. and be strong. (talk to her about this, how things will change..)
- I strongly believe that you cant continue being a jerk to her..
- you both gotta be faithful (this might be the hard part)

Sorry if im rambling.. But in conclusion:

There is a lot of sacrifice, yet a lot of gifts..

1) You will miss her like crazy, and you miss phsyical attachment..
2) as soon as you go visit her, you will have the best time of your life with her
3) You will soon find out if the girl is a keeper or not.. (i found this out when she made me the surprise in september)..
4) its nice sometimes to actually having a lot of time to yourself. You can work on your school, on your projects, like gym / friends, inner game.. And when you are with her you are with her for some weeks and its just great and you will have a great time

Anyway, im sorry if cant help alot, but tell me some question and i will try to answer.

But seriously, it have its ups and downs, but for me it has only been the greatest decision of my life.. And i will say this, even if some day we wont be together anymore, because nothing is really 100% sure in life.. so.. think about it!


Last edited by Bimm3r on Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:42 pm 
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@Bimm3r-I dont see anything so disagreeable about your post.

But I really dont know why you'd enter a LDLTR knowingly that the girl is out of reach.

BDub's situation I can understand 'cause he lived in the same town with his gf but she relocated.

But in your case Bimm3r,you knew the girl want from your town.

I would not have entered that relationship Bimm3r but you're strong I guess.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:49 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:52 pm
Posts: 171
Quote:
@Bimm3r-I dont see anything so disagreeable about your post.

But I really dont know why you'd enter a LDLTR knowingly that the girl is out of reach.

BDub's situation I can understand 'cause he lived in the same town with his gf but she relocated.

But in your case Bimm3r,you knew the girl want from your town.

I would not have entered that relationship Bimm3r but you're strong I guess.
Hey, yes my situation is different. And so, he will know alot better what to do or not.. I think he can make the decision by himself, as he already know the girl i suppose, after a year.. And he should know if to continue or not.. :D..


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:25 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:52 pm
Posts: 42
Quote:
Quote:
Hey Guys,

What do you guys think?
Hi bdud, i have a lot of experience with this, and i actually felt like making a thread about my thoughts on relationships and especially LDLTR.. but let me try to help you.
Now what i am going to say, many perhaps dont agree, and for many it might be new stuff.. Since things tend to be different with LDLTR compared to LTR..

Okay, so i am 20 years old, my GF is 19 years old.. Im italian but live in denmark, she is italian and lives in italy. Its about 2000 km away, takes me 4-5 hours of travel time to reach her.

Now you know a little about our relationship, now lets talk about more general advice i want to give you:

You have been together for 1 year now, how do you feel about her? This is the most important question but also the hardest to answer... You might not be able to answer it now, but your time apart will help you answer it..
An italian saying: The distance makes you remember who you love. You will deffently start seeing some answer and so will she with this time apart.. I think you should do as i did, just jump right into it.. Take the chance..

What you say worries me though, but that might be because you start taking thing for granted when it gets too easy in a relationship.. So she wants to get married? This is perfectly normal and something you should truely appriciate. Me and my GF are not officially engaged, yet we want to get married as soon as i get my degree.

Some things yet applies to LDR that might be against the "PUA teaching" in a normal relationship...
- You gotta be very open to her about feelings, even bad ones
- You must talk together atleast once a day on phone / SPAM (reccomend SPAM).
- You might start to getting into fights more often, but that is totally normal.. This is a part of LDR.. You might fight over stuff that you wouldnt fight over if you were together. Things gets misunderstood because of lack of bodylanguage ect when not talking over SPAM or being phsycially together..
- So you need to fight these problems, you BOTH need to have alot of patience and humility.. and be strong. (talk to her about this, how things will change..)
- I strongly believe that you cant continue being a jerk to her..
- you both gotta be faithful (this might be the hard part)

Sorry if im rambling.. But in conclusion:

There is a lot of sacrifice, yet a lot of gifts..

1) You will miss her like crazy, and you miss phsyical attachment..
2) as soon as you go visit her, you will have the best time of your life with her
3) You will soon find out if the girl is a keeper or not.. (i found this out when she made me the surprise in september)..
4) its nice sometimes to actually having a lot of time to yourself. You can work on your school, on your projects, like gym / friends, inner game.. And when you are with her you are with her for some weeks and its just great and you will have a great time

Anyway, im sorry if cant help alot, but tell me some question and i will try to answer.

But seriously, it have its ups and downs, but for me it has only been the greatest decision of my life.. And i will say this, even if some day we wont be together anymore, because nothing is really 100% sure in life.. so.. think about it!
Bimm3r,

Thank you so much for the great advice bro. Truly appreciated. I am glad to know that there are others in the community going through long distance relationships. The SPAM thing is going to be huge once she arrives and sets up her computer. I like that saying, The distance make you remember who you love.

I am going to wait until she gets settled in to see if things get better for us. Just kind of sit back and relax, focus on my life here.

Thank you all for your advice! Just what I needed.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:53 pm 
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Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:52 pm
Posts: 171
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Hey Guys,

What do you guys think?
Thank you so much for the great advice bro. Truly appreciated. I am glad to know that there are others in the community going through long distance relationships. The SPAM thing is going to be huge once she arrives and sets up her computer. I like that saying, The distance make you remember who you love.

I am going to wait until she gets settled in to see if things get better for us. Just kind of sit back and relax, focus on my life here.

Thank you all for your advice! Just what I needed.
your welcome :), i hope the best


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