Hey guy, i just broke up with my girlfriend after 4 months of ups and downs. But right after i dumped her, i slipped and practically begged her to come back (big mistake, i know). We fought all the time through the last 3 months because of the fact that i was jelous.

My jelousy began because of a situation that occured after 1 month of dating. It was getting real serious and then she texted me asking if it would be allright if she had a movie night with her ex at his place. I got pissed the f**k off and told her that if that's what she wanted then maybe we should take a break and see other people to find out what we really wanted. Then she cried like crazy and apologised a ton. I forgave her but insisted that she had to delete him of off facebook and snapchat and so on. And she did.

Then 2 months in the relationship she broke up with me saying she didn't have enough time for her friends and she felt i was too clingy, which i probably was. But 2 days later she came back because she missed me too much. But then a couple of days later i found out that she had added her ex back on facebook while we were apart. So i told her that she had to delete him if she still wanted to have something with me. And she did, but she got really pissed off because i didn't trust her. So i actually went back and told her that i knew i couldn't control her and i was gonna trust her from there on. But the next time i went out i kissed another girl out of insecurity, and well.. She was hotter than my GF (still big mistake, because i did and still do love my now ex-GF). I felt like shit after doing this, because there is no way my girl was going to cheat. I truely do believe that. But one day when i was alone in her room, i checked her facebook messages with her ex, from back when she asked me if they could have a movie night. And found out that he had offered to lick her all night. To that she answered "no we can't do that anymore because i have a boyfriend now". But then she asked him "but how about that movie night we talked about". So i broke up with her and we said our goodbyes because i didn't want to stay friends. But then she called me and texted me and i couldn't take it anymore so i begged her to come back and we gave it another try. I actually asked to see if she had written with her ex while we weren't together, which she had. But she had told him that she was crying and looking at pictures of me and her because she missed me so much. He completely stopped writing to her after that. So why would you write that if she still liked him. So i was pretty confident that she wasn't into him. But i still felt like she had broken my trust and i had a hard time trusting her which eventually led to her breaking up, and she told me that we were never going to get back together. But i agreed that we could try and be friends. It's now 2 days since we broke up and she has started 4-5 conversations with me, but i kept my answers short because i'm honestly not all that excited about being only friends with her. So she asked me if it was annoying that she wrote, and if she should stop. I told her that it's confusing to me that she tells me that we are never going to be together and then writes me 4-5 times the following 2 days. And that i didn't think friendship was an option for me, so she could write when she missed me as a boyfriend. She replied that she missed me but she knew it couldn't work.

She doesn't want to get back together, no matter what because she doesnt believe it could work. I believe we could make it work, because we love each other and that's what matters the most afterall in my opinion. She hasn't changed her facebook status to single so it still says that she is in a relationship with me. Guys, i need advice here, i'm really confused. How do i get her back. I know i shouldn't rationally try to convince her to be with me, because it is all about emotions. I haven't started any text conversations since we broke up so i don't think i look to'o needy. Should i change my facebook status to single to show that i don't need her?

Whats my best play here guys?

I stopped reading halfway through. This woman is fucked up and you need to keep her out of your life. I know it's hard for you to see it because you still love her, but with time this will become clear for you. Whether you want to believe it or not she is VERY capable of cheating on you. Trust me, I've been there.

And you sure as hell are not jealous for the thing about her having a movie night with her ex. Wtf is that shit?!?!

_________________
What would James Bond do?

Okay thanks for the reply, it really hurts to move on. But yea i think you're right.. F*cking women

yeah man, I agree. Leave her asap...adding her Ex back on FB is a bad sign, she broke loyalty with that already

Of course there is better ways you could have reacted to the movie night situation, but in all honesty you're totally justified in being pissed off I think any red blooded male with feelings for a woman would feel the same way. The mistake you made was acting emotionally not to say you weren't justified in doing so I mean your gf is asking you if its ok that she spends the night at her ex's WTF is that shit of course its not. However I'm gonna strongly reccomend you check this out www.understandingrelationships.com there is material on here that deals with your situation specifically. I'm reccomending you check this out to learn what you could have done better not as a way to get this girl back because in all honesty I don't think you want her back.

I'm going to do a little update to the story, you never know if it might help someone.. I told my ex that i couldn't be friends and deleted all my memories of her. I was actually doing a bit of progress in getting over her, but then something horrible happened. She showed up at my favourite bar with her ex boyfriend, for his his birthday party. They weren't really doing anything so i thought she might have come to make me jelous. So i talked to her telling her that i thought we should be together because we love each other. She said that she didn't know but she was kissing and hugging me. I told her that i hoped she would think about it and that i would leave her because it was too hard to see her hanging out with him.

So i left, but to my dissapointment there weren't going any public transportation at that time at night so i had to go back to the bar. When i entered, i noticed her straight away sitting and grabbing her ex in the crotch. I talked to her again and she said that, it was only because she was really drunk and it could have been anyone. Then we talked for a long time and then her ex and his friend came to say that they were leaving. She decided to join them but told me that she was definatly going home alone and that she didn't have any feelings for him.

Personally, i don't believe that for 1 second. I think she slept with him tonight. I keep slipping because i love her but i really hope i'm not so stupid that i try to get her back again. I really think she is a horrible person when she's able to do something like that to me. I feel like this has scared me for life and i find it hard to believe that i should meet a trustworthy girl ever.

Well if you want to find a trustworthy girl, obviously she's not going to be frequenting bars or getting drunk in public

Let her go.

She sounds very much like my ex-wife. Is she insecure? It sounds cold hearted but I made a New Year's resolution to seduce her. I pushed her away, negging the shit out of her and generally lowering her value to me. Women like that thrive off validation from people they believe to be higher value than them so the more I pushed the harder she chased. They also value the way they are remembered too, so I started casting doubts on our past during the period where we were genuinely deeply in love, particularly questioning her commitment to me in that period. Time constraints were good too. I'm not proud of it but it worked.

It is, however, fucking hard work and, to be honest, really not worth the effort.

Go out, get laid. Fuck her (not literally). Work on you.

I heartily recommend reading No More Mister Nice Guy based on the what you said about all the begging and stuff. Good book about setting boundaries and manning up.

OP, sounds like you're dating one of my exes. Don't repeat my mistake by staying for over 2 years. Run and never look back. Your life will not be good until she's out of it, no matter what you might delude yourself in to believing. You're addicted to her and a hallmark trait of addiction is distorted thinking.

I told you, stay away from her. Now you did it to yourself. But it's okay, today is a new day and you are in the right place. Work on your PUA skills and you will be going on dates and fucking girls hotter than her. Eventually you will find a girl with some worth and it's going to be that much sweeter when you contrast it with what she put you through. But you also have to learn to not take shit from these worthless women and be a real man. Remember that this can be a blessing in disguise if you stay positive and learn from your mistakes. It's usually when some kind of tragedy happens that we finally start making the effort to change. Speaking from personal experience.

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What would James Bond do?