i saw in a sticky a way to organize my post. so i will.

GIRL
20 yr old, in college, working, very social, some self esteem issues about her femininity, kinda tomboyish

SITUATION
officially dating for 8 months. in LDR, but not so bad, 2-3 hours in full from house to house. started having sex late, after about 4 months in(yeah i know, i fucked it up even then). we heard from each other every 1-2 days, saw each other at least once a week, it was ok

PROBLEM
LDR frustration in short. dont have much sex, had really long and bad time recently without it(work, transport, space, school etc). but still, situation is not so bad, i KNOW we could still manage logistics to hook up here and then. so i payed attention recently how she handles opportunities for us to meet up. result is her investing too little effort on her part, but still pretty open and responsive otherwise. so i figured that some slut complex, and LDR are to blame, ok.

now heres the problem. frustration psyched me out so i made a big deal out of it one day we meet up in public. we talked about sex, LDR, what can we do etc. so we parted with her a little sad, and frustrated(well i just dumped my frustrations on her) and said we will talk later. i just assumed no contact until i get my shit straight. from then communication has broken apart. we just texted a little agreeing we will take some time apart, and wait until logistics clear up. there is another issue, there is one other girl driving me insane. hot as hell, personality wise too(not interesting, just hot as hell). we text here and there online, we had "something" while i was with my gf but nothing that would by itself cause problems. it maybe even done some good, pushing me a little out of my scarcity mindset.

i think i could get back with my gf without much trouble but will need to invest even more energy to make it worthwhile. needs work and there is no guarantees. the other girl is still an option but all i can expect from her is some hotter sex, maybe more of it, and no real relationship. maybe even nothing. if i patch things up with my gf, i will still have fun with her, she means something to me, but i know that LDR problems wont go away just so. i would really like to be with her, but im afraid i will miss some great opportunities and get even more invested in an unsatisfactory/high maintenance relationship.

so, wat do? wait a reasonable time then contact my gf and see what can we do, wait till she tries to make up, or go with the hot girl now? last contact 8-9 days ago.

EDIT whats by your opinion a "normal" frequency of sex with people in a relationship which dont live together?

What's normal if you're not living together...

Totally depends on age and just how far apart you are.

In your situation where it's 4-6 hrs of driving just to see each other (round trip), once a week would even be tough to maintain... (though on that "once a week", I'd be sure to hit that like 5 times)...

From personal experience, in a relationship in the same town with reasonably similar schedules -- but not living together, 3 times a week, I would say... But that's just me.

well 3 times is normal for me too, once a week i could manage. fuck, even once in 2 weeks, if it would be stable. but it requires conscious effort from her side also, otherwise is not doable. you see the problem here , my options are ultimatum or waiting. even if she was mature enough to deal with it, her anti-slut programming would remain and cause resistance. other girl contacted me on facebook yesterday also... i got great frame and status with her, i could lead it too practically anything, if i wanted too.