GF invited an overseas male friend to stay at her place wtf

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:38 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:22 am
Posts: 1
Hey there you guys. I need an opinion on something that happened recently.

I’ve been dating a woman for 4 months and a half. We get on really well, great sex, strong connection and understanding, we cook, we laugh, we sometimes talk long term. We’re not “official” yet but we talk everyday and meet 3 days a week. We have a great thing going on. I'm 43 and she's 29.

Last night, after sex and some hours before she had to take a plane to go back to her home country for 10 days, she casually says that in one month a friend from university is coming to the city we both live in and he’s going to stay at her place. Also, she’s going to be busy with him for those 4 days and we won’t be able to meet.

I immediately felt awkward and weird and asked why she could not include me in her plans with him and she said because she will be touring him around the city and i already know the city (my bullshit detector tingled) and then also added that she needs her space and that being with him is pretty much like when she hangs out with her local female friends.

I really suck at arguments and get emotional and don't know how to deal very well with awkward situations. I tried to not overreact and kept my cool. I obviously felt weird but still made some statements and asked some questions. I surely did not speak my mind completely. After sex that night i asked who the guy was, and then said: "imagine if i told you that a female friend was coming to this country and that i would be hosting her and that i did not want to see you during that weekend" and she replied: "it's not like that". Later that day via SPAM (she was already at the airport) she asked why i could not sleep really well the previous night and i said because of her male friend visiting. She said it's just that a friend visiting and she's got nothing to hide.

I said that the whole "overseas friend" subject needed another proper face to face talk. She agreed and said that it was a "tense" subject so it deserved another talk. She also reassured me by saying: "i want you to know, as i've said before, that i'm with you" meaning her intentions to keep dating me are firm.

What the fuck should i do? To be honest, the first thing that comes to mind is either: 1) They want to fuck 2) He wants to fuck her.

I do trust her but let's be honest, it probably just takes a couple of wine glasses and a bit of remembering the good old times to end up screwing in bed. The guy is going to be here for 4 nights, she wants to date me but the risk will still be there.

I do not want to tell her what to do but i want to tell her how awkward the whole thing is for me and also i'd like to suggest a little change. The guy can stay at my place and i stay at hers. Also, i'd like to meet the guy at some point during his stay so we can all three of us enjoy a meal or drinks.

What if she insists in going her way? Should i dump her?

Any thoughts?

Thank you so much.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2019 5:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:57 pm
Posts: 797
Location: Portugal
I think u know the answer.

U say u trust her, but here u are sharing ur insecurities.

U guys arent official, so why are u treating her like u 2 are exclusive?

Would u get mad if she was forward that she wanted to fuck her friend? lets be real u 2 arent exclusive.

And u came to the right place, because people are going to feed into your paranoia, cause u looking to people to slap in the face and say how idiot u are being.

So now lets talk about her.

She doesn't want u near... that is certain , her excuse of u knowing the city is bullishit, now that can be for 2 reasons.

1- She is the type of girl who loves the drama and games and wants to fuck with ur mind .

2- She wants space alone with her guy friend, for whatever reason can be.

None of the reasons are good for you, because of your post

Ask yourself

Why does she wants u far away?

Why didn't she ask you, if u wanna come to any of the days?

why doesn't she introduce you to her guy friend? since u guys are so serious

if was the other way around would u do that?

My advice is simple,

Confronting her , will make no difference u will be the jealous guy with no proof, and showing your insecurities will only feed her more, and give her more power.

There are more girls in the sea, doesn't mean u stop fucking her, but i would decrease time spent with her, and eventually leave her and recognize, that she is not the type of girl u are looking for something serious and actually go find someone who respect you the same way u wanna be respected.

They love to lie.

Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

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