Im not gonna let my gf's parents ruin our relationship



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:09 am 
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Guys,this' like pt.2 post of a rocky relationship I've been having.

My gf and I(in an LTR)have been having major relation' issues-mainly fueled by her parents.

Her parents dont like me nor want us together,despite me trying to reach out to them from the inception,i.e.be the nice guy.

She's a MILF(40 years old),Im 28. Her parents has an issue with the ages(despite my maturity).

These are her prents bs concerns:
1)Age difference
2)They claim Im verbally abusive to their daughter[we've had arguments]
3)My MILF gf has a teen daughter,so her parents feel it's inappropriate to go to my gf's place(lol)because I may try seduce my gf's teen daughter(lol).

So,those are her parents 3 main issues.

Totally undermining & fucked up!!

They dont allow her to live her fucking life.

And I believe at times,the pressure of the situation causes her to cave in and instigate fights in our LTR.

It's like a damn tug a war between her family & I.

Part of her wants to make this LTR work(we've been together for a year & half now).

But,other part gets discourged by her parents dislike & malicious thoughts of me.

Her miserable mom owns the property to where she lives(the house),so she'd banned me from going there.

My gf insists on me still coming,but the old-bitchy mother who lives in another house on same complex would throw threats whenever I'd come around.

So guys,I've said,F her parents.They have no rights trying control their 40 year old daughter's life.

So this' what I'd told her recently(as always):"Babes,lets not make ppl win here and dictate our relationship.Lets not give them the satisfaction of f'ing up our thing-which isnt perfect but..."

We've been together for a year & half and Im not about to let her miserable-ass mother ruin the shit!!

Some friends had advised me to break up,"If the parents are aginst you,the relationship has no chance of working".

Guys,we're 2 damn adults(she's 40,Im 28),we should dictate this,live on,work out differences,and not let others(her controlling-ass parents)ruin this further.

Feed back needed guys.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 5:08 pm 
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dam man. you are in a tough place.

i know for some girls, family is a really big part of their life. i mean for her, she's 40, she probably have accepted that she might be single her for the rest of her life and to leave her mother whom has been there for her for 40 years for a guy that she's been with for only 1.5 years... that's a tough choice.

from my perspective, you really have to be the bigger man and understand that. be there for her despite all this trouble. i think her mom is s-testing you and really only time and perseverance will tell whether something might happen or not. it's going to be an uphill battle and at one point, you might have to call it a day.

women are less logical and more emotional. trying to argue with her and being logical is not going to help, from what i've learned. just take the lead and the heat and push forward if she's means a lot to you. gl man.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 5:40 pm 
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I hear you Rx7fd.

A major point in the logics department you'd made.

Despite me believing how illogical women are,I'd been feeding her logical arguments.

Plus it does makes sense that she owes more to her parents who sh'ed known for 40 years.

But my main logical argument to her is,"Why ruin the relationship for your mother,to eventually have to start over again,when the same thing may reoccur?"

Her parents are probably 80 plus...life is real short being at 80.

So I'd rationalized to myself that,her parents probably has a few years left(being at such an old age),so why the hell ruin this!!!!?

Well,thats the harsh-logical point I have. Conveying that to my gf would probably seem insensitive,as if Im waiting on her parents death.

And it really comes down to a cultural thing.

I currently live in the Caribbean(raised in NYC)where ppl here really fucking value what parents think.

To go against ones' parents wishes is like a fucking crime here!!!!

For a femle here(doesnt matter age)to break it down to her mother that,"I really like this guy,it's ultimately my decision,so please keep out."

To relate that respectfully to your parents here is tantamount to fucking treason(lol)!!!

So it's a major cultural struggle where parents wishes are golden.

But I just think that mentality is unfair & selfish.

Let the MILF be her own friggin' woman.

I cant be so wrong for wanting that.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:01 pm 
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Quote:
So I'd rationalized to myself that,her parents probably has a few years left(being at such an old age),so why the hell ruin this!!!!?

Well,thats the harsh-logical point I have. Conveying that to my gf would probably seem insensitive,as if Im waiting on her parents death.
FFS, do not say this to her, this is such a dickhead thing to say plus these days people can live until they are 100.. oh btw; if they did die and you had vocalised this she may blame you...
Quote:
For a femle here(doesnt matter age)to break it down to her mother that,"I really like this guy,it's ultimately my decision,so please keep out."
Well no matter where you are some girls will and some girls wont say that to their parents. some girls family is very important others well not so, depends on their up bringing and how close they are.
Quote:
But I just think that mentality is unfair & selfish.

Let the MILF be her own friggin' woman.
You need to be extra cool with her parent, try and find common ground with them, like if they used to be keen gardeners but are stuggling these days, offer to do the garden for them... once you find common ground they will accept you and relise you are actually a decent guy (Or have sex with the mum that might work j/k)

The saying "What doesn't break us will only make us stronger.." applies here :)


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:03 pm 
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Lol,very funny Jtaz(lol)-have sex with the mom.

I love me a MILF but not that old(lol).

Finding common grounds like the gardening for the mom and a little help,etc.

Good idea.

Most I'd done though was to reach out verbally and have a little chit-chat about world politics.

Had little success.

Im towing the line of trying not to be harsh nor say harsh things about her parents to her(my gf).

Most I'd said was,"things would never get any better until your mother leaves us"(I meant die-but I said leave instead).

Main facts:She was pretty close with her mother but ever since she'd gotten with me and the mom over heard a few arguments,they sought of been on sour terms.

Believer me,my gf really wants her independence.

Her sisters usually advise her to move away(from around their mother)or she'd forever undermine the LTR.

Her older sister did it,but she's unsure right now or hesitant,despite claiming her mom needs to but out,stay out and straighten up!!

But Im encouraged by your last comment Jtaz,about all this crap making us stronger.

It has.We've agreed on not letting ppl(mother,etc.)ruin this.

Show them that it can work.

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