To make a long story short :

Met girl in december 2012, things hit up really quickly, both fell in love. I was dealing with anxiety problems at the time and I wasn't at my best so things were a little shaky between us but she was basically all I could ask for, physically, emotionally, sexually. It was all there for me. I made the mistake of breaking up with her in april of 2013 and she started seeing another guy around that time. I then realised I had made a huge mistake and tried getting her back by all means possible and ended up looking like a total beta and she blocked me from facebook and everywhere else. In the following months she contacted me once or twice, saying she missed me and she was confused but nothing ever came out of it and she got back to her new bf.

Last time we talked was in september 2013. Then a few days ago I was working at my bar and I see her across the room. It had been one year without any contact. She came up to me and we started chatting. All her friends were leaving and she was just standing there talking to me and I could see she wanted more so I offered her to go somewhere else and catch up, as friends.

We went to a nearby park and basically talked about anything and everything. She was complimenting me on the muscles I developped recently. We chatted about things that went wrong between us, the girlfriends I made since her etc. At some point she comes up to me and just hugs me, and kisses my neck. I was really confused and didn't do anything but hug her back. After an hour or two passed she said she had to go as she was working the next day and it was already 2 am. I offered to walk her back to her place where she now lives with her new boyfriend of one year.

We show up to her place and she walks me past the corner and starts hugging me again, telling me she thought she would always love me. That she thinks about me often and that she misses me. At some point shes staring into my eyes and telling me she can't let me go. She approaches her lips and starts kissing me. After that she says she needs to go to bed. Tells me she thinks what we just done was bad but I tell her there are some things we can't control and some things that will always be the same. Then she says ''see you in a while I guess''. and then leaves.


it's been 3 days and she completely fucked my mind up. I was still thinking about her last year obviously but now the feelings of heartbreak are back. I don't know what state of mind she's in right now, if she really still loves me, if she's confused. I don't think she has my phone number anymore. She knows where I live.

I want her back so bad but I'm not sure if it's even possible or if she was just fucking with me. Now this girl is 21 and her new boyfriend is 30ish, and has two kids. I'm pretty sure she likes him alot but pretty sure also it's not as passionate as it was with me. She must be so confused. She kept asking me if I thought I would ever be ready again to commit with someone, if I would ever be really happy with myself. She knows my dark side and she wants the best for me but I can tell there are still feelings lingering.

I can't stand this anymore.

Hey man,

What exactly are you looking for in terms of advice?

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

I'm not sure exactly.

I think I'm still in love with that girl and it really messed with me to have her to this. I'm wondering what were the reasons she could've been doing this, if it meant anything, and if there's a chance she will try to contact me in the near future following this event. I know you guys are not psychics but I'm in the complete dark here.

I'm pretty sure I love this girl and would do anything to have her back. Haven't tried anything so far.

Here's what I think - you won't love this, either:

I think she's going through a rough patch with the new boyfriend. She's hedging her bets with you, since you're familiar and she knows you're still into her.

I think she's kind of toxic for you too, in that your question/comment/rant isn't even about pickup. It's how to get this one girl (back) by any means necessary. No matter what we tell you here, you're going to beta-out and give her what she wants. You want her too badly, so you'll bend over backwards to make her happy.

My advice, which you won't love... Date others and don't fall for this.

And if we forget all that for a moment, what would be your tips to get this girl back?

I haven't contacted her since that night, I think I'm doing pretty well so far.

That proves my point completely.

You said you didn't know if she's fucking with you. You said you can't stand this anymore... and it's taken you a YEAR to get to this point... why would you put yourself through this ALL OVER AGAIN?

Step back - here's what we know/is probable:

- She's cheating on someone with you... she'll cheat on you with someone else eventually.
- You're the backup plan. You're who she falls back to until someone new comes along.


What would I do, you ask? I wouldn't bite... that's for sure. I think you are being played.

But - you're going to do anything to attempt to make this happen - no matter what anyone here tells you.

I would tell her you're not going to see her romantically as long as she's with another guy. If she's serious about shit with you, she'll kick him to the curb.

Let's just make it clear that I have no intentions of contacting her first.

I'm just wondering.

I basically kicked this girl to the curb while she was madly in love with me, it was a hard breakup, it took weeks and then she finally got over it and got a new boyfriend, and EVEN THEN she was still second guessing it for a few weeks/months until we decided on no contact reluctantly, the last thing she said was ''I love you''. So It wasn't a typical breakup.

Go chop a tree or hit the weights to get some manhood back.