This is my first post here, so I apologize for it being a novel. I've always been a lurker of these forums; I used to daygame a lot before I figured out online game was much better suited to my skills. At one point, I had a very popular bdsm blog where I met with women on the regular. It's gone now; I deleted it to avoid temptation with my current girlfriend (although I met her on the blog actually, and it wouldve been deleted by admin eventually anyways).
I've been dating her for almost three years now. We are both around 24. When we met, she was a perfect 10. She has changed a bit, but still gets all the looks at the bar/club. Guys often approach us and I like to see her reject them.
When we met, she was into ddlg, calling me daddy and expecting me to enforce rules and punishments. It was amazing at first, having that much willing control over a beautiful woman. I soon asked her to move in, because we lived so far away and frankly I realized early on I wanted her to be the one. I was a FT student with no job, so all the time in the world to focus on her and the dominance she demanded.
When the honeymoon phase wore off, I began to see her flaws. Life got hard, I had sick family and a FT job on top of grad school apps to deal with. I stopped being so consistent with rules as I was often burnt out on a daily basis. The house began to get gradually messier. She worked less and less at her PT job, calling out often. I admit I let it happen sometimes but other times money issues led to huge fights. I wanted her to clean consistently if she wasnt working (without me having to order it each day), but this was always meet with disdain. Suddenly it was my job to rid the home of pests on top of it all.
Fast forward to today, I can't get her to do anything without bitterness and talking back. She won't even fill out a health insurance form without constant nagging. She won't research careers even though I have the means to pay for her school. She developed a drinking and cannabis problem (it was at first casual) and the house is full of trash and bugs. My ability to take control over the situation has diminished completely. She makes rude comments about me in front of her friends and is unwilling to experiment in bed. We used to do starfish and so much more but then it became routine, boring sex only, despite my complaints. She never uses sex as a weapon, but I can't remember that last time we even passionately kissed (she doesn't kiss me back?). She doesn't call me daddy unless we are doing it and even then only rarely.
The culmination of all this was her taking an anxiety pill then drinking, freaking out, pissing off my mom, destroying my property and trying to kill herself multiple times. I screamed at her that we were done. The next day she goes to an unstable family member of mine and makes the situation even worse, drinking herself almost to death. She made me feel extremely guilty for kicking her out, but I made sure she knew all the reasons it was happening. She blamed her actions on the pill; although she also admitted she has a problem with her drinking. I told her I still wanted her, but she has to go back home and figure out her issues, stop drinking and come back with a realistic plan for her future. A break, I guess. I told her I only want the sweet caring girl I once knew. I left a note in her luggage telling her she is the one, but only if we can learn from our mistakes and rekindle that spark.
My question is, how the $@!# do I handle this at this point?! I've never been on break before. Its been 2 days. We've been in light contact. Another girl is circling me, and I'm struggling to hold off those advances. Do I give in? It feels wrong. I know my gf is flawed but I want her. I just want the best version of her, like when we first met. I understand some of this is on me not being used to the daddy role. But would it kill her to take some responsibility? Do you think our break will even be able to rekindle our spark at this point? Should I cut off all contact even though I said Id call each day to check up on her recovery?
Please help me figure out my life right now! I could really use the help from fellow alphas in relationships out there who have figured out that balance to be happy in a couple. For me, I seem to only be in control of my relationship until life gets hard and my focus is elsewhere. Pua was easy compared to this. I started seeing a therapist last week.