Almost engaged...........desperate........how to proceed???



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PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 8:21 pm 
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hey guys;

I am in kind of a shit storm here. Let me give you the short version of the story.

So I got involved with my sisters best friend. which in itself is a kind of no no. anyways. Initially i was not at all interested and kind of played around with her saying that i was not interested but still flirting the hell out of her. And eventually we started dating.
She is just 22 and i am 27. I guess my sister kind of made a cool bro image which kind of triggered her attraction. So thats how the relatioship started.
and immediatly she started having insecurity issues. Cant really blame her as I tend to keep my distance in the relationship. I have never had a serious relationship, nothing more than 2 months. It was always just plutonic.
But I really started liking her and even could say that I am in Love. cant really belive that i could fall so hard for someone.
Anyways it progressed quite fast. No game required. My sister had done all the hard work. we dated for 3 months. had a blast of a time. I kind of get bored easily. But OMG this girl could keep me on my toes. Shes kind of tomboyish, idiotic and completely immature. I think she has a EQ of a 10 yr old. I guess I kind of fell for the innocence.
After 3 months her school was done and she had to move abroad for her masters where her dad was working. She didnt want to but her family kind of pushed her into it. Her dad, to be more precise. Anyways we continued the relationship. I knew it was gonna be hard but i thought we could stick it out.
And we did. through her insecurities and my stupid clinginess and a lot of other fucked up issues. But I believe we where there for each other when we needed someone. This went on for a year.
I was starting to get used to the distance and the goodbyes. When suddenly she kind of freaks out when she gets to know that one of exs from australia is visiting me. She says she wants make things more serious and all. I kind of realise that the insecurity from the start is still there. And I was also kind of thinking of taking it to the next level. So i ask her to introduce me to her parents nxt time she comes down.
So I go meet her parents and everythings all fine and all. But they kind of didnot whole heartedly like me. I have no idea why. but still every thing goes on smoothly and shes happy that they have accepted me but was kind of dissapointed that they are not completely happy.
From here on the I fuck up everything. So i come with a plan to introduce my parents to hers. Thinking that if they realise i am not screwing around with there daughter they will be happy and in turn she will be happy.
but this back fires. I have no idea what went on but after the meet up her dad comletely goes against me.
Apparently he thinks that my parents dont like her. But thats just bull crap. Because they have know her for past three years through my sis.
One thing i never liked about her was that she was a dadys girl. So she puts up a fight but eventually lets in. I dont really blame her. Her fathers a piece of work. Really emotionally tortures her. But she cant see that. Or she refuses to see that. So she kind of stops talking to me and starts saying we should break up. And the worst part is I was considering proposing after her studies.

I know I should have shut her off. but just couldnt do it. I went behind her asking her not to. Sorry not asking her, begging her would be more appropriate. Which again back fired and now she completely lost her feelings for me she says. we have not talked for the past two weeks. I am still in love with her and i really wanted this to work out.

Is there anyway out of this. the worst part is the distance. couldnt even meet her when all this crap happened. Both of us have put so much of effort into this. cant believe that its gonna blow up just because her stupid dad thinks my family is not good enough for her. WTF am i supposed to do. I really want this to work. I will go to any extent. as they say alls fair in love and war.

Oh yeah BTW shes a christian and a virgin. Kind of really new for me. She didnt want to have intercourse. and I dont know why but I let her have that. Was my first time with a virgin and kind of didnt want to hurt her. I dont know what the fuck I was thinking. I am having a really hard time moving on. I think controling myself kind of made me more attached to her. I really need help. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH. Not had sex for the past two years. I am going mad. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:


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PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 9:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 10, 2013 12:59 pm
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No real advice but fuck. Only thing I would say would be to stop blaming the dad and start taking some responsibility with what went wrong. And stop begging her, this is never attractive. Since she is long distance and since you never had sex with her it would seem like a lost cause:(


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 6:24 am 
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I dont understand. What am I supposed to take responsibility for???? And there is a chance of her coming back. Very low possibility but there is a chance. and when i mean no sex, the actual f***ing. We have been intimate and done everything except the actual bang bang. And shes not even kissed anyone other than me. or so she says :) I am just confused if I should even wait and see what happens.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 5:13 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
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Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Hey man,.



I give this advice to another member recently and judging from what I've read through you maybe able to grab a jewel or two from it.

"There is no concrete evidence to back what I am about to say. Its more of a metaphysical thing, but what I've experienced and what many people I've known have experienced is women can always hold out for a moment longer than the point where it seems almost unbearable for men. By unbearable I mean.. At the point where you are feeling like " Fuck this shit.. I'm going to just call/text/ her". When its so strong is the point at which she is thinking about contacting you the most.

Energy always follows thought.

Now let me say; if you reach out to contact her at this point, you will be putting off an opportunity for you to learn the power of letting the woman go. And this is a lesson all men must learn before they can become truly successful with women. You only learn this lesson by letting go out of choice, not necessity.

Men tend to thank they've let women go after they texted her 10 times, called her 3 and she ignore them. Thats not letting the woman go. Thats called picking the only option you have left. You let go out of necessity, not choice. So you don't acquire the stronger sense of presence/aura that attracts women that a man acquires from letting go of women he still has a chance with. You don't grow - you don't learn. You stay on your current level.

I could go on and on about this, but the moral of the passage is; if you're interested in growing in the long run, I would leave this one alone. She may reach out - she may not, but what you will acquire will be much more beneficial than any one relationship ever could be.

Now if that isn't your interest and you feel both comfortable and content with where you are on your journey. Call her don't text. Call her up and let her know that you'd still like to continue to see her. Be cool and be calm; like you've been busy in life lately, but you've accomplished a few things and you now have time to date again. A woman is always responsive to that kind of energy.

With all due love in respect,

Peace bro."

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:25 am 
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hey guys,

thanks for the advice and all. really helped me out. kind of back to normal now. I just found out that shes back in town from one of her friends. Shes been here for about two or three weeks. Shes been trying to keep it from me. I think she had a falling out with her dad or something of the sort. Dont know the details.
Now again I am really tempted to contact her. But gonna keep my cool. I hope. Or Should I make contact??


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:38 am 
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Read My Book
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Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
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Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
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Quote:
hey guys,

thanks for the advice and all. really helped me out. kind of back to normal now. I just found out that shes back in town from one of her friends. Shes been here for about two or three weeks. Shes been trying to keep it from me. I think she had a falling out with her dad or something of the sort. Dont know the details.
Now again I am really tempted to contact her. But gonna keep my cool. I hope. Or Should I make contact??

Read my post again.

Absolutely not.

"I'm going to keep my cool.. I hope :) "- How weak does that sound to you? Now you tell me what woman wants to be with a man that can't resist his own emotional urges. In what other areas of your life will this affect you? Do you eat every time you feel like it? Do you hit someone every time you feel upset? Come on man. Be an adult. Leave the girl alone for now.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 5:45 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:18 am
Posts: 72
If she's in town there's nothing wrong with saying hi and making sure she's feeling alright. Don't say anything about getting back with her though. You've begged her enough, let her come to you on that one. There's nothing wrong with being nice and treating her like an old friend though.


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