| Guys, long post here, but it would mean alot to me if you read it and gave me some responses, throughout my hardship this online community has supported me. Thankyou.
AS many of you know, I had some major emotional-AFC issues at the end of my relationship with my first LTR of 1.2 years. When she left me she was a total bitch about everything and I would say she was an HB9. Things were bad for a month and during that month she lined up another guy, who I didn't know (this gets good), so that when she broke up with me she had a rebound to fill the void. They've been together since the day after we broke up. It hurt really bad to have that happen, but what I saw yesterday gave me the greatest, and worse feeling ever.
I was sitting on a bench when I saw her on campus, my jaw dropped, she must of gained 15 pounds. She is one of those girls who gains it all in her lower body and she just had huge thunder thighs, a fat (past the point of attractive fat) ass. It was 80 degrees and she was wearing a hoodie to cover up her fat, she got glasses and her new haircut made her head look awfully funny. She went from about an HB9 to an HB5. Then her new boyfriend showed up. (I was viewing this from a park bench on campus where I was enjoying the afternoon sun and catching up on some reading assignments, I knew she was aware of my presence but we never looked at eachother, she was about 25 yards away.) Then this guy with dread locks, and a fu-man chu mustache (NO JOKE) rolls up sits down next to her and gives her a kiss. I was hysterical, I couldn't stop laughing. Here this girl left me, was a total bitch, got fat and ugly, and is dating a guy that looks like a jamaican beggar.
But this also hurt, that deep stomach pain. It hurt b/c throughout the 1 year relationship I thought we were in love and had something special together, but apparently I was an AFC the entire time. (How can their be love after a single year of dating troubled by three break-ups??) Then I felt like an idiot b.c looking back this girl was totally crazy and unstable, I was AFC and ignored several red-flags throughout the relationship. Then I felt like a punk b/c I got dumped for a total loser. And that's when I realized that while she was already in a re-bound relationship to ignore her emotions, not evolve from our relationship and learn and improve, and getting fat and unattractive; I was focused on bettering myself physically, mentally, socially. I was learning to handle the deep pain she inflicted on me, rediscovering my identity an INSTEAD of finding instant gratification for my happiness in sexual approval (by lowering my standards and values to date a bum like she did) I focused on find happiness within myself.
So when she gets dumped (which I know will happen by his body language to her, he seem a bit repulsed by her growing waist) she will be back at stage 1 and I'll be on with my life.
Though it still hurts to get dumped for this punk, I hope he is enjoying my sloppy seconds on a girl already past her prime, I may not be having much success with girls right now, but I haven't lowered my self-worth or social status. DId I mention I am in the best physical shape of my life? Muahaha
The fact that those two immediately started dating is characteristic of a re-bound relationship right?
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