Guys, i love my girl, but i resent her and cant fully love her because of disrespectful orcold insensitive comments she has made to me in the past.

Been with her well over 2 years and whipped her into shape about 1 year in. But her comments about other guys, her sexual past, ect along with her jealous, immature games that were designed to knock me down a peg still have me angry.

I dont want to bring them up to her and dig up old wounds because that would make me insecure in her eyes. By they have damaged my confidence so greatly that m torn up inside. I want to clarify things with her that she said that might or might not be lies. I want to tell her how cold she was.

But i dont want to ruin my status in her eyes. To her im decisive, im dominant, and shes always in approval seeking mode and i have all the power. Onthe outside im cool and uncaring but loving. However on the inside her past comments make me want to cheat, get back at her, or ask her if she was lying to me to make me insecure or telling the truth to make me insecure.

I dont know what to do

Ps. I tried to make her jealous by mentioning other girls back then too, but mine were playful. Hers were attacks on my body and thimngs that crossed the line

Lol. I like you dorkley. Even though you've had multiple accounts and threads on this girl, the trend has been she's insulted or joked about your manhood and you've gotten or always were insecure about it. I remember in one of your threads months ago I told you you and you're gf would be resentful towards each other. My guess is you lacked true confidence when you met this girl, and her comments/jokes have crippled that. It's tough to give advice on this because your rs is honestly bizarre, unhealthy and immature. So...I'll do a Hunter Fox and suggest cheating. Maybe that will help your confidence. Other advice would be to start clean with this girl or leave, but you're insecure and can't be honest and mature with your gf, and even if you did she probably wouldn't get it.

Tell her not to do it. If she does it again, walk away and don't contact her. Let her contact you. When she contacts you, tell her you told her to stop and she was too immature to do so. If she gives you attitude about it, do it again. Quit entertaining bad behavior.

My real advice would be to find a woman who respects you. But my guess is that you wouldn't listen to that.

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The problem is i did this before and she completely changed her ways for almost a year now. I told her the type of respectful relationship i want and she doesnt have to be part of it if she cant live to my standard.

However, i feel resentment anger and insecurity because of what she said so long ago now. I dont show it on the surface at all; the sex is plentiful, she wants me all the time, i lead im decisive ect....im very in tune with what makes a woman attracted...however the shitty comments of long ago have my inner game in shambles

Things are completely fixed...except what is inside of me, and i cant totally accept her

You changed her behavior but you fear she still thinks all the things she said in the past and is holding them under the surface. If it's bothering you this much go find a new girl.

Indeed. I feel like im not sure if some of her comments were true or if she was lying to play head games, since she is insecure

She has said she exaggerated alot in the past and done things to get me jealous. But trying to get me insecure by saying "do you think you can hannndddlleeee ittttt" about other guys shes been with with a smirk on her face, then she changes the subject, well damn i dont know if she lies to get me insecure or she told the truth to get me insecure.

She has lied to me in the past with the same tone, so i think they were lies

You want to believe they were lies in order to protect yourself; i.e. if they were lies said to drop you down a notch, then you can handle that, but if they were truths you would be livid.

You possibly feel like the dominance you are displaying with her is partly a facade because some of the things she said bothered you to the core.

Nobody's perfect, but an emotionally healthy woman does not play these kind of head games for the most part, hence they're emotionally healthy. And there are a lot of them out there. Just sayin'.

Hello my friend. I feel for you, I truly do.
I was in just such a relationship a long time ago and honestly, I'm glad it happened because I learned from it.

I'm going to try my best to help you, but on your part I need maturity, strength and courage. Can you do that for me brother? We'll get you out of this rut in no time.

How did you whip her into shape? What does that even mean? What do you care about her sexual past or other guys? You are clearly insecure and then you mention her jealousy. You need to understand the nature of the feminine. Her energy is naturally chaotic and unpredictable, like the ocean. The masculine energy strong, stoic and grounded, like the cliffs. Do you see how these energies interact? Let her waves crash against your cliffs. This goes for all men in the world: Stop hoping for your women to change! It's like asking the sun to stop shining. Her nature is to test. She is behaving that way because she needs to know you are strong enough to protect her. If you can't handle her shit, how can you protect her from the rest of the world's shit? How will you one day protect your future child? How will you stand up in the world and create a life for your future family? She tests because it is through discovering your masculine core that she comes to know herself!

This jealousy thing is childish. I'm seeing this all the time. Men want their women to be porn stars in bed but want them to be virgins or semi-virgins at best. The fault is in you, not women. Sex is normal, sex feels good, get over it. If you don't learn to accept sexuality, two things will happen; she will either ditch you because you aren't man enough to handle her sexually, or she will lie to you to make you feel secure... Good doggy.

What is this talk of looking insecure in her eyes? Don't you see that you can't ever hide who you are? A rich man doesn't need to tell you he's rich. You think in her eyes you are a stoic rock? Her tests are this bad because she knows she gets to you. She wants you to man up. If you keep this up you will quickly lose your girls respect, and a man who loses his woman's respect will soon lose that girl.

Clarify things that might or might not be lies? This is childish. Women exist in temporary truths. What they say reflects how they feel in the moment rather than a solid reality. What I'm trying to say is; who gives a shit if what she said was true or not? Why should it have a bearing on your reality? What good would it do to know? In addition, do you think when confronted she would break down and tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth, or will most likely feed you a cleaned up and bow-wrapped version? Let go.

Finally, you trying to do anything is still reacting. Do you think a man tries to make people like him? Do you think a man tries to make his girl jealous to accentuate his self-worth? Do you think a man has anything to prove to anyone?

All of this may seem harsh to you, I understand that, but these are questions you need to ask yourself. It is clear at this point that your woman does not respect you. It is also clear that you don't respect yourself. All these feelings of hurt and neediness stem from you - not from her. Do you think that if you got a new girlfriend your situation would change? Do you think your dream girl is a purring kitten and will always comfort you? She is not your mother - nor does she want to be.

We can spend hours on this, there's clearly ALOT of work to be done on your part, but for now, start with defining your boundaries. You are getting stepped on because you have no boundaries. You have no boundaries because you have no self-respect. She does not respect you because you do not respect yourself. In your relationship with yourself, if love isn't present, who will provide it?

Keep me updated.
Give. Love. Serve.
Mack

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I whipped her into shape by saying i wouldnt be around with a girl in the future who says disrespectful shit about other guys and we both should grow up. Also i told her her comments need to stop since they were over the line of disrespect.

I told you, since then she does noneof this anymore. But back when she used to do this, my problem was i was too unreactive. Shed say something about another guy and let it slide and make a joke of it. Shed say i was small downstairs jokingly and id let it go without reacting.

But after that talk she has been pretty much ideal to me. And also keep in mind i used to be disrespectful to her too so it wasnt a one sided thing. But keep in mind she is very insecure....she wanted commitment....she saw me as the player type who wanted to keep me around...so i think she used to do these things to gain commitment by showing me i cant do any better

Not to mention she has told her friends that i am the most decisive guy she has ever met, she sees that other girls want me, has described me as confident and wants a future with me mack. So im not sure you had proper context before u posted, that is my fault. She has also said that she is concerned that i am never jealous, and she isnt used to that

I did show at one point a bit of insecurity about my package....but that has literally been all ive shown as far as insecurity, and it wasnt even that bad. We all have ourmoments

Not to mention, a chick who does not respect her bf wouldnt be on his dick 24/7 right....well i have sex with her 3 times a day and she comes onto me

You're trapped in an ego cage.

Try it your way and tell me how well it works out for you.

Mack

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Vague talk aside, she's made jokes about your dick and having bigger dicks. So you're worried your dick is small and she's had bigger. Yes, she was rude and terrible for making those jokes, but if she's past that now this is your problem. I don't know how you can get over an insecurity like this, and I bet that even if you leave her, you'll be sad when you fuck the next girl and you'll roll over and wonder why she didn't say "it's so big" and the cycle will repeat. This is tough because I don't think you'll ever be happy. You're not confident and you'll hide it at your misery. If your dick is small, it's small. If she has had 12 inch cocks and been in orgies, it is what it is. You need to be able to accept the truth about yourself but I don't think you can. Everyone is insecure about some stuff, but they learn to just accept it. You wont be confident in yourself until you can fully like yourself, even if you have flaws.

I just wanted to give you context. I think that prior to me telling you this you thought i was unmanly in other ways and that was why she was acting the way she was. Do you see where im coming from?
Also i think u missed my post right before this which gave more info

Bro the thing is im not small enough for her to say definitively anything. Im above the average range from this



According to a study reported in the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity, the erect penis size of most men — 68 percent — is between 4.6 and 6 inches long. About 16 percent of men have an erect penis size longer than 6.1 inches, and of those only 2.5 percent are over 6.9 inches. About 16 percent of men have an erect penis size that’s shorter than 4.5 inches, with only 2.5 percent of those under 3.7 inches.


Unless she has met someone in that 2.5 percent where it would be obvious maybe, i doubt i have anything to worry about....its just angering to me that she said stuff because its a low blow to any male to get him to be insecure

So why do you care about whether what she said was true? Why do you want to ask her if she was serious? Why is there doubt and why does it matter.