I need to give you guys the entire story. I have been in love with this girl since 10th grade, serious marriage type of thing with her for the last 3-4 years. I was the love of her life and she was the love of mine and it was fucking awesome, some of the best feelings I have ever experienced in my life and we both were deeply in love. We had a long distance relationship for 2 years straight and it was perfect by all means, no cheating, no eyes for other men or women, I was very safe and secure with her and her with me.

By our sophmore year of college though she has a fall out with her roommate whom she was best friends with for the past few years and has to find a place to live. She decides to move into the apartment with her two cousins, both of whom I was friends with and we played video games together, kicked it chilled etc. Now im gonna be honest here, I was deeply insecure in the 2nd year of our relationship, shes the type of girl who has nothing but guy friends and I was fine with that before but it eventually started to piss me off that she was giving other dudes so much attention via text (she would never see them just text and have friendly conversations, and I do KNOW this as a fact). I grow more and more insecure and the long distance relationship isnt quite helpful so eventually I do what the rest of you nerds like me did, turned to the internet for help with her.

I found this site and started reading everything I could about how to be an Alpha Male and all of these things, I even started getting female friends and hanging out with fairly sexy women but never really pursuing anything sexual with them. My girlfriend stuck to me like glue once this started, it was crazy because I found myself caring for her less and less and Im not sure if its a downside of this PUA shit or not but I do know that I still have/had a deep love for my gf. I pushed her away time and time again (for no reason at all) and eventually she grew tired of it and finally started dating another guy. I had no idea this guy was one of her cousins that she was living with. The entire time I believed this guy to be her cousin because they always behaved as cousins and I think that she was never looking at this guy before we broke up and only while she was vulnerable did this guy make his move and eventually score with my GF. (They had been claiming to be cousins for years and I can honestly say that I KNOW she never looked twice at him while we were together.)

Now the tables turn and I am by far the biggest AFC you would ever meet, im crying and sobbing, cant sleep, cant eat, i drop 50 pounds in 3 months for tons of exercise and lack of food. I am fucking a girl in the process though, a man has his needs, lets be honest. I change colleges to get her back and by the end of July me and her are back talking and texting and slowly getting into the groove of things, but all along im being a total beta bitch, no doubt about it and i know for a fact that it turned her off but she does love me because she eventually moves out from the guy she was fucking and leaves him alone and lives with me. This are solid for a few months and eventually in my mind I started to resent her, I always brought up the fact she fucked this guy to her and constantly made a big fuss about it and being just a total beta. Needless to say she goes back to the guy and has sex with him after 4-5 months straight of me being a bitch.

I blame myself totally for this, because the girl was a total wife to me and showed me a ton of love and genuinly took great care for me. I fell off with all that resentment and never gave her the gold she deserved for all the rocks she was giving. Now I cannot trust her for what she has done but I do want her back but I know that right now it will not happen and I told her that we will be NC for a year. I tell her to figure out what she really wants to do with the guy and in all honesty I think she does not want him and just use him as a comfort for the things between us, but i need to let her figure that out even if it means she will continue to fuck him, im good with that.

I believe that I need to work on myself in this year, I need to get my body back in shape. I have become a fat slob again, I need to learn to love myself again, and become the man that I used to be. Idealistic, knowledgable, funny etc and I know for a fact that I will not become that if I have any contact with her. Do not get this twisted I will be trying to fuck as many girls as I possibly can within this year of NC and if I happen to fall in love with another woman then so be it, or if she happens to fall in love with the guy she is fucking then it will totally be the end of us and Im perfectly OK with that because we both weren't happy and if he makes her happy Im satisfied with her being with him because besides the backstab he did to me his is a pretty decent guy. (I dont believe she'll fall in love, I think she'll fuck him a few more times and figure out that they have nowhere to go with it and eventually break it off sometime in the next year.) She won't be vulnerable for that long and she'll see him for what he really is, but that will sort itself out, one way or another.

So in conclusion the reason for this long ass post is this, Can we come back from this? Do you guys think that I if I become the man I totally can be by sticking to myself for a year, revitalizing my batterieis, stopping the insecure shit that we can become whole again?

Tldr: If male stops being a beta bitch, and goes NC on ex-gf who fucked around with another guy while we we're on "Breaks" (we always agreed to not fuck other people on breaks), and both still want each other after the year of NC, can we work again?

Im genuinly curious what you guys think. I really blame myself for a lot of her behavior, I had frame control over our entire relationship before and we both we;re happy and secure, but when things went sour they went really sour.

Read as far as "She fucked her cousin." Well, you may as well have just said that.

For real dude!?

First of all: She cheated on you how the fuck is that "marriage material"? If she were marriage material she never would have cheated and would have broken up with you first instead of dating another guy who happened to be... HER COUSIN! Nothing else needs to be said here. Fucked her cousin. Cheated on you with her cousin.

Stop making up excuses for her and move the fuck on. She was fucking other guys and probably her cousin the entire time you were together in a "perfect" long distance relationship. To make matters worse the dude was your friend... Have some backbone and forget about her.

Maybe i didnt explain correctly, we were over whenever they fked, it just feels like she cheated because we were still in contact

Accept that it's over and move on.
You're acting like she's mother Theresa and the last woman on earth. Hell you d be safer sitting at home and masterbating than fcking her.

Shes no saint and def not the last woman on earth, i will b smashin sumthin,but u guys arent answern the question....can I recoup myself, get myself together and let her figure herself out and mayb jus mayb we can try again much latert

You're asking the wrong question(s).
Nobody has a crystal ball, so in the mean time you just do YOU, and let the chips fall wherever they may.

Yes.

OP a bit of advice? Don't fuck anyone that has fucked their cousin. That's nasty, yo.

Thanks guys, and it wasnt her blood cousin, they were pretend cousins

LMAO.

Pretend cousins? Sounds like bad news bears to me. NEXT.

I'm totally seeing how this chick is marriage material now. Man, what a keeper... Lies to her boyfriend of 2+ years about some random guy being her cousin, keeps it up for the entire relationship then moves in with him "because she's stuck" and ends up fucking him.

Marriage material... Right.

Do yourself a favour and forget this girl asap. Do as previously mentioned and just work on YOU for yourself and not anyone else. That chick was trash and not worth the time bro.

Pretending "Doctor". Bawhahahaha.

Guess what Bro, she was pretending to care about you as well.

If you dedicate yourself properly to this goal, you will find you never needed her.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Without a doubt guys, thanks for the advice. I will be working purely on myself.

You want her because she's been, and still is, a source of validation for you. Why? You haven't been pushing hard enough to meet other women, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY work on yourself.


Trust me dude, there are days I find myself dreaming of my ex. LOL You want to know what kinda person she was?
-found out she was an escort 5 months into the rel
-didn't respect me, shamed me in front of my friends
-had guys creeping on FB and towards the end was hitting up some guy to meet for drinks late at night (in spite of getting angry at me for hanging out w a female friend the night before, in spite of the fact that friend introduced us)
-gave me ultimatums to ditch my best female friend who she was convinced was trying to 'steal' me away
-hit me on more than a few occasions, took nails to my neck
-called cops on me told them I was harassing her, had a 'no contact' order issued on me having some cop make all sorts of threats to me

Really. Come on. Your girl doesn't sound like much of a catch either tbh. Realize its your EGO and attachment cycle that's trying to bring you back into that mess.

DUDE, MOVE ON, LEAVE GARBAGE WHERE IT BELONGS IN THE TRASH. If you insist in toiling in the trash you're always going to have a residue of stink on you, and you'll get nowhere in life. Be the man you want to be now, put the pieces in place, find a girl who supports you on that quest, not some psychotic emotional vampire who has nothing to offer you but drama and heartbreak.

Heywood said it all with one sentence.